Category: Good Stuff

My Favorite Things (Part 1)

Celebrities, Good Stuff, Guy Stuff

Well hell, if Oprah Winfrey can do it, then by golly so can I.  Okay, a little background:

Every year, the media mogul, 69, shares an expansive gift guide filled with a range of products like kitchen appliances and cooking supplies, furniture and home goods, clothes and accessories, and skin, hair, and makeup items.

And 2023’s is no different. With 109 items in total, this year’s list has ideas for fashion lovers, at-home chefs, food connoisseurs, beauty gurus, and workout fanatics. 

As expected, her list is full of useless shit like face creams and bubble baths:  not the kind of thing on a Real Man’s list unless he’s buying stuff for his wife / mistress / both.

So without further ado, here is Kim’s Favorite Things List (Part 1 — Part 2 next Saturday) with something for everyone.  Oprah did 109 items;  I will only do 100 because unlike Oprah (who had staff to do all the work), I had to do it all by myself.

Aside:  I’m also 69, so there we have it:  battling lists from two Olde Pharttes.

Oh, and one last thing:  all the items below give me a warm & fuzzy feeling when I look at them:  it’s a “favorite things” list and no more.  (Unless you’re very wealthy, it’s not much good as a Christmas list either — unless of course you’re wealthy and want to indulge yourself.)

Buckle down:  this may take a while, but hey, it’s Saturday:  what else are you gonna do?  Let’s kick off with the spendy stuff (all prices are approximate), and there is no order of preference or cost.  It’s all good.

1. 2002 BMW Z8 (4.9-liter V8) — $212,000

Anyone can have a silly Ferrari, Aston Martin or whatever that breaks all the time, for even stupider money.  But there are only a couple thousand of these Beemers left in the world. (And yes, the hard top is removable.)

2. Mauser M98 Standard Diplomat (in your favorite caliber; mine would be 9.3x62mm) —  $14,700


…with manly iron sights, of course.  The optional companion piece:

3. Kahles K 3.5-18x50mm scope — $3,300
…or, if you’re going to be using your M98 for close-up dangerous game: 


4. Kahles K16i 1-6×24 3GR Reticle — $2,200

5. Annual Range Membership (your choice) — $600-$25,000
(This is Texas Defensive Shooting Academy — TDSA — but whichever is closest to you.  Dallas Gun Club, FYI, costs $25,000 per annum last time I looked, and there’s a two-year waiting list.)

6. African Hunting Safari (flight, luxury lodge accommodation only;  add $10,000 for several small-game license fees, up to $35,000 for lion, buffalo etc.) — $15,000 per person

7. Handmade shoes from Ludwig Reiter (Vienna) — $660-$1,200
 
Buy once, wear for life.

8. Matched pair of shotguns (links in pics) — $40,000-$$tupid
 
…for those of the “Over and Under” persuasion.  But for the more civilized amongst us:

9.  Classic watch (e.g. this Omega Genève from the 1970s) — ~$2,000-$5,000

  You may have to search around, but the search is part of the fun.

10.  Sickafus Montana  Shearling Coat — $1,700

Unless you live in the tropics.

11. Martin D-35 Standard Dreadnought Acoustic Guitar — $3,500

Possibly the best-sounding off-the-shelf acoustic ever made.

12. Saddleback Hardside Suitcase — $1,000

13. Zeiss Victory RF 10×54 Rangefinding Binoculars — $4,000

14. Browning Buck Mark Medallion Rosewood .22 LR Pistol — $600

Add the Vortex red-dot scope, for $300

15. Mini-Moke Classic Electric — $30,000
Yeah I know, it’s a damn Duracell car;  but I’d make an exception for this one.

16. Rhino Ironworks Gun Safe — $6,000

Ugly as hell;  but how cool is it…?

17. Chiappa Firearms Kodiak (.45-70 Govt) — $1,750

18. Leathercraft Conner Recliner — $5,000

19. Winnebago Solis Pocket Camper — $150,000


Don’t need much more than that, really.  We are not rock stars.

