The No-Sales Company

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, this has happened:

Jaguar sales take a nosedive after fierce backlash to ‘woke’ brand

Jaguar sales have nosedived by more than a quarter in the last year following the legendary British car marque’s dramatic ‘woke‘ rebrand. 

The company was mauled for ditching the iconic ‘growler’ badge, used for decades on grilles and bonnets, and replacing it with a curved geometric ‘J’ badge.

Other controversial changes included unveiling a bright pink concept car, which was aimed at updating Jaguar’s image for the electric age. 

But design experts and Jag fans ridiculed the makeover, branding it ‘cultural vandalism’ and the ‘most destructive marketing move ever’.

Now new industry registration figures released by parent company, Jaguar Land Rover (JLR) revealed the number of cars sold by the Indian-owned firm fell by 12,459 to just 33,320 in 2024.

Fear not, however:

…but carmaker’s classic Range Rover and Defender models are still popular

Meanwhile, sales of JLR’s Range Rover SUV have boomed, with the firm championing ‘strong wholesale growth’ for the 12 per cent increase during the quarter compared to a year earlier. 

Sales of classic Range Rovers rose by 22 per cent, while the Sport and Evoque models rose by 17 per cent and 15 per cent respectively. Defender sales also surged by 13 per cent, while Discovery sales increased by 1.5 per cent. 

Which leads us to this tragic scenario:

Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of wokistas.

And That’s Why

How about this one:

“It’s a Wonderful Life” fans have expressed outrage that Amazon Prime cut a crucial scene from the beloved Christmas classic.

An abridged version of the 1946 film has been edited to leave out a scene that many consider the most important in the movie, which follows the character of businessman George Bailey as he considers taking his own life.

The scene in question, known as the ‘Pottersville scene,’ sees George wish that he had never been born before his guardian angel reminds him that he needs to earn ‘his angel wings.’

In the original version of the movie, George tells the angel that he believes he is worth more dead than alive. The angel then tells George that he does not know all he has done in his life, before showing him a version of a grim world where he never existed.

That’s when George realizes he has a wonderful life and has positively impacted his loved ones, who he is desperate to get back to as the film comes to a resolution.

But in the abridged version of the film on Prime, the moment where the angel tells George he has to earn his wings abruptly cuts to George happily running through the streets after he’s reconciled with his own life — without including what led him to his newfound acceptance.

…and harking back to the title of this post:  this is why I have bought and continue to acquire the DVDs of all my favorite movies (Casablanca, 1984, It Happened One Night, all the Fred/Ginger movies, etc.) and I have a backup multi-format DVD player in case my new one ever breaks.

That way, nobody (e.g. Amazon) can ever take them away from me or “abridge” them.  Just who the fucking hell do they think they are?  The Pope who had all Michelangelo’s nude works defaced by painting over the women’s pudenda?

Fuck ’em all, and the nanny horse they rode in on.

Bastards.

Apology Universe

I fear that we are becoming a world full of apologetics.  Why?  Try this one on for size:

The ad, which shows a black woman on her wedding day marrying a white man, has caused controversy for allegedly pushing racist stereotypes.

The image shows a white mother and father, presumed to be the mother and father of the white groom. It also shows a black woman, presumed to be the mother of the bride.

However, commuters and social media users were outraged that the bride did not have a father pictured in the snap. 

Yeah… Black fathers being so notable for their appearance and involvement in their offsprings’ lives.

Actually, there’s a very simple explanation for the picture’s composition:  they’re creating a central point of interest for the product, which means there can only be three or five characters (odd numbers, there being no midpoint in even numbers).

Why did they leave out Black Daddy, as opposed to any of the other parents?  Your guess is as good as mine.

But it sure as hell is no reason for an apology, just as there is no reason to see “Black stereotypes” behind every fucking bush and every poxy door.

If we’re going to go with racial stereotypes to apologize for, here’s what we’re talking about:

Smelling salts available at all good drugstores.

Work Ethic

What bullshit.  From Richard Littlejohn:

My nephew recently applied for a vacancy at a City institution. He got the job, even though he was over-qualified, because he was the only applicant prepared to turn up at least three days a week.

Apparently, the new corporate sin is “presenteeism” — the insistence that employees actually go to the company office to do their job.  Apparently, employees now have the “right” to tell the company when they’ll be most productive.  What a load of crap.

Listen:  I worked from home for over nine years (out of a working lifetime of over thirty) and even though I was as motivated as hell, I can tell you right now that I often goofed off.  Oh, the excuses were good:

  • the program I was running would take over two hours to run, so why not mow the lawn during that time?
  • the meeting was being conducted online (by phone;  we didn’t have Zoom or whatever back then), so I could get in the car and drive to the supermarket while listening in;
  • I didn’t want to be disturbed while working on a project, and so working at home meant that people wouldn’t interrupt me by coming into my office;
  • and so on.

The thing that’s common to all this nonsense is that people are conflating personal productivity with corporate productivity.  In the first example above, sure:  I could get something done that needed doing while waiting for the program to run — but what I should have been doing is other work-related stuff:  responding to emails, planning the next project — you know, doing company business while on company time.

I don’t buy any of this WFH nonsense.  If I were running a company, I would insist on 100% (5 days a week) office attendance, with work from home being allowed only on a case-by-case basis, and only at the employee’s manager’s discretion — his decision being final and absolute, not subject to appeal or revision.

“Oh but Kim, you’d never get anyone to work for you on that basis then.”

You know who would work for me under those conditions?  Men and women of age greater than 55, with all the work experience (i.e. requiring little or no training) who all understand that work is work, and that work needs to be done in the appropriate environment.  Not at home, where you can play video games while being on a Zoom call with a client.

I’d rather pay some old fart (or fartette) $45/hour and know that he’ll not only be there when and if I need him, but he’ll also understand the concept of loyalty and will stay with me for the next ten years;  as opposed to paying some supercilious little twerp $35/hour for him to be goofing off 50% of the time at home, and who will quit in two months’ time because someone offered him $37.50, or his manager “offended” him.

And I don’t want to hear any protestations of innocence and indignation from Gen Z, either.  I’ve been there and done that, I know how the game is played, and you won’t shame me by accusing me of “presenteeism” or some other spurious concocted offense.

Fuck you.  You want the job, you work where and when your employer tells you to.  Otherwise, feel free to pursue your precious career goals in the fast food industry, DoorDash, or as a “content creator” on your own website or OnlyFans.  Get out of the way, and leave business to serious people.