Fan Attack

This story reminded me of an experience I suffered.

Football team rivalries are often at the heart of banter in the workplace.  But fans can be legally denied jobs by a potential employer if current staff support a rival team, a judge has ruled.  Companies are allowed to base recruitment decisions on whether a prospective colleague might ‘damage office harmony’, Employment Judge Daniel Wright said.  As such, he said, the boss of a business would not break employment law if he rejected a job application from a Tottenham Hotspur season ticket holder because his office is full of Arsenal fans.

It’s a good thing that this was not a big deal when I first started working for the Great Big Research Company in Chicago, after The Great Wetback Episode of 1986.  Some back story is necessary.

When I first arrived in Murka back then, I stayed with Friend Trevor in Austin TX while my visa issues were resolved (long story, not worth the telling).  Anyway, Trevor was hooked into some cocktail party or other so I tagged along.

I didn’t know anybody, of course, so I was leaning against the bar watching the passing parade — oy, what a show, Austin High Society in full swing — when a very tall blonde guy of about 50 walked over to get a drink, and we started chatting.  Turns out that Bob was actually the recipient of this party, as his photographs were being displayed.  They were extremely good, and I complimented him accordingly (being myself at the time a very keen amateur clicker).  We chatted about f-stops and such for a while, and after that I felt comfortable in asking him whether pro photography was that profitable as a career.  He looked amused, and said, “It’s pretty much a retirement career for me.”  So of course I asked him what he’d done before, and again that amused look.  “I played for the Dallas Cowboys,” he said.

I’d been chatting to Bob Lilly, legendary cornerstone of the Cowboys’ Doomsday Defense, Hall of Famer and “Mr. Cowboy” himself.

Of course I apologized for my gaucheness in not knowing who he was — blamed my ignorance on my recent immigration — but he just laughed and said, “It’s actually been a pleasure talking to someone who doesn’t want to ask me all about that damn Green Bay game in 1966.”

A lovely man and a thorough gentleman.  (I was struck by his enormous hands — I have fairly large hands myself, but when we shook hands, mine disappeared into his grip completely — but his touch while firm was quite gentle, which I think is fitting of the man himself.)  Anyway, on the strength of that fine encounter and because of where I was living, I became a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Which really helped when I moved to Chicago, home of “Da Bearce”, in 1987.

The Bears and their fans were still living in the glow of their 1985 Superbowl victory, and my status as a Cowboys fan was not helped by that infamous 1989 season (quarterback Troy Aikman’s first) in which the Cowboys went 1-15.  Many were the rude comments sent my way — “Of all the teams in the NFL you could have chosen to support, you had to pick the Cowboys?” — but I just grinned and made sure to wear my Cowboys sweater at all office functions which didn’t require a suit and tie.

It helped that only a couple years later the Cowboys beat the Bears in the playoffs, and the anti-Cowboy jibes ended completely in 1991 when the Cowboys won the first of their several Super Bowls under Aikman and Jimmy Johnson, and the Bears became a second-rate team (then, and since).

Anyway, as being a sports fan in Murka is nowhere near as partisan a thing as it is in Third World countries like Britishland, my job at the GBRC was never insecure, in either the getting or the keeping, thank goodness.


I should mention that I’m no longer a Cowboys fan — no special reason, I just don’t care for American football, preferring actual football (where the ball is played with the feet instead of being carried like an egg or tossed like a beanbag).

Go ahead and hate.

Finally!

…as Alert Reader Danny P. tells me:

…and as we all know, when Vegas starts up a little action, it’s officially a Thing.

I know it’s a little too soon to base tradition upon something that has only occurred twice (so far), but I’m hoping that the lime-green dildo becomes a feature, a trademark if you will, of this most excellent institution.

Of course, the Woke / Perpetually Indignant / WNBA [much redundancy]  will do their best to stamp this out — think:  Dildo-Tosser Cam — which makes this whole thing so much the more amusing.


Afterthought:  Reader Danny wants me to assure everyone that he is not fixated on dildos — not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course — but there it is nevertheless.

The Return Of Big Lime

Heeeeere comes another one!

Another night, and another green sex toy has been tossed upon the floor of a WNBA court.

During Friday night’s game between the Valkyries and the Sky, a green dildo was flung from the crowd and landed on the hardwood as players and officials looked on aghast.

As noted in the post below, this is the second such dildo throwing incident, and both instances have come at games when the Valkyrie are playing.

For some reason, this stuff is tickling my (lime-green) funny-bone.

The fact that everyone is so upset and butt-hurt [sic]  about this just makes me giggle all the more.

Appropriate Gesture

Alert Reader Danny P. notified me of something which he thought worthy of comment (me too):

Sex toy thrown on court during final moments of WNBA game

…which gave me the giggles because:

What actually gave me the giggles was not the item per se, but the way it was removed from the court:

The game was paused as police and arena security entered the court to remove the object.

Police AND security?  Let’s not take any chances here, folks.  (No ATF Bomb Squad, even?)

A police officer was seen carrying the object in a towel and removing it from the court.

What, no hazmat suits?

Anyway, as of now it appears that the fuzz haven’t been able to find the miscreant wot dun it, and I hope they don’t.

A lime-green florescent dildo… I didn’t even know they came [sic]  in that color.

Finally, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that as a spectacle, the Great Lime Dildo Incident was probably more exciting than the WNBA game.

Nice People, They Are

There are several good reasons to like the Finns — they’re private people, keep themselves to themselves, and they like to kick Russian ass.  To name but some.

Here’s a good reason to like one of their F1 drivers:

Valtteri Bottas has opened up about his time as a sniper in the Finnish army. The 10-time Grand Prix winner was forced to complete his nation’s mandatory military service between 2008 and 2009 as he was climbing the ladder to F1.

Sadly (I suspect) he didn’t get to shoot any Russians, but hey, that’s just the luck of the draw.  In any event, he’s a fine driver, but just happens to have drawn the short straw most recently, careerwise.  Let’s hope he gets to drive with a team in 2026.

Hiatus

Some sporting news, as it pertains to me only:

1.) The English Professional League (EPL) football 2024/25 season is over until late summer.  There goes my weekly sports event.  Bummer.  At least Chelsea made the top 5.

2.) Formula 1 — which is almost weekly — is starting to heat up, and now that the always-boring Monaco GP is over, we can look forward to some actual drama.

3.) The cricket season is starting up, so that’s good — albeit not weekly — because South Africa has a pretty busy season this year, starting with a tour of Strylia (always a good competition, provided that the Strylians can refrain from cheating).  And speaking of touring Australia, I have to wait until January next year to watch the Ashes (Oz vs. England).

4.) Golf tournaments coming up:  US Open and the Open Championship (British).  I only watch the four majors:  Masters (McIlroy), US PGA (Sheffler) and the two above (winners TBD).

5.) I don’t watch basketball of any description, so whatever happens there is of no interest to me.

6.) Ditto baseball.

7.) Ditto (ice) hockey.

8.) Ditto the NFL.

9.) Ditto tennis except for Wimbledon, and that only occasionally.  I pretty much haven’t watched it since they stopped playing with wooden racquets.

10.) I don’t watch any women’s sporting events, because the skills are crap and there’s no nudity.

Okay, you can all get back to cleaning your guns / cutting your toenails / whatever.