More Food Scolding

This time from some group I’ve never heard of before, the “2025 EAT-Lancet Commission”, who are “a coalition of experts in nutrition, climate, economics, health and agriculture from more than 35 countries.”

Needless to say, when this august body issues a report that contains this word garbage:

“The evidence laid out in our report is clear: the world must act boldly and equitably to ensure sustainable improvements.”

…you just know that it’s going to be total bullshit.

And so it is.

If people worldwide adopted their “Planetary Health Diet” (PHD), up to 15 million premature deaths could be avoided annually. 

Note the usual weaseling:  “up to” [some massive figure], and “could be” avoided.  No mention what the “premature” figure actually is and how it’s been derived.

Oh wait, I forgot this little snippet:

“Changing how the world eats could reduce premature deaths, save trillions of dollars and slow the impacts of climate change.”

Ah yes, the (by now thoroughly-debunked) bogeyman of Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©, and the promise of endless amounts of money to be saved — all undermined by the single word “could” — that would improve our world, if only yadda yadda yadda.

So what is this PHD master plan, exactly?

PHD is a plant-based menu that includes three to five daily servings of whole grains, at least five daily servings of fruits and vegetables and daily servings of nuts and legumes.  The diet doesn’t call for the complete elimination of animal proteins for those who wish to continue eating them, but instead encourages people to consume red meat, poultry, fish, eggs and dairy in moderation. For example, the group recommends only one serving of red meat, two servings of fish and poultry and three to four eggs per week. They also call for strict limits on added sugars, saturated fats and salt.

You mean we shouldn’t all go completely vegan, then?  Color me surprised.  So to sum up;  eat pretty much what you want, in moderation.  Well, except a lot less bacon, steaks and hamburgers, you filthy carnivores.

Whatever.

What gets up my nose, however, is the implicit meaning of the expression “act boldly” in the very first paragraph of this post.  To pricks like this, “act boldly” means that some authority should begin to dictate how we eat, and enforce this foul nonsense.

Because the stakes are so high, you see.

And exactly how does this new buzzword “equitable” feature in this, anyway?  (I’ll save you the trouble of thinking about it:  it’s just a fashionable way to add justification to the cause du jour.  Ditto “climate change”.)

Simple conclusion for us:  fuck right off, assholes.  You have as much credibility on this topic as the assholes who gave us the (tragically wrong) Food Pyramid:  i.e. none.

It amazes me that over the past half century or so, while we have undoubtedly been eating more junk food, the worldwide stats for death by starvation — surely to be included in any count of premature deaths — have plummeted.  In fact, if one were to exclude acts of deliberate starvation perpetrated by government (hello, Comrade Stalin and various African / Asian warlords), there’s a convincing case to be made that starvation has become far less of a worldwide calamity than it was even in, say, 1950.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to make myself a brekkie of bacon and (two) eggs with some toasted French bread on the side, and then head off to the range.

Exactly what I’m going to be shooting must await tomorrow’s range report.  It will, however, cause something of a stir.

Price Points

Snappy rejoinder #257:

I was reminded of this when I paid my monthly visit to the butchery (Hirsch’s Meats in Plano) a few days ago.

Some background:  Hirsch makes South African boerewors (farm sausage), and they make it really well, to a recipe provided to them by a South African customer as a special order, but which turned out to be a gold mine for them when they made more and put it for sale in the freezer.  Unsurprisingly, they have a large clientele of Seffricans, and one of the basket characteristics (told to me by Nancy Hirsch) is that it is the only product in their freezer which is bought in multiples — i.e. more than one pack per customer.  I usually buy four at a time, which yields 12 boerewors sausages for my monthly consumption (New Wife doesn’t eat boerewors, never has, so I have them all to myself yum yum).

Now these are not your typical skimpy things like Nathan’s or Oscar Meyer hotdogs.  Even after cooking, these are monsters and sometimes I can’t eat a whole one in a bread roll, but have to slice it longitudinally in half to be able to finish it.  (The other half goes into the fridge for next day’s brekkie.)

Now this stuff is not cheap.  A pack of three boerewors costs about $7.50 – $8.00, which sounds expensive and it is, but it’s a delicacy, made by hand (because of the very specific recipe) and as such very much worth the money.  So I typically buy those four packs with a total ring of about $32.

Until the last time I went into the butchery, and discovered that the packs now cost $11 each.

So from now on, I’ll only be buying three packs at a time, yielding nine sausages for the month instead of twelve.  Same amount of money, three-quarters of the product.

Which, by the way, is what I told the folks at Hirsch.

Look, I understand the business of retail product pricing;  when it comes to foods, I understand it as well as anyone on the world because I did little else but study things like price elasticity and promotion pricing, for well over forty years.

But the plain fact of the matter is that now in my sunset years, I can no longer afford just to pay whatever the price sticker demands.  I have a (very) fixed amount of money I can pay for groceries, which means that at some point, I have to cut back — as above — and make do with less.  Fortunately, New Wife is an outstanding cook, so making meals from scratch and eating stews, curries and pasta dishes instead of boerewors hot dogs is not that much of a sacrifice, believe me.

