Author: Kim du Toit

News Roundup

Bad News

In other Marketing News:


...first principle of marketing:  if you want people to buy something, tell them they can’t have it.  Known by everyone except politicians and Harvard MBAs.


...following the second principle of marketing:  when you’ve fucked up horribly, bribe your way out of the problem.  Even politicians know this one — they invented it.

From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:


...New York being well known for its warm, temperate winters and abundant electrical supply.


...back in a moment:  I’m just going to borrow Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face.

From the Dept. of Nutrition & Health:


…


...thus preempting Mickey D’s new “Mouseburger” menu item.

From the Dept. of Education:

   …same guy:
  …and related:


...what’s the French for “multi-tasking”?

News in general:


...begging the question:  if there’s no physical strength component, only intellect, then why do Women’s Poker tournaments even exist?


...some scumbag gangbanger, no doubt.  Also:  ask me again why I carry a gun every time I leave the house, when this latest shooting happened in the next town over.


...he could have just shot the beast… oh wait:  Britishland.  Nemmind.

And in INSIGNIFICA:

 


… ...and Austin Powers was unavailable for comment.

Finally:


...who she, you ask?

…and that’s all the news we can sea today.

Disgusting Practice

Food & Drink

Here’s something guaranteed to stick in my craw, so to speak:

WHISKY is one of the world’s most popular spirits – but you might be making a big mistake when you drink it.

A boozy investigation into the beloved spirit revealed how to unlock the best flavor.

It’s all linked to the addition of water to whiskey, which is thought to “open up” its flavor – but don’t go past the 20% mark, because that can make whiskies taste the same.

Yeah, duh.  As any liquid approaches 99% water, it’s going to taste more like water.

I’m more upset with the concept of adding water to whisky.  It’s a disgusting habit, and best left to amateur drinkers.  (I know, I know, “unlocking the flavor”, like the taste in your mouth is somehow inadequate for the process.)

As any fule kno, the proper way to drink whisky (or even “whiskey”) is to drink it neat, with a glass of cold water on the side.

My only concession is — very occasionally — to add ice to the whisky (never to single malt, though) if I don’t want to get too quickly shitfaced.

Yeah, yeah, it’s all A Question Of Taste, and We’re All Different.

Allowing the addition of water to whisky is the thin end of the wedge, and leads eventually to filth like whisky & tonic and transgender acceptance.  You heard it here first.

Contempt

Business, Eco-Crap, Politics, Watermelons

One of my favorite cartoon strips of all time was the late (and much-missed) Johnny Hart’s B.C. series.  The single cartoon which tickled me most when I first read it, maybe forty years ago, was this exchange:

“Oh Great Guru, what is the definition of contempt?”
“Winning the Husband Of The Year Award, and sending your mistress to give your acceptance speech.”

I have a new definition of contempt, and there’s nothing funny about it.  Try this one:

A key lawmaker reacted in disbelief Tuesday when a Biden cabinet official said the climate change agenda took priority over the livelihoods of blue collar workers because “there’s a lot of jobs.”

You have to read the entire exchange to get the full flavor of the contempt that senior government employees people (like this watermelon Deb Haaland) have for the working class.

And we know that they despise the working class even more because they support someone like Donald Trump, who actually does care about blue-collar jobs.  So the Greens get a double win:  ecology “protection” and punishing Trump voters.

How nice for them.

Street Justice

Crime, Law and Order

Of course, when some dangerous asshole tries doing dangerous stuff in public and promptly gets taken down, who else would step up but Mr. Race Hustler himself?

Sharpton: Failure to charge Marine in chokehold death of Jordan Neely will encourage vigilantes

One can only hope.

And no, I don’t care that the asshole was Black, and the hero White.  Asshole is asshole and hero is hero;  had the roles been reversed, I’d be saying exactly the same.

Also:  Semper fi, Marine.