Easy Temptation

Crime

Here’s one that made me think for a bit:

Florida Charter Captain Busted For Allegedly Trying to Sell Cocaine He Found at Sea

What at first appeared to be a floating treasure may have turned into a career-sinking criminal case for a Florida Keys charter boat captain arrested this week for allegedly trying to sell cocaine he found at sea.

Bradford Todd Picariello, 65, of Marathon, Florida, was arrested Monday after allegedly selling a kilogram of cocaine for $10,000 to undercover detectives, according to a statement released Tuesday by the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office.

That’s not even the half of it. The captain allegedly said he had more. Lots more.

If ever I came across a “windfall” that involved questionable merchandise, I know for a fact that the very first time I tried to offload any of it, the potential buyer would turn out to be a cop, of some flavor or other.  That’s because I would be, and am, a complete naïf  in matters of criminality, and in such a situation I would be the easiest capture in law enforcement history.

But that’s not what made me think.

I used to know a guy who farmed on a tiny piece of land — something like a hundred acres, if memory serves — somewhere in northern Indiana.  I don’t recall exactly where it was, but I do know that it was only reachable by dirt roads.  Easily accessible, it wasn’t.

Anyway, he and I were chatting about the problems of farming, that almost every year brought a good chance of financial ruin, and I asked him what crop would be the most profitable, then.

“Weed.”
“What?”
“Yup, weed.”  And then came the killer:  “About three rows would do it.”

Then we got to discussing how he’d sell it and still stay under the  DEI  DEA radar*;  and without going into details, it would have been astonishingly easy.

Financial security for him and his family, for a lousy three rows of weed.

For our luckless charter captain, the money and therefore the temptation was too great.  But small-scale larceny?

I couldn’t do it.  But I’m pretty damn sure a lot of people would jump at the chance — and I don’t mean people of the career-criminal / gangster ilk.  No, I’m talking about pillars of the community, ordinarily law-abiding in all things.

And I have to tell you, I’m not at all sure how I feel about that.

*Thankee for the correction, guys.  And thankee, cold meds, for your input.   (I’m amazed I can write anything at the moment.)

20 comments

  1. “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”

    Sometimes things are “worth their weight in gold”, in this case, the man’s catch was worth its weight in BOOGER SUGAR.

  2. I lived in West-By-God-Virginia for 5 years. A buddy advised me that if hunting public land and I come across what looks to be a small marijuana field, to very slowly retrace my path backwards (in case of booby traps) and then walk away. Far away. Apparently those honest and law abiding people are smart enough not to grow it on their own land. They plant little sections in hard to reach public lands and then booby trap it, put up trail cams, and then harvest it when done. #1 cash crop in a state dominated by mountains. Same state where WalMart is the largest employer.

    Let’s face it, all taxation is theft. But that teenage kid, mowing yards for cash money and not paying taxes? Breaking the law. The guy I hired to rebuild my fence and offering a “discount” if I paid in cash? Also breaking the law. Decent and honest people all around are not above cheating the govt of a little tax money. Because fuck the govt, that’s why. That’s not a lot different from growing pot, isn’t it? Because now that most states have legalized, the real crime is not paying taxes on it.

    I probably wouldn’t grow pot myself, only because of the fricking hassle. But I wouldn’t necessary rat out someone who was.

    1. I lived in South Central Kentucky for Jr High and High School. Our county’s northwestern border was defined by a very long TVA lake. The TVA owned all of the lakefront property and there was a lot of weed grown on that land. We did have a neighbor who tried to grow weed intermixed with tomato plants. The DEA did an overflight and picked the plants up on infrared. The county sheriff, the State Police and the DEA descended on his farm like the hand of doom.

  3. Long term user (weed) here, but not for the past 15+ years.
    Why?
    It’s illegal.
    And.
    Even though we moved here (southern Indiana) 20 years ago I have no “connections”, like I did when I lived in Florida.

    If it was legal to grow here, I’d immediately install a small (20’x20′) all season Greenhouse and get to it. Just for personal consumption. I’d grow fruits and vegs in it too. And maybe a tub of Tilapia fishes, again, for consumption.

    I have a friend in Oregon that grows 3 plants every year (legal) and he gets about (60) 1 ounce bags from it, enough to last a year (stores it in the freezer). Sounds good to me. If I could smoke weed legally I’d probably never buy alcohol again. A buzz is always better than a guzz.

