Here’s a trend that should need no warning, but clearly one should be made:
Deaths on safari are on the rise, with several reports in the last 18 months alone.
The most recent case of this was in July 2025, when a British tourist and her friend from New Zealand were killed by a charging elephant during a ‘sunrise safari walk’ in Zambia.
In July 2024, a Spanish tourist was horrifically crushed to death in front of his screaming fiancee by an angry herd of elephants after he got out of his car to take photographs in a South African game reserve.
Two months prior to that, Lisa Manders, 70, from the US state of Connecticut, was killed by a hippo in Zambia, while out on a ‘bush walk’ during a dream safari trip with her husband Craig.
And in April last year, a crazed bull elephant attacked tourists on safari in Zambia, leaving an American woman dead, after chasing a safari truck for more than half a mile through a national park.
Earlier this month, terrifying footage emerged of an elephant flipping over a safari canoe and trying to crush a woman to death in the Okavango Delta in Botswana.
Folks, hear me now: the African bush is a really, really dangerous place. If there’s one thing that Africa excels at, it’s finding ways to kill you. Whether sickness (pick one from a list of literally hundreds), insects like scorpions or spiders, reptiles like snakes or crocodiles, and most horribly, some of the animals above — any time you step outside a shelter of some kind, you are no longer the apex predator.
Just remember that all over Africa, professional hunters — even those who excel in bushcraft and are excellent shots with their large-caliber rifles — cannot get life insurance, at any price. And if these tough bastards are likely to die from any of the above, vulnerable little you are going to be like a marshmallow treat to a lion, leopard or whatever.
Game watching in Africa is a glorious experience. I’ve done it myself, more times than I can count. But I always stayed in my car — hell, most of the time I wouldn’t even roll down the window — because when it comes to Things That Bite, I am the world’s biggest coward, and I admit it unashamedly.
And when it comes to hunting, I am an even bigger coward. I’ve never hunted Cape buffalo, for example, because they scare the shit out of me — even more so than lions, where I’ve had some modest success. In case you’re wondering, there’s a true story of a guy who whacked a buff, and when looking over the dead animal, found not only his but two “extra” bullet holes in its hide; bullet holes that had healed, without affecting the animal’s health in any serious way. (Turns out they were AK-47 7.62x39mm bullets, i.e. from poacher’s gun, which is instructive as to the inadequacy of using any light cartridge on these beasts.)
There is no amount of money that would get me into a canoe on any body of water out there in the African bush.
“Dangerous game” in Africa is not a misnomer, and the worst thing about African predators is how incredibly fast they are when it comes to getting their prey. Sure, people have survived attacks before; but as any African bookie will tell you, that’s not the way to bet.
And getting out of the safety of your vehicle just to get a close-up shot of an animal? Sheesh, that’s why some smart guy invented the telephoto lens. You would be quite safe inside one of those M1 Abrams tanks, of course; but the minute you step outside to have a pee, you will become an instant menu item and Africa, most assuredly, will win again.
Trump was making deals with a few countries to deport illegals to, can we start sending the most violent and repeat deportees to Africa, specifically into the bush and with all the most dangerous wildlife?
# This would be a reality TV show worth watching.
Kenya would be nice.
“….the worst thing about African predators is how incredibly fast they are….”
===============
That part right there. Most people’s experience with wild animals is through watching TV, a 2 dimensional reality. It doesn’t convey the real 3D reality of how the animals really are. Speed and quickness for example.
One second you’re watching the furry kitty in the viewfinder and the next you’re on your back watching your entrails being stretched across the Sahara without the vaguest clue as to how it happened. Just like that! (finger snap)
A lion can get from standstill to 100 yards in about 1.5 seconds.
They’re not only fast but unbelievably strong. I visited Kruger Park in SA many times while working there, and upon arrival, the rangers told me never, never, ever get out of your car for any reason, and never go off the marked roads to explore some side road or path. They said if there is a problem, stay put and we will come find you when you don’t leave the park or check into an overnight camp on schedule.