20. Canon EOS R6 Mark II — $2,500

21. London’s Lights (Leonid Afremov, 60″x40″) — $900

22. Longines Avigation — $2,700

23. DW Collector’s Series Purpleheart Drum Kit — $9,000

…add over a grand when you add the cymbals, stands, bass drum pedal and stool.  All worth it.

24. Hacker-Craft Destroyer — $375,000

I’m not even a Boat Person, and I love the look of this thing.

25. Karl Hauptmann Double Rifle (.375 H&H Mag) — $40,000

26. Angora Executive Desk — $25,000

 27. 1972 BMW 1602 (1600 cc 4-Cyl. 4-Spd manual) — $20,000

Before Beemers got really fuuuugly.

28. Nord Stage 3 88-Key Keyboard — $5,500

29. Beretta Mod 74 Target (.22 LR) — $850

30. Orient-Express: Paris to Istanbul — $20,000 (per person)

That’s the cost of the Grand Suite;  smaller cabins are (not much) less.

31. 1997 Land Rover Defender 110 — $66,000

32. Mesa/Boogie Fillmore 50-watt Tube Combo Amp — $2,700

33. Seychelles Vacation (Four Seasons Mahé) — $15,000/week

Excludes flights.

34. Five-Rifle Set — $1,200

Every so often, J&G puts one of these deals together and at the price, they’re an utter bargain.

35.  Ulysse Nardin Classico — $5,750

36. Mont Blanc Meisterstück Around the World in 80 Days LeGrand Fountain Pen — $1,000

37. CZ 457 Varmint MTR .22 LR — $850

Same hole, all day long.  And for its glass:

38. Trijicon Huron 2.5-10×40 30mm BDC — $700

39. Fazioli F308 Concert Grand Piano — $290,000

To my ears, the best-sounding grand piano of them all.

40. Viking River Cruise:  Amsterdam – Vienna — $7,500 (per person)

41. Fender Precision Fretless Bass — $2,500

My #2 choice for a bass guitar.

42. Wiesmann MF4 Roadster / GT — $150,000

…if you can find one, that is.

43. FN 49 Luxembourg Contract (.30-06) — $2,100

Shoots smoother than a Garand.  Still regret losing mine in the Brazos.

44. Stetson El Amo Premium 500x — $1,100

45. Driven Pheasant Shoot (UK) — $1,200/day

Assumes a 20-bird tally per shooter. Ammo, food, booze etc. not included.

46. Colt Single Action Army 3rd Gen. (.45 Colt) — $5,000

47. Roland JC-120 Jazz Chorus Stereo Amp — $1,250

… unchanged since the 1970s, it’s one of the longest-lasting and most popular guitar amps ever, and deservedly so.  As is the next one:

48. Fender ’68 Custom Twin Reverb Amp — $1,800

One of the cleanest-sounding guitar amps of all time.  Except when you don’t want it to be, and then it gets dirtier than Miley Cyrus on a Saturday night pub crawl.

49. Longshore Tides Dolores Bar Cabinet — $4,500

50. 1975 Rickenbacker 4001S — priceless

Why is it priceless?  Because that’s mine, is why.

Next week, the “budget” 50 favorite things.

Popcorn Time

Good Stuff, Resistance

Ooooh, I like the sound of this, oh yes I do:

Football hooligans are planning to ‘team up’ and ‘protect’ the Cenotaph from pro-Palestine protestors… with police fearing more than a thousand will come to London where a rally against war in Gaza is set to take place.

For those Murkins who are unaware what this is all about:  unlike party-latecomers U.S. of A. to the fun and games of the WWI trenches, the Brits and French had been ritually slaughtered for several years in the trenches of northeastern France.

The First World War, in other words, had a far greater impact on British society (and it still does) than Over Here.

The Cenotaph in London is the great monument to the fallen of that war, and it is probably the single most unifying day in Britishland, where the entire nation falls silent at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, and wreaths are placed at the foot of the monument by kings, queens, princes and princesses.  It is, in short, important.

So the Great Unwashed — in this case the fools who are protesting the current unpleasantness — announced that they were going to hijack the ceremony to make their little strident protests.