  5. I used to work in social services for the state and on occasion saw people throw it all away for pathetic amounts of money. A civil service job is great, steady money, benefits and retirement and folks would piss it away to steal a few dollars or a laptop or keep making personal long distance phone calls on the job phone. The biggest haul I heard of was some guy in headquarters found a way of stealing over a 100 k in funds. He lost his job, his house, his family and went to prison. Side note, I know that over 30 years ago daycares were playing loose with their subsidized day care billing. A foster kid would move to a new area and we couldnt start daycare because the old daycare was still billing.

  6. He’s probably lucky he was arrested by undercover agents. If the “owners” of said product ever found out he was trying to profit off of their loss, I’m sure the consequences would have been far worse than jail.

  7. arent packages of Columbian nose candy also called “finless whites?” 28 unifite is right. however, the owners of the drugs can probably get to Captain BoogerSuger while he is in jail and his family.

    Finding cash is probably untraceable. Trying to sell illegal stuff to people in a market you don’t know is utterly foolish.

    1. I guess this fisherman missed the memo that SQUARE GROUPER floating in the ocean is NOT legal as the catch of the day.

  8. The “3 rows” story reminds me of the old Bloom County strip. A senator is visiting a farmer in his field, expressing sympathy for how hard his life must be. Farmer says he’s doing just fine. Senator admires his field of corn, but farmer replies, “Taint corn, it’s dope. Take a few pounds home to the wife.”

  9. At least this captain followed the advice from Scarface

    “Don’t get high in your own supply”

    Basically. If your doing drugs you won’t be a successful dealer

    And if you’re dealing drugs you won’t be a successful user.

  10. Well, I wouldn’t sell found coke or anything like that. But if I found a small bale of weed, oh hell, yeah, that’s coming with me. Figure out a secure way to hide most of it with plausible deniability and secure, hidden access, and I’d never have to risk buying any again. Which I haven’t in 33 years except a few times when I’ve been in a state where it’s legal for anybody.

    A friend at UF 2/3 of a lifetime ago had a t-shirt that had “Nuke the whales” on the front, and “Save the bales” on back, with appropriate illustrations.

  11. its a tricky thought experiment.

    I wouldn’t know how to off-load the product. I’d for sure as hell get caught. I’d also get sideways with the morality of the issue…………….but…………..I’d be sorely tempted.

  12. “And I have to tell you, I’m not at all sure how I feel about that.”

    To dissipate the feeling of guilt you just have to remember the people holding the leash of the people who would arrest you are way bigger fucking criminals than you’ll ever be and will never be arrested for it.

  13. I’ve got 70 acres. Part of my land is hidden away, the only way someone would find my patch would be if they already knew about it and were looking for it. But losing my entire property makes it not worth it.
    Now, the very wooded paper mill land about 50 yards away, that temptation is good for a drink and think “what if” session ever so often, but even then, the risk is too high. They lease that land to hunters, a group who is largely represented by conservative, law abiding types, one or 20 of whom might find my patch, inform the fuzz (if they aren’t badged folks themselves), and put up cameras, which would catch my dumb, pasty white face tending my crops, and same result. Plus, as Kim mentioned, I wouldn’t know what to do with it once I had it. Since I don’t partake because, job, just growing a few for personal use isn’t interesting to me.
    So, it remains a pipe dream, like nailing Sidney Sweeney. Not gonna happen, but don’t tell the bottle of Jergens.

  14. Back in the 70’s, during the Mexican paraquat scare, a school mate found a bale of mexican red washed up in Georgia. Nobody would buy it so he started giving it away. Most of the high school was smoking that crap for free for the school year and into the summer. Small school as I had a graduating class of 40.

  15. I just had a good (or very bad) idea.
    Cocanine IS actually legal in the US for medical use, mostly as a topical anesthetic. Merick, for example, is one of the Phama companies that process it.
    Let’s just make it legal to sell cocaine to Merick, regardless of the source. Likely at a deep discount conpared to the “street” value, but still out to be worth a good bit.
    This would have worked for the CHarter Captain, and if the FedGov ever follows through with the Letters of Marque concept they recently suggested then the cargos of those seized ships could also be put to legitimate use and to the profit of the finders, not the Cartels.

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