Splendid Isolation

Tag: Stupid people

Dreams For Suckers

Marketing / Advertising

Here’s an irresistible offer assuming, that is, you want to live on Planet Manhattan:

For most, owning an apartment on the Upper West Side just minutes away from Central Park is an expensive dream.

However, New York City apartments in the prime location complete with hardwood floors and air conditioning, are being sold for as little as $174,000.  Studio apartments are estimated at $173,801, while one-bedroom flats will cost around $184,990.

But there is a catch. The cheap properties, located within a five-storey walk-up pre-war building, are being sold through a lottery open only to those earning below a certain income.  Only households with an annual income of around $150,000 or less – 120% of New York’s median income — will qualify for the draw.

Sounds good, dunnit?  The company is giving people of lesser income (that would be too little to afford to live in NYfC) a chance to get in there — a very laudable goal.  Read on:

Applicants must use the home as their primary residence and may not currently own or have previously owned a property.

That’s good.

Interested buyers must also have 5% of the purchase price to hand in order to make a down payment.

Also reasonable.

Those looking to get their hands on one of the 17 units in at 165 West 80th Street must enter the draw by the deadline on August 27.

That’s kinda soon for a purchase of this magnitude, don’t you think?  (Anyone who’s ever bought a car will recognize this little line;  “Offer only good through this weekend!” or “There are two other guys interested in this deal.” )

…which brings me to my next point.  Most likely, there are going to be far more buyers than apartments, what finance people call “oversubscribed” in the market.  Which is fine, but my antennae — already twitching — lead me to ask one simple question:

Does one have to purchase a ticket or pay some kind of fee to enter this particular little lottery?

Because if so, the organizers are going to make a shitload of money from the potential buyers before the first apartment is sold because regardless of the ticket price, there are likely to be hundreds of thousands of applicants wanting in on the deal.

If not, and the entry is based solely upon proof of financial qualification, then all is well, more or less.

But I can’t but help thinking that there’s a scam in all this, somewhere.  As the old (and wise) saying goes:  when a deal is too good to be true, it usually is.  And apart from the obvious question (who would want to live in a five-floor walk-up in Manhattan nowadays?), this one seems to be just that.

I’ve seen apartments in Manhattan, and most are absolute shit — especially in older buildings.  Offering a “floor and A/C” isn’t much, and if the place needs substantial work — at Manhattan-level prices — then the deal is going to cost a ton of money.  And if the organizers have already refurbished the apartments –also at Manhattan-level prices — then how are they going to make money on so low a price?

Feel free to argue the point, in Comments.

No Excuse?

Sports

Here’s a little bit of silliness from Formula 1, from Lewis Hamilton:

Lewis Hamilton has called for a Formula One race to be held in Africa, claiming that there is “no excuse” for the sport not to return to the continent.

There has not been a Grand Prix in Africa since the 1993 South African GP, with Hamilton insisting that it is time for a comeback.

Asked if it was the right time for the F1 to return to Africa, Hamilton replied: “100 per cent. We can’t be adding races in other locations and continue to ignore Africa, which the rest of the world just takes from.

“No one gives anything to Africa. There’s a huge amount of work that needs to be done there. I think a lot of the world that haven’t been there don’t realise how beautiful the place is, how vast it is.

“I think having a grand prix there, it would really be able to highlight just how great the place is and bring in tourism and all sorts of things. Why are we not on that continent? And the current excuse is that there’s not a track that’s ready, but there is at least one track that’s ready there.

“In the short term, we should just get on that track and have that part of the calendar and then work on building out something moving forward.”

…because “equity”, you see.

Actually, I can see several reasons (not “excuses”) for Africa to be ignored by F1.

The only country capable of staging a Grand Prix is South Africa, with its Kyalami circuit north of Johannesburg.  I invite Lewis to visit the place — but without any kind of security (no bodyguards etc.).

If Kyalami were off the table, then Cape Town could probably build a street circuit (it’s been mooted before), as they did with the Formula E race last year.