I read in the Jo’burg paper where a tourist saw a do not enter sign, and convinced “they” were hiding something “they” didn’t want tourists to see, went down a do-not-enter dirt road and got stuck in a washout. He spent a terrifying night alone as a pride of lions came to his car and tried to get at him, in the process pulling all four tires off the rims like chew toys. If you’ve ever tried to mount or dismount a tire by hand you’ll know how much strength is needed. Now do that with your teeth and no tire irons.
IMO, these tourists riding around in the bush in open top vehicles, all lined up in neat rows are just smorgasbord for lions, and out of their fucking tiny do-gooder minds.
We were on a coach tour through the Canadian Rockies when we saw a Mumma Grizzly and her two cubs. The driver stopped so we could take photos through the windows.
American woman: “Open the door. I want to get closer.”
Driver: “No, ma’am, I can’t do that.”
Woman: “I wasn’t asking; I’m TELLING you to open the door.”
Driver: “Ma’am, if you get between that bear and her cubs, she’ll rip you to shreds.”
Woman: “Rubbish! Open the goddamn door!”
Driver: “Sorry. No.”
Woman (screaming): “I want your full name and I want your boss’s phone number. NOW! I am reporting you!”
Everyone else on the bus (mentally): “FFS, open the door and let the bitch go!”
“… And lock it behind her!”
IDK, my ex was kind of crazy at times, but I found the African Bush to be rather nice and certainly not dangerous.
In 1997 went down to visit the future ex wife in Durban area, we went to Hluhluwe-IMfolozi Park, there were two bull Rhino duking it out. Turf flying all over the place. We were behind another car, and two rather Asian guys get out of the car in front of us to get closer to take pictures. All I could think of was there won’t be much left of them if the Rhinos decide to change targets and how fast can I back up this car on these roads.
Perhaps Africa should host a Gene Pool Park, in which people are not just permitted, but encouraged, to get out of their vehicles and wander around.
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PPV material, that.
The Junior College I went to for non-major classes had a professor Eugene Poole.
Maybe we could name the park after him.
I used to work at a big box store that sold credit cards and dabbled in outdoor goods. I’d encourage people to enjoy wildlife through a good set of binoculars from a distance rather than get close to them. Let the animals do their thing and you do your thing with ample space between. The number of dolts that came into that store was astounding.
When Spring breaks and tourists get out to the Western parks to see the buffalo, I root for the buffalo now. SUre, go ahead and pet the fluffy cows. you’ll make a memory that lasts your lifetime.
THe impression I get is that Australia and Africa will kill you.
There are too many useful idiots watching, and believing, those AI videos of gentle wild beast and human interaction and, in the end, Darwin will have his way with them.
I like to think of such activities as “Pouring some bleach into the gene pool.”
Yep – no thanks. Closest I want to get to one of those deady beasts is through bars at a zoo. I had an encounter with the “fluffy cows” once, or rather the ex and her cousin did. We drove through Natural Bridge Wildlife Park near San Antonio. We had small buckets of food to feed the animals and after feeding the emus through my driver’s side window I passed it back, rolled up the window and drove on – to the Bison. One of the beasts went up to the window behind me and its face filled the window of the sedan. Not its head – just its face filled the window! The ladyfolk cringed back, especially since snot was dripping from its nose into the car (than God it was a rental and I didn’t have to clean that up!) Rathre than getting pissed, it lost interest and mosied off. The rest of the animals seemed near domesticated, or at least used to humans and the food the park sold. So when people want to get near BIG & WILD animals I just think “Darwin Award!”
My sister went on a photo safari in Zimbabwe. When they got back to camp, a female rhino and her calf were right in the middle of the tents. The guide said,” Don’t move and be quiet”.
My sister says she just kept saying, ” Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!.”
I told her after the first Oh my, I would have choked her out. Friggen white women!
And then there’s the microfauna, which almost got me in 1976.
I’m betting a lot of these folks are the Portland Disney types who think wild animals will understand that they’re “allies” and not eat them as soon as they get the opportunity. And that’s just with Islam.