Crowdstrike, Cloudburst

I remember having a discussion with one of my executive buddies a while back, talking about this whole business of shoving IT up into the “Cloud” and away from in-house (local) processing.  My buddy, (who is still very active in business) stated that he would never, ever do that because of control concerns;  I went even further and said that were I the CEO of a corporation and an executive even suggested such an action to me, I’d fire him on the turn.

Here’s the reason for my intransigence, and it’s a topic I’ve banged on about before:  the allure of “convenience” without caring about (or intentionally disregarding) the risk of vulnerability.  Here’s an example in a microcosm.

Back in the late 1980s and early 1990s we still did a lot of paper printing, as email communication of large files and documents was beyond the ability of most systems to accomplish large-scale dissemination.  At the same time, though, systems were changing from stand-alone processing into networked systems, and the most obvious of these was in the area of shared printers (as opposed to each workstation having its own printer).

Of course, IT was all over the networked printing principle because, as one clueless IT person told me, “we only have to maintain and service one printer as opposed to dealing with several, so it’s more productive” — confusing, as I pointed out to him, their convenience with the user’s needs.

What, I asked him, was the point of sharing a single device when there’s a traffic jam of users waiting around the printer for their job to clear the queue?  How productive was that, in the corporate sense, when one service technician would save time while half a dozen other workers were doing nothing?  And even worse, of course, was the prospect of the printer failing altogether (for whatever reason), causing everybody to sit on their hands while the machine was being fixed or having its ink cartridge replaced;  how productive was that scenario?

As I was beating my head against a corporate brick wall, I did what I normally do in such circumstances:  I declared unilateral independence.  I bought myself one of those HP500 inkjet printers (and black-ink cartridges) out of my own pocket and remained outside the system altogether, to the consternation of IT.  (My boss, bless him, told them to go and fuck themselves — those exact words — when they asked him to strong-arm me into compliance.)

Then over the following six months I monitored the network printer activity and catalogued all the times it went down, then calculated the net cost to departmental productivity, and presented my findings to Management at our next inter-departmental meeting.  (Basically, if the five largest users of the printers in our department had each had their own HP500, the department would have saved literally thousands of dollars in lost productivity.  In fact, it would have been a zero-sum decision to equip each of those users with their own laser printer, never mind a cheapie HP500, and left “casual” printing — memos, etc. — on the network.)

I won the battle and lost the war, because IT took its revenge on me from then on by slow-walking all my projects — and I did a lot of those — through the system, using the “limited resources” argument because, I admit, my projects were resource intensive.

It did not help matters when personal computers came along.  Of course, I was the first one to get one (out of my own pocket, again), enabling me to do a huge amount of developmental work independently of IT.  The head of IT came into my office and asked me to give him a demonstration of my PC.  I agreed to do it, but only after inviting my boss to sit in.  Then I ran one of my routines on the PC and we sat for about ten minutes waiting for it to process.  Of course, the IT guy sneered at the pace of the process, saying that the mainframe could have done the same job in seconds.

I then pointed out to my boss that the last time I had submitted an identical job through IT, I’d eventually got the output some three days later.  (And yes, I had the documentation to substantiate it.)

My boss, bless him again, asked me if I could set up a PC for him because he too was sick of waiting for his jobs to get back to him.

A week later, Management received a proposal from IT to set up dumb terminals in all our offices so that we users would not have to become our own computer programmers.  It was accepted by all the department managers except mine, who had in the interim found room in the budget to buy PCs for all the account executives, and tasked me with developing and delivering the necessary training.  (I outsourced it to a buddy’s training company because I had things called “clients” who had greater need of my time.)

Anyway, I told you all that so I could talk about this.

You see, apart from any talk of productivity and convenience, the dirty little downside to Cloud-based single-source processing is that having a single source also means that there is an enormous risk when any bad actor or even incompetent actor (such as in the above case) gets to access the whole show.  Single source also means incredibly-dangerous universal failure scenarios.

Ask the airlines, banks and hospitals affected by the above.  And incidentally, state vehicle inspections in our area of north Texas were also affected in that their inspection equipment failed to operate — and the operators didn’t bother coming into work because why should they?  And even when the systems did start working again, there was still a delay while the operators came back from their absence — machines and systems working:  nobody to operate them.

As I discovered two days ago when I took my car in to be inspected, at two different locations hereabouts.

Now scroll back up and re-read the first paragraph of this post.

Just Like Guns, Eh Bill?

From Cloud-Cuckoo Land, where unicorns are a common sight:

Speaking in London this week, Bill Gates called AI a ‘wonderful’ technology that can save humans from climate change and disease.

But he warned that it needs to be used ‘by people with good intent’, as it could be used by criminals ‘engaged in cyber attacks or political interference’.

Yeah, for “A.I.” read guns — well, except that he’s a well-known gun control advocate (except when it comes to his security detail, probably).  And the parallel doesn’t end there:

Gates, one of the 10 richest humans in the world, said: ‘The defence has to be smarter than the offence.’

He may be one of the richest, but he sure as hell isn’t one of the smartest.  (Hell, he buys into the “climate change” bullshit — an infallible indicator of dumbassery right there.)

Stick to Windows, Bill.  Gawd knows it needs help.

As for defense:

As If I Needed Another

…reason not to install the latest “upgrade” from Windoze:  here it is.

Microsoft will soon begin pushing adverts into the Start Menu of Windows 11 with the inclusion of ‘recommended’ apps.

