Welcome to MONDAY !!!!!!
Now for a Classical Thought:
Other things you might find on Teh Intarwebz:
And speaking of sex:
And speaking of Teh Intarwebz… it appears that this theme has become quite popular of late:
Category: Funny Stuff
Monday Funnies
And a classic reminder:
And on that cheerful note, these:
And on that dire train of thought, some delightful Southern charm:
“Save yer Confederate gold, m’boy — the South will rise agin.”
Easy Choice
During some international womyns’ soccer competition being played in Strylia, seven members of the Iranian team ran away and sought asylum.
Apparently, five of the women, when given the choice:
a) go back home to Iran where you will be beaten for not wearing a head covering, run the risk of being blown to bits by one of the Great Satan’s bombs, be forever a second-class citizen, be married off to some random stranger; OR
b) stay in Australia,
…decided to take option a).
Says it all, really.
Monday Funnies
And on a similar note from yesteryear:
So on we go…
And to end on a somewhat more cheerful note:
“Please Sir: can we have some more?”
And if that’s not enough to carry you off into the week, you need help.
Not Long To Go
According to SOTI, the oldest mass shooter in U.S. history was age 72.
I turn 72 on Ammo Day in November this year.
Coincidence? I guess it all depends what happens in the world, whether I miss it by thismuch or hang on for a year or two and go for the record. Right now it seems unlikely that I’d shoot the works prematurely, so to speak, because I’m quite enjoying all this Trumpy goodness and the Marxist wailing. But later on?
Factors that could influence this event: Democrats cheat their way into winning the Presidential Election in 2028 and immediately call for universal gun confiscation or whatever (see: Virginia’s new gun control law as a starting point). The problem with this scenario is that assuming I live that long, I’d be up against some fierce competition — and that’s just among my Readers. Gawd knows how many other irascible Olde Pharttes are out there who would prefer to take out a few (okay, lots of) Commies rather than let their lives end gradually in the excruciating pain of [insert Fatal Senior Ailment here].
As SOTI also said: “Right now, a lengthy prison term seems less like a deterrent and more like a paid vacation, with free medical.”
Note to the Perpetually Fearful: this whole post was a joke.
Or maybe not.
Compendium Of Wrong
It’s difficult to imagine just how much more could have gone wrong in this situation:
Jay Conway, 33, was spotted dealing drugs by two plain-clothed officers in a park in May.
They tried to apprehend him but he got away before another uniformed officer, who was on patrol in a police car nearby heard a radio alert and took up the chase.
Dramatic bodycam footage shows brave Constable Dan Clayton hauling Conway off a stolen push bike, before pulling out his taser and ordering him to “Get on the floor now.”
But Conway, who was wearing a balaclava, ignores him and instead pulls a loaded pistol out of his sock.
Conway is immediately tasered but, as he falls to the ground, he points the gun directly at Constable Clayton, who can be heard shouting, “No, no” and “gun, gun, gun,” as he sprints for cover.
Of course, all my Murkin Readers are no doubt going “WTF? Why didn’t the cop just shoot the asshole dead when he pulled the gun?”
If I were to tell you that this didn’t happen in the U.S. but in Britishland, then it all becomes clear.
Pro tip: If a scrote points a gun at you, the correct response should be “Blam! Blam! Blam! [repeat as necessary] ” and not “No! No! No!”
If, however, your police force refuses to provide you with a “Blam! Blam! Blam!” option, perhaps you should reconsider your career choice.
Just sayin’.