Whereupon the working class of Britain — then and now the most patriotic of the British citizenry — have apparently decided that this shall not stand.  (Note that they’re called “football hooligans” by the Loathsome Jackals Of The Press, instead of “people who have a sense of honor” who, it should be said, have had enough of all this bullshit.)

Incidentally — and this predates the Balfour Declaration — had Britain not invaded Judea (the area now mistakenly called “Palestine”) back in that selfsame World War, the area might still be a satrapy of Turkey.

But enough history.  What I want to see is the lads from the Millwall, West Ham, Crystal Palace and other such fan clubs stop beating each other up (the normal Match Day pastime) and converge on the Cenotaph en masse.  Then they can start beating the shit out of the terrorsymp protesters, without the cops doing anything but nod approvingly and, if there were any justice in the world, corral the terrorsymps and prevent them from escaping the festivities.

That won’t happen, of course, more’s the pity.  But I hope just a few hundred terrorsymps get fucked up so badly that they have to wait in the interminable NHS waiting lines to have their broken bones, skulls etc. patched up.

I’ll be Over Here, raising a pint of Fuller’s London Pride in the lads’ honor, oh yes I will.  I’m even going to tune in to the ghastly BBC World TV channel in the hopes that a few BBC journos (who are almost without exception terrorsymps themselves) get their heads broken as well as they try to put their pathetic spin on the event.

That would call for magnums of champagne, never mind pints of ale.

Dogs of war, baby, dogs of war.  I want to see them unleashed, with extreme malice.

If I were in London right now, I might even put on a Millwall supporter’s shirt and catch the Tube over, just to see what I could do to help.  I haven’t been in a decent street fight since I battled apartheid cops in the streets of Johannesburg, and it’s about time.

The Right Attitude

Good Stuff

I don’t care about this political weasel called Dominic Cummings — surely it’s a pornstar name? — but when he was Boris “Massive Failure” Johnson’s advisor back when the serial stud was BritPM, our Dominic said a few really nasty things about some female political weasel or other named Helen MacNamara:

As I said, I have no familiarity with (or interest in) the people and issues involved, but I do like the man’s style.

Needless to say, his blunt honesty is getting him into Big Trouble Over There, and said feministical has gone into Full Butthurt Whine Mode, but in my opinion, modern politics needs more blunt honesty and less mealy-mouthed circumlocution.

Now excuse me while I write another post about how some senile old fuckwit is screwing up our country…

Required Viewing

Deep Thoughts, Good Stuff

Almost every speech or article by Victor Davis Hanson is worth one’s attention, but his speech on George S. Patton is absolutely filled with all sorts of relevance in today’s society.

Specifically, VDH comments on the unease with which civilized societies view (and treat) their warriors — and he’s absolutely correct.  (By the way, the sainted Omar Bradley doesn’t come out very well, which alone makes it worth watching.)

(You only have to watch the first 40 minutes or so to get the full flavor.)

Too Much Hyperbole

Good Stuff

This kind of thing gets up my nose — not the action itself, but the description thereof:

Lewis Capaldi has been praised for his heroic actions after rushing to help an elderly woman who had collapsed on Hampstead Heath in north London.

The singer, 27, was out with friends on the heath when he spotted the woman lying on the ground before dashing to her aid on Wednesday.

Onlookers in the area revealed that Lewis called the emergency services and stayed with her until they arrived to help.

Were his actions praiseworthy?  Of course — but then again good grief, what kind of person would leave an old woman lying on the ground, in obvious distress?

But “heroic”?  I don’ theenk so, Simon.

Had the old lady been attacked by three “teenagers” and Capaldi stepped in to help her:  yes, now that’s heroic.

But just rendering assistance?  That falls under “doing the right thing” and “civic duty”.

Headline hyperbole:  I fucking hate it.

A Day In My Life

Good Stuff, Lifestyle

Indulge me please, O Gentle Readers, while I recount my activities last Friday.  They were nothing special, but there were a couple of highlights.

Woke up a little late after a night which featured “episodic sleep” — other Olde Pharttes will know whereof I speak — and finally fell into some proper sleep at about 5am.

