This story got me nodding my head in agreement.
One couple ditched their plans for a conventional wedding and instead jetted off on a month-long honeymoon. Hannah Bird and Charlie Camper, both 26, had originally budgeted £30,000 for their big day. However, the pair from Burnham-on-Sea soon realized the huge sum would be blown on just one day and could instead be used to make more memories exploring the world.
So they did just that: offering their guests supermarket cup cakes instead of buying an expensive wedding cake, got the bride a free (i.e. secondhand) wedding dress and offered their guests a buffet (“grazing table”) instead of the traditional sit-down meal. As for the venue: they booked a woodland retreat for a whole weekend’s festivities — which ordinarily would strike some as excessive — but reduced the cost by charging their guests sixty quid, in lieu of wedding presents. Which makes a great deal of sense, by the way: it may sound tacky, but from a guest’s point of view, where are you going to get a weekend getaway for only sixty bucks? A bargain for everybody, and guests wouldn’t have to mess with buying presents into the bargain.
I never bought in to the wedding-industrial complex; it always seemed to me a cynical exercise in gyno-centric excess — the idea that a girl somehow “deserves” to have a Special Day wherein she’s the absolute center of attention. What bollocks. And this is especially true when one looks at the statistics and realizes that the chances of said nuptials actually producing a long and happy relationship are vanishingly small.
I have no problem with the bride’s parents paying lots of money for the occasion, by the way — it’s their money to do with what they wish, and as long as they don’t bankrupt themselves (a distressingly-common occurrence), why not? But as with the couple in the above story, it makes so much more sense to take the money that would have been blown on fripperies such as massive flower bouquets and a one-day-use dress, and spend it instead on something worthwhile to the couple, rather than just feeding the bride’s giant ego or need for self-aggrandizement.
I actually did that with my first marriage. As time passed, I noted with alarm that the whole thing was growing faster than a Democrat politician’s spending plan, and I did two things: first, I secretly bought our honeymoon air tickets (to the U.S., incidentally, where neither of us had been before); then I presented that fact to the bride’s family as a fait accompli, and said that this wedding day was going to be made on a strict budget because we needed to save money to afford a month-long’s stay in the U.S. Unbelievably, over time pressure was brought upon me by her family to cancel the U.S. trip for a shorter honeymoon at some resort somewhere in South Africa — said pressure only disappearing when I threatened to walk away from the whole wedding (and marriage) and go to the States on my own instead. And I meant every word.
Anyway, that honeymoon Over Here was truly beneficial for me, in that I fell in love with this wonderful, fantastic country, big time… and the rest you know.
And all because like the couple above, I refused to spend a boatload of money on some one-day extravagance. In their case, they got a lifetime’s worth of memories; in my case, I changed my life’s entire path.
A bargain, for both of us.