Among the several things about Modern Life that make me ultra-peevish is this thing about people walking around carrying drinks — water bottles, Yeti flasks, what have you — and I want to ask people (loudly) whether they think they’re going to die of thirst before they can get to the nearest tap or drinking fountain. Mostly, this applies to women, the precious creatures, because Teh Experts tell us that We Must Remain Hydrated, Lest We Die.
Maybe when you’re crossing the fucking Mojave Desert, but not when you’re crossing the street in Dallas or Los Angeles.
However, let it not be said that I’m completely intolerant in this regard. I am prepared, for instance, to make exceptions to my “Stop acting like a camel!” gripe in circumstances such as these:
…although I should also point out that not all women seem to need that oh-so important drink in their hand every time they step outdoors:
…and of course, there are those poor things in obvious need of sustenance:
I mean, I wouldn’t want y’all to think I was that Krool & Hartless, after all.
But in all honesty, if you’re that thirsty, get off the street and find a place to assuage your thirst — and there are many of them, in cities all over the world. Places like these:
It’s really not too much to ask.
