…in which we debate the use of the word “alleged”.
But first, the salient details of the case:
An alleged armed intruder died around 1:45 a.m. Sunday on the back porch of a Pierce County, Washington, home after a homeowner shot him.
KOMO News reported the homeowner called 911 to inform them he had shot an alleged intruder. Pierce County Sheriff’s Deputies arrived on scene to find a 36-year-old suspect “with a single gunshot wound on the back porch.”
[cue applause for excellent shot placement]
Now I understand that everyone has to use the word “alleged” in matters like this, because the “alleged” dead guy had not been proven to be an intruder in a court of law.
In this case, however, the Corpus Delicti isn’t ever going to court, unless they rename cemeteries as such. And then there’s this:
KING5 quoted Sheriff’s Office PIO officer Carly Cappetto saying, “In the surveillance video, it does show that suspect had a gun in his hand and was actively banging on [the] back door of that homeowner in a fully fenced backyard.”
Seems like pretty conclusive evidence that said “suspect” was indeed intruding — unless Our Hero had given him permission to climb over the backyard fence, which seems unlikely; and similarly, the soon-to-be-dead asshole was carrying a gun, which in any place not named Boston or London might seem to indicate that he was dangerous, and therefore worthy of shooting — unless he simply wanted Our Hero to help him clean the thing, which also seems unlikely.
I should point out that when I report on Righteous Shootings, I often edit the headlines or text to remove these silly little qualifiers (like “suspected” or “alleged”) because they’re pointless and are there only to appease the Powdered Wig types in the public defenders’ office.
In situations like the above Blessed Event, however, such qualifiers are just unnecessary.
The scumbag is allegedly dead.
Here’s the part that gives the key to this
“1:45 am Sunday on the back porch”
Put a different way, nothing good comes from being on the porch of a home that you do not own and do not live in at 1:45 am. And if you further try to break into said home that is not yours, you might not have a great day.
Sounds like the asshole allegedly won a Darwin Award.
# Wrong House Buddy
# That homeowner allegedly does NOT like deliveries in the rear
“ In the surveillance video, it does show that suspect had a gun in his hand and was actively banging on [the] back door of that homeowner in a fully fenced backyard.”
MAYBE this was all a misunderstanding.
Perhaps this ALLEGED intruder had just run out of ammunition for his gun and he stopped to see if the homeowner would be willing to donate some lead. Lucky for the intruder, because the homeowner did indeed donate some lead.