But Formula E isn’t Formula 1, and it should be noted that Cape Town is Eco-Green Loony Central (which would no doubt please Hamilton).  The arrival of all those smelly, Gaia-destroying F1 cars is unlikely to find much support there.

Elsewhere in Africa, forget about it.  Unless Liberty Media were to undertake to build a new track in, oh, Kenya — the only African city outside South Africa with a halfway-decent airport — and build in all the infrastructure (electricity, water, roads etc.) to support it, it would never happen.

Even if they did — and they won’t — it would take years before the project would be completed.  With current trends, F1 will be racing wind-powered cars before that happens.

Don’t even think about any of the countries north of the Sahara either, because the infrastructure issues would be even worse than in South Africa, with the added flavor of radical Islam to spice things up.

Like all DEI dreams, the idea of a Grand Prix race in Africa sucks, for practical reasons.  But of course, when it comes to DEI, that nasty reality has no place — and Lewis Hamilton is no different from any other dreamer.

Pay The Price

Food & Drink, Travels

Some Belgie chick went to London and was astonished to be charged through the nose for her breakfast.

A tourist has come under fire for complaining about paying £3.55 for two croissants and a bottle of water at a London supermarket.

Here’s why I have no sympathy.

1) Any time you visit a major city (pretty much anywhere, Tokyo, Zurich ahem), you’re probably going to pay more than you expect for stuff, and in London more so than most, especially when the currency exchange is factored in.  (In Murkin greenbacks, this amount would be $4.50 or so — typical for a quick breakfast in L.A. or NYfC, probably, but without the quality guarantee.)  Which leads to my next point:

2) It’s Marks & Spencer, FFS.  Chances are that said croissants are as good or better than she could get anywhere else in Europe, with the possible exception of Paris.  That’s why they’re more expensive than most places:  they go for quality over everything else, and you pay the premium accordingly..

3) Water?  With croissants?  Loath as I am to tell a Euro how to eat their food, the proper liquid to be consumed with croissants is coffee.  Okay, considering the locale, a cup of tea could be substituted, but water?  Ugh.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do;  and when in London, suck it up and pay, Margriet.

Every Minute

Fashion

…a fool is born, goes the saying.  And chances are that the first thing said fool will do is slap down $600 for a pair of… flip-flops?

I’m not kidding.

How the humble flip-flop became the shoe of the summer with unbelievable price tags to match

JHC.

I remember the wonderful little speech given by Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, in which she schools ingenue Anne Hathaway about the importance of the color “cerise” and how great minds in the fashion industry planned its future appeal, years before it became “fashionable”.  (Don’t bother looking it up;  it’s dark- or cherry pink.)

I thought the speech was a great example of how easily people can be fooled into thinking that something of little value or consequence actually matters.

As an Olde Phartte of many summers, I can recall many stupid fashions — platform shoes, wide psychedelic neckties, wide lapels on suits, etc. etc.

But I never ever dreamed that fucking flip-flops — which should all be burned on a giant bonfire (along with their wearers*) — would become the new overpriced trend.

When I see F1’s Lewis Hamilton wearing a pair of Laboutin flip-flops in the pits, then I’ll know how far we’ve fallen.

Time for gin?  I think so.

*Note:  No snide references to Australians, the worst offenders in this footwear folly.

Looking Guilty

Law and Order

Here’s one powdered wig that went askew:

A Mississippi attorney is accused of smuggling cell phones and drugs into prison.

Officials said Attorney Daniel Dale allegedly smuggled cell phones, cell phone chargers, drugs, and other items into the jail during what was believed to be meetings with clients.

He was arrested days after a video showed him allegedly giving a cell phone and a brown envelope to a client.

Dale was found with two cell phones, a digital scale, four vacuum-sealed packs of cigarettes, four vacuum-sealed packs of what is believed to be marijuana, two cellphone charger blocks, two cell phone chargers, and multiple cigar wraps.

And his mug shot:

As I replied to Reader Mike L. (who had sent the link to me, thankee squire):  “Fuck me, that mope could be accused of ANY crime and I’d believe it.”

Sometimes, ya just gotta shake yer head.