Author: Kim du Toit

News Roundup

Bad News

And off we go, like a slut’s panties:


...hands up, those of you who think this task force won’t fix a damn thing:

…oh, all of you, huh?


...wrong headline.  The proper premise is:  where the hell are those billions coming from?


...that’s just Trump being his narcissistic asshole self.

Some good news, for a change:


...anything that prevents the distribution of that foul-tasting shit is A Good Thing.

News from the Mass Assimilation Project:


...but you assholes are still going to vote him back into power, so who cares.


...ditto for this clueless harlot and her equally-clueless NY voters.

From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©:


...and the citizens’ response should be:

Speaking of people who need a ride on Air Pinochet:


...of course you didn’t.  That was Hunter’s job, you corrupt motherfucker.

In the Kingdom Of Wokedom:


...LOL and it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of preening, self-righteous shitheads.


...that’ll teach you to recruit marketing staff from Anheuser-Busch.

In INSIGNIFICA (a.k.a. “How does this bullshit qualify as news?”):

   

...poor kid.  Imagine being born into that celebrity whores’ nest.

And in Celebrity News:

  

Yeah, I remember Lisa back when she was a youthful hottie:

And that’s it for the news.

Stupid Argument

Business, Celebrities, Two-Minute Hate

Loath as I would ever be to bestow any kind of acknowledgment to the Ginger Whinger’s Duchess CaringSlut, on this issue I am firmly on her side.

The Duchess of Sussex once wore diamonds grown in a lab on a royal jaunt, but jeweller Eddie LeVian is not impressed. 

‘I’m concerned people think it’s the same as a diamond,’ he tells me at the Tower of London, where his brand Le Vian hosted a show. ‘It’s misleading.’

Of course, he makes his livelihood pimping overpriced rocks for the ghastly De Beers diamond criminal cartel, so of course he would sniff at “man-made” diamonds as not being “the real thing” — although they actually are.  Even if they were grown in a clean laboratory somewhere instead of having been hauled out of the ground by child laborers in Africa, their chemical composition, their hardness and appearance make them real diamonds, absolutely indistinguishable from their bloody African cousins.

Which of course makes the diamond industry quake in their expensive handmade boots, because it means the end of their tidy little cartel which has established itself by dint of creating an artificial shortage through the imposition of “controls” mostly illegal — ask yourself why De Beers doesn’t have an office in the United States (RICO coff coff ).  And gawd forbid that diamonds should be priced at even semi-precious levels rather than as the horribly-overpriced geegaws they are.

So while the Duchess Formerly Known As Third Actress From The Right may well have worn said manufactured gems because of Evil Child Labor Exploitation — not actually a bad reason, for once — the fact remains that all the pouting about the diamonds being fake is being driven, as always, by the greed and self-preservation instincts of the fucking awful diamond industry.

Who are far, far worse a cancer on society than the Markle creature could ever be, try as she may.

One More Kindred Spirit

Funny Stuff, Good Stuff, Old Fartism

My loathing for seagulls has been well documented (here, for example), so when I saw this little snippet, I was mightily pleased, oh yes I was:

A blue plaque has been installed to commemorate a man made famous – for swearing at seagulls.

The honour was cheekily bestowed on Huw Davies – who was renowned for shooing the pesky birds away with expletives.

Huw, from Aberystwyth in Wales, was previously honored with a joke plaque on his favourite bench when he passed away.

And the new one (which is not as funny because OMG swearwords doubleplusungood):

I wish that I could achieve such fame, for so trivial a cause.

I suspect that

Kim du Toit
Used to sit here and shout
FUCK OFF!!! at authority figures

would be tripleplusungood, even though it’s a very accurate summation of my lifelong attitude.

But yet, we persevere.

Boats, Floating Thereof, Whatever

Men & Women

Here’s a happy little tale of how a couple decided to jump the gun, so to speak:

A couple have revealed that the secret to their happy and strong relationship is allowing each other to sleep with other people. Zoe Grey, 31 and her partner Matt, 36, live together in Cambridgeshire with the four children they have between them. Former soldier Matt, who had been cheated on by previous partners, initiated the conversation with Zoe about starting an open relationship. Keen to experiment [I bet she was — K.], Zoe agreed, and she admits she’s never been in a healthier relationship.  “There is so much trust between us. The fact we can have fun with other people eliminates the worry of cheating, lying, and sneaking around. The connection we have together is so strong, and our relationship is so solid.”

Then:

Zoe continued: “After a couple of months of doing this, I told Matt that I also wanted him to have fun with other women and let me know about it, and now we have a fully open relationship and have fun with other people together. At first, he was shocked that I wanted him to do it too. It was alien territory for him, and he was nervous when we first went to a club, but now we have the most amazing relationship and we are happier than we have ever been.”

There was a time when I would have got all bent out of shape by stuff like this, but as the title of this post indicates, I don’t care anymore,

My prediction, however, is that this little menage-à-plusieurs  is going to end in tears, and the four kids are the ones who will end up suffering — all so that their feckless parents can fuck other people without guilt.

In the interests of full disclosure, however, here are a few pics of said sexual explorers:

Quite a banging [sic]  bod for someone who’s popped four sprogs… but then again, the real question arises:

Why do people have to advertise life choices like this to all and sundry?  Couldn’t they just have gone on in private with none being the wiser?

But no:  I guess this is par for the course among the Tik-Tok attention-seeking generation of Millennials these days. More’s the pity.

The Seven Wonders

Good Stuff

Sparked by Idiot Joe Biden’s yammering about the “nine” wonders of the world, I put it to you, O my Readers:

What would YOU consider to be the modern-day Seven Wonders of the World?

Some parameters:

  • no natural stuff e.g the Grand Canyon;  the original Seven were man-made, e.g. Hanging Gardens, Colossus of Rhodes etc., so only man-made stuff should be considered
  • you don’t have to rank them, that’s too difficult not to say irrelevant
  • for the purposes of this exercise, let’s say that “modern” is anything  built or made since 1900
  • longevity is not important;  most of the original Seven Wonders have long since disappeared

In case anyone’s wondering or forgotten, the original Seven Wonders of the Ancient World were:  the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Colossus of Rhodes, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Temple of Artemis, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.  Today, we would call them “tourist attractions” — i.e. things worth traveling to see.

However, times have changed, and what with construction and engineering techniques making structures less awe-inspiring a task than before (not to mention fugly, e.g. London’s Shard), let’s not confine ourselves to structures, and include things like the jet engine, penicillin or the Internet — stuff that would make a time-traveling visitor from (say) 1860 go “Whoa!”.

Have at it in Comments.  My own opinions are below the fold, so as not to influence anyone.

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