Mispronunciation

Grammar Nazism

Just for the hell of it, I’m going to dive into the murky waters of proper pronunciation of words, using this stupid article as a kick-off:

Experts from Unscramblerer.com have revealed the UK’s most mispronounced words.

‘Our research about the most searched for mispronunciations gives an interesting insight into United Kingdom’s culture,’ a spokesperson for the site explained.

‘Exposure to new words through media, music, pop culture and social platforms drives curiosity.

‘People often look up pronunciations if there is a gap between how a word or name is spelled and how it sounds.’

Yeah, well if we’re talking about actual English, fair enough.  But then the idiotic writer lists a few words that aren’t actually English but Gaelic, and they’re names withal — which means I don’t care if I’m mispronouncing them.  (If people want to foist on their children names that contain more vowels than consonants, or vice-versa, they should either stay in their home country or accept the fact that outside fucking Ireland, nobody will know how to pronounce Naimh, Saoirse, Eowyn or Aoife.)

I think David Mitchell has the right idea.

Even better is that when it comes to foreign words used in English, the article contains one egregious example of silliness.  I refer here to the word “gyro”, which according to the DM is supposed to be pronounced “yee-roh” — except that it isn’t.  The proper pronunciation is “chee-ro”, the soft ch consonant pronounced as in the Scottish word for lake, loch  (and not lock, either).  I will confess to using yeeroh  on occasion, but only because the person to whom I’m speaking may not know what the hell I’m talking about, and the essence of communication is that the other person can understand what you’re saying.

And I don’t want to talk about gyros anymore, because just the thought of that peppery grilled lamb meat stuck in a soft (never crispy — that’s Mexican) pita bread with tzatziki sauce and tomato makes me want to eat a dozen of them.  (Back in my pro musician days in Johannesburg, there was a little Mediterranean snack bar called the Paradise Restaurant which sold said delicacies on a 24-hour basis and which were my staple after-gig food.  Great Caesar’s aching stomach, how I miss them.)

Where was I?  Oh yeah, pronunciation.

Until quite recently, I didn’t even know what this “acai” stuff was;  I thought it was some kind of vegan shit.  Also, “Qatar” is some oily Muzzie shithole that one flies through en route* to somewhere decent, so I don’t give a rat’s ass how it’s “properly” pronounced.

And if you don’t know how to say the word “spaghetti” then you shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

*that’s “ahn root” and not “ehn rowt”, you fucking peasants.

 

10 comments

  2. Around Dee-troit, we’uns pronounce gyro as yee-ro, with the r slightly rolled. Actually thats what the folks working in the mideast restaurants say. The further I get from there the more likely it is that I have to tell the waitress I want a jii-ro or gii-ro.

  4. These kinds of problems are bound to crop up in English, because it’s not really a language. It’s about half a dozen languages in a horse costume pretending to be a giraffe.

  5. 1. Here in the Chicago area I’ve usually heard it pronounced “yiroe”, thanks for the correct pronunciation, Kim.
    2. I used to know a guy who didn’t like it whan I called it a Croissant (kwa-sohn). He said it was just a cresent roll with an attitude. I told him a piece of bread can’t have an attitude, he was the one with the attitude.
    3. Don’t give your kid a name that can’t be pronounced correctly outside of the country it originated in. Saorise Roana is the best example of that. That and some of the pseudo-african names (usually ending with “a”) african-american mothers come up with for their daughters.

  8. I’m not Irish, nor have I ever been there, but there’s an Irish “reaction/testing things out” channel that I’ve enjoyed watching for several years now and through that exposure I’ve learned a few things…..

    Naimh – Neev (a cast member on that channel has this name)
    Saoirse – Seer-shuh (The actress Saoirse Ronan is where I learned this one)
    Eowyn – not sure on this one, but I think it’s like “Owen”
    Aoife – ee-fuh (another occasional cast member)

    It’s a fun channel, and their “alcohol tests” are especially fun. This is one of the more fun ones, since it introduced us to the stunningly gorgeous Ciara O’Doherty and her ability to drink like, well.. the Irish….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsUtcrQ7M0c

  9. I was just chuckling (chuckle-ing?) along until I got to ‘*that’s “ahn root” and not “ehn rowt”, you fucking peasants’ – then I sprayed coffee all over my lap and keyboard.

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