Better than Scotch? I think not. But anyway:
...give us a zip code for the impact area. Oh, you can’t? Never mind then.
And in Business News:
...anyone seen what happened to their stock price recently? Yeah, it went back up to January 2024 levels.
...and guess what? It’s the only part of Microsoft’s code that actually works as intended.
...because it’s a well-known fact that innovation thrives under a monopoly.
#FuckingLiar
In Police Files:
...what happened to “terminating” or “prosecuting”?
...not a bad start. Eleven hundred down, eleventy millions to go.
And in Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© news:
...and in other news, the funeral for Irony will be held on Friday. And still on the topic of Cute Lil’ Animules:
...”horror moment”? How about “amidst mocking cheers and laughter”?
...missing from the headline: “Following massive bush fires which destroyed the koalas’ entire food supply and severely burned most of them…”
And in Sex Wars:
...I bet she can differentiate them better than you can, fairy Boy.
...which would be unremarkable except for the fact that Our Wayne was born in Liverpool and played for Manchester United for well over a decade.
And now [drum roll]… 
And as we stroll down 
:
World Cup’s hottest fan looks unrecognizable with dramatic new look as she wears bold F1-themed bra to Miami Grand Prix
...don’t know who she is? Well, here we see her at the Miami GP:
...and here she was at the World Cup:
Gives us a whole new perspective on the word “streetwalker”, huh?
I recently talked to someone who owns a wind turbine and asked about bird deaths: she said that the birds were far too intelligent to get killed.
Is it just me or does that lassie look a lot like Phoebe Cates?
Q,
It is just you. Phoebe comes up short (so to speak) by about 6″ in height and a dozen cup sizes.
I’ve never got as far as the face, so I’m not qualified to address that similarity.
I think he’s considering her performance in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”
She wore a bikini in that pool scene, and that bikini likely had more padding than the budget for USAID.
“ Horror moment idiotic tourist is savaged by 15ft crocodile
after climbing into beast’s cage to pose for selfies”
Poor little croc. It’s sure to get food poisoning.