Got up, did the usual Morning Stuff (Rx, urination etc.) and staggered out of the bedroom to make the morning coffee.  Debated about the gin, decided against it as I’d taken New Wife out for a Birthday Dinner the night before, and drunk perhaps a leetle too much sangria.  (Everything in moderation, that’s me.)

Coffee in hand, I discovered lying on my keyboard an empty bottle of some female facial cleansing lotion, and a plaintive note asking me to get her a fresh bottle.

Excellent:  a reason to get out of the house and do some husbandly / housekeeping duties — some groceries, fill the car, nothing special.

On the way out of the apartment complex parking lot, I saw something unusual:  a decently-styled American car:  I think it was a Buick, but as far as I’m aware they (like Lincoln) don’t make passenger sedans anymore, and the badge was too small for me to make the model out, whatever it was, but then again I’m not in the market for anything like that so I pootled out over the irritating speed bumps [1,000-word angry rant omitted].

Decided on Wal-Mart, simply because they’re just up the road and as I said, I needed to refill the Tiguan and their gas is reasonably priced.

I turned left across the traffic, and noted that there was an oncoming car just down the road, but the speed limit is 35mph, so plenty of room.  Except that he wasn’t doing 35 or anything close to it, so he swerved out of my lane and rocketed past me, shaking his fist (!) as he went by.

I had one of my quiet conversations at that point:  “I’m sorry;  did I make you late for your appointment at the next traffic light?”

As it happened, I didn’t;  but he was right on time for the cop doing the speed trap a block or so away.  So that ended well.

Went into Wal-Mart and got all the necessary things on the list — but before checking out, I stopped by the self-service lottery machine to make my weekly pension contribution.  As any fule kno, these contraptions do not give change, and all I had was a $20.

So I went over to the little in-house bank to get some change, only to be told that they don’t do that kind of thing unless the supplicant has an account with them.  “Well, I don’t have an account with you, and probably won’t ever in the future,” I replied, and went over to the Customer Service Desk.

Only to be told that they cannot open the register drawer unless “there’s a cash transaction”.

Another man may have exploded with rage at this point, but I decided to be a better man than that.  So I went back into the store itself and left my shopping cart in the clothing section, where it wouldn’t be spotted immediately — said shopping cart containing two cartons of expensive ice cream, a quart of yogurt, a frozen pizza and some fresh fruit.

Got into the car and decided to go to my old neighborhood Kroger instead, where everybody knows my name (I’ve been shopping there for well over twenty years, and the only reason I hadn’t gone there in the first place was because it’s about three miles away from the apartment AND it lies on the other side of some serious road repair works).

So I went where everybody knows my name — and where quite a few people know everybody else’s name, to judge from the odd person chatting to another in the parking lot.  Took an old lady’s cart from her just as she’d finished unloading it, getting a grateful “You’re my hero!  Thank you!” which made me feel quite better about my world.

Went into Kroger, got all the stuff I’d left in the cart at Wal-Mart plus a few other impulse items, and went over to the Customer Service Desk’s Jeanelle, who not only gave me change upon request, but got me my lottery tickets from their machine.  (She has a lovely singing voice, by the way:  one of those deep, rich gospel/soul ones, which I’d heard on a previous trip.  She is also one of the few people who has ever tripped me up on musical trivia, in that she knew the correct release date of Stevie Wonder’s album Songs In The Key Of Life.)

Checked out using the self-service aisle (I only go full service if I’ve got a large full cart, and that in the interests of speed), waved good-bye to Angela the supervisor, waved to Debbie the front-end manager on my way out, and after loading up the Tiguan, filled up at the pump using my Kroger Fuel Points (11c off per gallon when buying more than 8 gallons).

Got back home — the ?Buick? was no longer there for me to see what it actually was, so I filed that under “Unimportant Shit” and forgot about it.

Net result of the day:  considerable personal satisfaction (mission accomplished, grocerywise;  watched an asshole get a speeding ticket;  denied Wal-Mart some profit both from an unrealized transaction plus — I hope — some spoiled unsellable foods, as well as having my gas money go to their competitor).

And I got to interact with people that I don’t really know, but had only pleasant experiences with.  On a warm autumn day (no a/c needed in the car) in north Texas.

Not too bad, all things considered.