The Comrades Lose Control

I’ve been ranting about this issue for about as long as the nonsense first appeared with software-dependent cars.  Now it seems as though it’s for real:

Hundreds of Russian Porsche owners have found their cars immobilized across the country, amid fears of deliberate satellite interference. 

Drivers have complained that their vehicles have suddenly locked up, lost power and refused to start, as owners and dealerships warn of a growing wave of failures that has left hundreds of vehicles stuck in place.

The nationwide meltdown hit Porsche models built since 2013, which are all fitted with the brand’s factory vehicle tracking system (VTS) satellite-security unit. 

The vehicles have been ‘bricked’ with their engines immobilized, due to connections with the satellite system being lost. 

Okay:  leaving aside the paranoia concerns — it’s the Daily Mail, of course there was going to be some panic warning — let’s just go with the system failure (regardless of cause) that causes one’s normally-reliable car to quit working.

I know I’m not the only person in the world who regards this “development” as creepy and worrisome.  The fact that some situation could occur that renders one’s possession useless makes me deeply apprehensive.

As I said earlier, whether the immobilization was a factor of technology fail or else of some malignant third party is unimportant.

Note that this VTS thing is touted as a “security” feature — i.e. one that lessens the effect of the car being tampered with or stolen, a dubious benefit at best — and this supposed security guards against another feature (keyless or remote start) that seems to be all the rage among today’s cars, for no real reason that I can ascertain.  In other words, car manufacturers have made it easier to steal their cars, and then have to come up with yet another feature that can negate that situation.

While some drivers were told to try a simple workaround by disconnecting their car batteries for at least 10 hours, others were advised to disable or reboot the Vehicle Tracking System, known as the VTS, which is linked to the alarm module.

Some owners have been stranded for days waiting for on-site diagnostics, tow trucks or emergency technicians.

There are reports of Russians resorting to ‘home-brew’ fixes – ripping out connectors, disconnecting batteries overnight, even dismantling the alarm module. 

A few cars were revived after 10 hours without power, but others remained immobilized.

And they call this “improvement”?

By the way, it’s not just Porsche, of course.

Last year, MPs in the United Kingdom were warned that Beijing could remotely stop electric cars manufactured in China, as relations between the two nations deteriorated. 

The previous year, lawmakers cautioned that tracking devices from China had been found in UK government vehicles. 

Yeah duh, because China is asshoe.

As for Porsche, this makes me realize why their older, non-VTS-equipped models are fetching premium prices in the second-hand market.  I mean:

300 grand for an ’87 911?  Are you kidding me?  (Yeah, I know it’s been fully restored at a cost of about $50 grand — but even taking twice that amount off the asking price would still leave you with a $200 grand ask, which is ridiculous.  No wonder the vintage sports car market is starting to tank.)

But at least this 911 isn’t going to stop working every time there’s a meteor shower, or whenever some controlling remote entity decides that you’ve been driving it too fast or too much.

It’s a fucking nightmare.  And we’ve allowed it to happen.