But here’s the thing:  once a year I host the family Christmas dinner (on Boxing Day and not the 25th), in which I myself prepare a prime rib roast.  In the past, that prime rib has always come from Hirsch’s Meats because I’m not prepared to stint on quality for what is, even more than Thanksgiving, our family’s premium gathering of the year.

Well, this year and probably for the entire future, that prime rib roast will be coming not from Hirsch but from Walmart — something which I also told the Hirsch people.

Sic transit emptor.

Welcome Expansion

Oh be still, my beating heart:

High street food chain Greggs is to open its first pub serving exclusive beers and a menu featuring its classic bakes and sausage rolls.

Just when I thought there was no reason ever to visit Britishland again, they do this to me.

Then again, this first (and so far only) Greggs-based pub is opening in Newcastle-On-Tyne, which exists in my mind simply as a railway station one passes through en route to Edinburgh.

But… beer and Greggs sausage rolls?

Back, Satan;  back, I say.

It’s just a Good Thing Greggs didn’t open their first pub in Devizes, Wilts.

The combination of steak bakes, sausage rolls and pints of Wadworth 6x… [exit, drooling]

Never Mind That Yellow Snow

…watch out for the radioactive shrimp instead:

The Food and Drug Administration is warning U.S. consumers not to eat certain frozen shrimp products sold at Walmart over concerns they contain radioactive isotope Cesium-137.

In a press release Tuesday, the FDA said they were investigating reports of Cs-137 contamination in shipping containers and frozen shrimp being imported by Indonesian company BMS Foods after it was detected by customs officers at four US ports.

Now to be sure, this is being done in an excess of caution:  there’s no actual proof that WallyWorld sold any radioactive shrimp, and the levels are well below what the FDA considers as harmful.

But if you’ve got that big shrimp boil scheduled for the weekend family reunion and you bought the stuff from Sam’s Club or its cousin, you may want to consider replacing it from somewhere else.

#WoodstockBrownAcidWarning

Not Wanting

In a recent poll taken among two thousand Gen Z Brits, the following are ones that these kids refuse to eat, ranking by the negative percentages, so to speak.

Liver (35% refuse to eat)
Blue cheese (32%)
Anchovies (30%)
Black pudding (29%)
Prawns (26%)
Duck (25%)
Tofu (23%)
Mushrooms (23%)
Olives (23%)
Plant-based cheese (21%)

My take, as a Boomer:

Liver — as a rule, I prefer liver in pâté form, but I love me some deep-fried chicken livers, with a passion.
Blue cheese — by itself, a tad strong;  crumbled over a burger:  yummy.
Anchovies — whether on toast or on pizza, I’ll eat them any day of the week
Black pudding — ugh.  The best thing you can say about black (i.e. “blood”) pudding is that it’s tasteless.
Prawns — or as we Murkins call them, shrimp:  love ’em.
Duck — little oily, but tastier than chicken.  (Duck fat, by the way, is the ultimate cooking ingredient.)
Tofu — nope.  Not ever.
Mushrooms — are you kidding me?  I must eat mushrooms of one sort or another at least three times a week.  My favorite:  a substitute for a bun in a hamburger (giant Portobella fried in butter, oh my).
Olives — nope.  Not ever.
Plant-based cheese — LOL, forget that shit.

The Daily Mail  article which fostered this post had the usual scare headline — “These Foods Are Going To Disappear!!!!!”

#

…but I don’t think we need to panic.  If it were only true of olives (never gonna happen), tofu (ugh) and that strange plant cheese (we can but hope, plus all “plant-based” meats), I’m fine with the prognosis.

Nice Try, Nerds

Another breathless warning from some joyless dorks:

Whether it’s a mature cheddar or a crumbly feta, cheese is one of the most beloved foods around the world.  But in news that will concern fans of the moreish treat, scientists have issued an urgent warning about eating cheese. 

For the first time, a groundbreaking study has revealed that these dairy products are ‘ripe in microplastics’.  Scientists believe the tiny plastic particles, measuring 5mm or smaller, could be entering cheese at various stages of production.  Their analysis revealed that the most contaminated products were ripened cheeses – those aged for more than four months – with a staggering 1,857 plastic particles per kilogram.

For comparison, that means a ripened cheese contains around 45 times more microplastics than bottled water.

Yeah, and 45 times “pretty much zip” is still close to nothing.

Since plastics contain chemicals known to be toxic or carcinogenic, scientists are concerned that a buildup of microplastics could damage tissues in our bodies.

“Could”.  Yeah, well at my age I pretty much don’t care, because at some point something’s going to kill me off anyway.  And seeing that these microplastic thingies are pretty much ubiquitous in all food types, I’ll just carry on eating this, my favorite kind of food.

Your opinion may vary, and I don’t care.