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Gratuitous Chick Pics

A whole bunch — at least a dozen of you — wrote to me with the excellent news that Salma Hayek has no intention of ending her stream of bikini pics, all taken during the Wuhan Panic Festival of 2020.

I’m assuming they are of this genre:

However, I have also received the occasional missive from people (men, I think) who do not share my fondness for full-figured women.  (I know, they’re to be pitied, but whatever.)

So in order to prove that this here back porch is a Big Tent, so to speak, here are a couple of skinnier women who can also wear a bikini, e.g. Liz Hurley:

…Lottie Moss: 
…Karen Gillan: 

…Amanda Holden:

…Kimberley Garner:

…and so on.  I hope you fans of the A-cup are satisfied.

News Roundup

Bad News

With commentary briefer than this bikini bottom:

When you’ve quite finished…


…just in case these pricks haven’t frightened enough people.


…what they mean is:  don’t have sex.  Talking to a couple thousand good-looking youngsters all by themselves, in peak physical condition;  yep, that’s going to work.


…yes, because if prices rise, people buy less.  Only fools and MBAs (some overlap) think that increasing prices will boost sales.


…


…yeah:  syphilis. gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, no problem.  But the WuFlu?  Outta here, bitches.


…I might have fallen in love with her, until I saw her face.  Key word:  Manchester.


…oh he can’t be dangerous… look, they even gave him a name.  Wales wins again.


…to be yet the latest product to see sales drop though the floor.  Wait till you see who the main model is…


…I expected Africa for this one;  but given how most of Africa seems to be “migrating” to Spain, maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised.


…hey, go ahead and pick another national flag which does.  Then fuck off and live there.


…and she looks pretty much how you’d expect her to look.  One would hope that the 8-a-day activity would involve only one man, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

And now it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:


…


…and this surprises you because…?

And finally, some wives that might be worth fighting the husband for:

Blake Lively:

Tamzin Outhwaite:

Rachel Weisz (yeah, she’s married to 007;  it’s a movie character):

And lastly, someone who needs no introduction:

Now… where did I put those brass knuckles?

Augean Stables

House & Home

Posting may be a little light today, as New Wife returns home first thing tomorrow morning, and I have a little errrrr cleaning up to do chez  Du Toit before that happens:

…if you know what I mean.

Hey, at least there aren’t any dead hippies, unlike last time.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Time to go on vacation, on a beach somewhere in Europe or the Black Sea.

So… on with the funnies.  Of course, some may be a little offensive to a few people.

And speaking of which:

I report, you decide.

Vicky

Beauty, Entertainment

Her late father was easily one of the funniest writers in the English language;  her brother is a renowned (and very good) restaurant and food critic, and like both father and brother she is a graduate of Oxford University.  Unlike the other two male relatives, she is also a champion poker player and constant guest on cooking- and quiz shows on Brit TV, where she tends to overawe most of the other competitors (and quiz masters) with her frightening intellect and acidic tongue.  She’s also married (alas) to one of the most effete, yet funniest and angriest comedians on television, and I would pay a small fortune to have them both as dinner guests.

Her name is Victoria Coren (Mitchell), her father was Alan Coren, her brother is Giles Coren, and her husband is David Mitchell — and each one of those men is worthy of a post all to himself.  But they pale beside Victoria.

And I’ve had a massive crush on her for well over a decade.

Here’s one of the compilations from when she appeared as a contestant on the ghastly Countdown  series.   And then there’s QI, where she gets into arguments with the equally-intellectual Stephen Fry and Sandi Toksvig.

And here’s when she and her husband appeared together on Would I Lie To You?  (which is a hysterically funny show).

Class, intelligence, sense of humor, good looks. and a penchant for erotic spanking… ask me to explain again why I love her.