Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Quote Of The Day

Mocking Furriners, QOTD

From Teddy Dalrymple:

“With luck, the mass impoverishment that is quite likely to strike Great Britain in the near future will prevent the British from going abroad in any numbers, thus slightly raising the cultural level of the rest of the world.”

When I emigrated , the following was written on the Bon Voyage  card presented to me by my former colleagues:

“Kim is leaving South Africa for the United States, thus raising the average IQ of both countries.”

Who said statisticians have no sense of humor?

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Already?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Fuck-Me-It’s-Monday…

So to lighten the load, let’s get silly:

 

And to continue with the cultural thread:

And just to round off the misery, a classical reference:

That’s enough of that stuff.  Here’s a little beauty, someone aptly-named Nikki Bella:

And yes, I know she has a twin named Brie:

…and we’ll look at Brie some other time.  Promise.

Now go to work, just like Nikki’s doing.

3 Inexplicable Things About Brexit

3 Inexplicable Things, Mocking Furriners

The latest in this series:

  • Why it’s taken so long for the Brits to tell Germans, Frogs and other assorted Dago countries just to fuck off.
  • Why, after Brexit, the Brits will continue to use the European-spawned metric system instead of the fine Imperial one they themselves created.
  • Why there’s such a to-do about fishing territories.  Considering that the entire EU has a navy of a size comparable to Rhode Island’s, and even though the Royal Navy certainly isn’t what it used to be, I would have thought that the British negotiating position re: fishing would be:  “If you chaps fish where we don’t want you to fish, we’ll blow your ships out of the water.”

Feel free to express your own areas of puzzlement about Brexit in Comments.

News Roundup

Bad News

…summarized for your convenience.


…nobody laugh, because we’re quite capable of doing the same here.  Remember these assholes?


…“We had to kill a few people to save them from spreading Covid.”  Now where have I heard something like that before?


…wouldn’t pay 300 cents for it, but that’s just me.


…and she looks pretty much as you’d expect her to look.


…because only socialists can be racist, you see.


…there he goes, trying to live up to everyone’s expectations of him.  Moron.


…you have to sympathize with the photographer: 


That’s Mayor Lightweight with ILGov Fatboi in the background.  No matter which one you choose to blur, the pic’s going to be a fucking nightmare.

As an aside, I want to dispel the rumor that if you look the Mayor in the eye, you’ll be turned to stone.  I can guarantee that upon looking at her, not a single part of your body will start to harden.  To continue:


…they mean “testing”, but we’ve been down this road before.  Try saying “Tesco’s trialling trollies” six times in a row after a couple cocktails, I dare ya.


…thus completely ignoring anyone who did anything actually, you know, athletic over the past year.  Like anyone gives a flying fuck what Sports Illustrated thinks or does anyway.


…I know where it is:  it’s been smuggled into China.  Prove me wrong.


…and never an errant daisycutter bomb when you need one.  You’d think the Russkis would have been all over this target of opportunity, but noooo.

And if you think out TV is bad in the U.S., try the U.K.:

Here’s something from our TV to cheer you up (no, it’s not “The Hanging Of George Soros”  on Bravo, sorry):

Her name is Bárbara Bermudo and yes, she’s on that Mex channel, Univision.

I’m trying to be “inclusive”, here.