In other Marketing News:
...first principle of marketing: if you want people to buy something, tell them they can’t have it. Known by everyone except politicians and Harvard MBAs.
...following the second principle of marketing: when you’ve fucked up horribly, bribe your way out of the problem. Even politicians know this one — they invented it.
From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:
...New York being well known for its warm, temperate winters and abundant electrical supply.
...back in a moment: I’m just going to borrow Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face.
From the Dept. of Nutrition & Health:
…
...thus preempting Mickey D’s new “Mouseburger” menu item.
From the Dept. of Education:
…same guy:
…and related:
...what’s the French for “multi-tasking”?
News in general:
...begging the question: if there’s no physical strength component, only intellect, then why do Women’s Poker tournaments even exist?
...some scumbag gangbanger, no doubt. Also: ask me again why I carry a gun every time I leave the house, when this latest shooting happened in the next town over.
...he could have just shot the beast… oh wait: Britishland. Nemmind.
And in INSIGNIFICA:
…
...and Austin Powers was unavailable for comment.
Finally:
...who she, you ask?
…and that’s all the news we can sea today.
Isn’t the French phrase for multitasking, menage a trois?
JQ
“…what’s the French for “multi-tasking”?”
Le multi-tasking.
Don’t say that in France. The government agency in charge of keeping the language pure would probably throw you in jail for not using their preferred 100% French* phrase instead.
*French = the hybrid of Latin and Frankish German spoken in Paris. All the other dialects don’t count.
“a town called Dildo” actually exists. It is on the east side of Spread Eagle Bay.
That is in Newfoundland for those who think that our editor merely forgot to use font sarcastic.