And in this, the (extended) 300th(!) News Roundup, a segue:
From our Dear Leader:
...has anyone told him that the Covidiocy is over?
...probably for the best — he’d only fuck things up irretrievably by referring to Belgium as “Germany”.
And in other LGBTOSTFU News:
...doesn’t matter because nobody watches women’s tennis. Might as well let giraffes play, as well.
In the Dept. of (In)Justice files:
...so can we expect Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden to be indicted soon, for precisely the same offense as Trump is supposed to have committed?
...yeah, but she’s a Democrat. Forgive me for sounding cynical.
In ShowBiz! News:
...never mind, Disney will cast Amy Schuler as Jack Sparrow in the next episode, and all will be well. Also:
...”accidentally”.
...he’s been a total tool for over forty years; why should he change now? And speaking of tools:
...please adjust your target coordinates accordingly, because he’s worse than Daddy.
...just another feather in the cap of the Biden administration’s foreign policy (see: Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, etc.).
From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:
...EVERYBODY PANIC!!!! Or not.
From the Dept. of Child Molestation Education:
...looking at the next Teacher Of The Year, here.
...that’s nice of you, but it’s not going to forestall the hangings. And speaking of people to be hanged:
...mind the step, Fatboi.
And in your favorite INSIGNIFICA:
...and if anyone actually understands what any of that means, you need to get a life. Also: “Snoochie” sounds like a euphemism for a lady’s love tunnel.
And finally:
...”incredible” being the mot juste. Honestly, if Salma isn’t the sexiest woman alive, then she’s #1(a). Or the rating criteria are totally screwed up.
It’s a fine way to end the 300th Roundup, anyway.