And why not?  It’s where users are at their most vulnerable, so to speak:  right at the beginning of the process.  It’s like starting your car, but before the engine fires, you first have to listen to a 15-second advert for “recommended” tires, Bud Lite or windshield washer fluid.  But of course, it’s being pushed as a helpful benefit:

Microsoft says the ads are aimed to enable users to find ‘some of the great apps that are available’.

That’s Microsoft all over:  just trying to be helpful, as is someone who will pass you a bucket of lighter fluid instead of water when you’re trying to put out a house fire.

Although the update [KB5036980] is currently optional, it will soon roll out to all Windows devices within the coming weeks.

Of course it will — coercion is one of Microsoft’s major strengths.  But:

Luckily, there is an easy way to turn off the pesky adverts with a simple change to your device settings.

Luckily.  Until that feature too is disabled in future “updates”, depending on how much blast-back Microsoft gets from customers — not that they’ve ever paid much heed to that in the past, unless the storm of protest was overwhelming.

I have generally made it my personal policy to skip generations of Windows OS — I never used Win 9, for example, going from 8 to 10, and then only because someone I trusted not only chided me but actually forced me to make that change, having to do it himself because I flatly refused to do so.  (Thanks, Dan.)  And I was only able to have him do that because I was a house guest at the time.  Unfortunately, he lives about two states away from me so I won’t be able to do that again this time.

And in any event, I’m going to get this fucking “feature” when I get my replacement PC* later in the year.  Let’s hope there really is an “easy way” to turn the thing off, or else the laptop’s durability will be sorely tested as it slams into the opposite wall.  (My new apartment doesn’t overlook the pool this time, so the laptop’s waterproofing will not be called upon.)


*In response to my earlier woes, several Readers sent me their older laptops to try to help me out — and thank you, every one — but I was never able to make them work for me, even with considerable input from Daughter, who is a pro at this kind of thing.  Sadly, it’s a new one I’ll be getting, or else I’ll just go back to using my older Dell which, although slower than a carthorse on downers, is at least still capable of closing without needing engineering manipulation of the Rubik Cube degree.

“The Name’s Backless; Green Backless”

As the totalitarians / utilitarians / technology-worshipers in our midst try to push us evermore towards a cashless society, we see situations like this occur, this time in Britishland:

The IT meltdowns suffered by Sainsbury’s and Tesco highlight the dangers of relying on cashless payments which puts our society ‘at risk’, experts have warned.

On Saturday morning, Sainsbury’s experienced a ‘technical issue’ which created chaos for thousands of people on one of the busiest shopping days of the week.

The supermarket chain cancelled online orders and couldn’t accept contactless payments – so shoppers either had to pay in cash, or scramble to try and remember their PIN.

While people desperately queued to use nearby ATMs, the dramatic uptick in cash withdrawal meant many of the machines ran out.

Many loyal shoppers turned to rival chain Tesco – it also experienced issues with online orders, with a small proportion being cancelled.

By the way, you don’t have to be an “expert” to see the inherent dangers of over-reliance on technology;  you just have to be aware of the old maxim that to err is human, but to really fuck things up you need a computer.  And we’ve all been there.

Nor am I a conspiracy theorist, but at the same time the odds of a “technology meltdown” occurring in the UK’s two largest supermarket chains at the same time are, wouldn’t you say, rather alarming.

In another context, if the flight guidance systems malfunctioned simultaneously in both United Airlines and Air France — two unrelated corporations — there’d be all sorts of alarm and governmental enquiry commissions, not to mention screaming panic in the headlines.

Nor would the scenario of malignant agency be simply dismissed as paranoia — but here we are, where people can’t buy food for their families because of a “meltdown”.

You’d think that we’d have learned this little lesson during the previous lockdown, where all sorts of nonsense happened because “everyday life” was dislocated.

But we haven’t.

Just wait till Ford and Mercedes together experience “system failure” in their driverless car fleets…

Technology can be our friend, and often is.  But over-reliance on technology means it often isn’t.  Remember, the acronym MTBF (mean time between failures) is often used for reassurance, but it also presupposes the existence of failure.

Like what happened at Sainsbury and Tesco — simultaneously.


Update:  And now Greggs, too.

Interesting Purchase

Well now, lookee here:

Today, Walmart and VIZIO announced they have entered into an agreement for Walmart to acquire VIZIO for $11.50 per share in cash, equating to a fully diluted equity value of approximately $2.3 billion.

Why would Walmart buy a TV manufacturer?  As RedState’s Brad Slager notes (with my emphasis):

Walmart currently stands as the largest retailer for Vizio products, but this buyout has less to do with the retail side of things. The store chain is eyeing its expansion opportunity through Vizio’s smart TV platform. The intention is for Walmart to step up and become more of a direct competitor with Roku, Amazon, and YouTube in the direct-marketing arena, intending to leverage Vizio’s OS through its built-in television apps.

Hey, the more the merrier (paraphrasing Milton Friedman, talking about free-market capitalism).

Just as long as Walmart doesn’t pee in the soup and prevent Vizio owners from choosing between the various vendors like Roku et al. by locking them out of Vizio sets.  That would be a Bad Thing.

I can’t see why they’d do that,because this would just mean that consumers just wouldn’t buy Vizio TVs — I certainly wouldn’t under those circumstances — but as we often see, giant corporations are as prone to fucking up as any other business.