
Your suggestions in Comments.

Your suggestions in Comments.
Reader Brian H. set me this lovely piece of satire:

“I could find someone here in town as important as a bass player.”
Ohhhhh, that stings.

Atlantic Showband’s bass player, June 1977
In my defense, I should point out that at that particular gig I managed to bed a girl that at least two others in the band had tried it on with, and been rebuffed.
Here’s an absolute classic:
Furious driver throws £50 parking ticket on the floor – and gets fined £250 for littering
Of course, this is a Britishland special (clue: currency), and to be fair, the littering thing is a real problem Over There, hence the excessive fine.
The problem, however, is that if someone is found “dumping” (Brit-speak: “fly-tipping”), i.e. someone is caught emptying a truckload of old refrigerators or tires (tyres) on the side of a road or into a field, the fine for said offense is still £250 — which I put to you is not at all excessive, but in fact is inadequate. Of course, the effort involved in removing said litter in this case is considerably greater, i.e. more costly than simply picking up a discarded parking ticket.
I liked the response of a Brit farmer who caught someone dumping trash in his field, whereupon he put his tractor in gear and simply pushed (okay, crushed) the offender’s van against the stone wall. In a rare instance of actual British justice, he was not fined and when haled into court for “destruction of private property”, the magistrate basically told him not to do it again and stop being a bad boy: case dismissed, despite the anguished yowls of the fly-tipper who claimed that without his van, he was out of business. The response from the magistrate was brilliant: “If your business is fly-tipping, then the community is well rid of it.” (I wish I had a link, because the judge was actually funnier than my recollection provides.)
To return to the original offense for a moment: that excessive £250 fine for littering could be called a “spite fine”, and is very common amongst the law enforcement classes, may their socks rot and their daughters run off with rock musicians.
On the other hand, the meter maid got off lightly in that the angry motorist didn’t punch her in the face. I suspect that Milord Judge may not have been as relaxed in his judgment.
It’s a good thing that a) most of the time I worked in Corporate World, there was no email; and b) I only discovered this gem at Kenny’s yesterday:

There’s no telling how many times I would have used this as a response to 80% of the office memos I got. (“Only once, Kim.”)
Yeah, but it would have been totally worth it.

The coast at Con Con, Chile, 2004.
Read this story and see if you don’t get a slow burn, or even an RCOB:
An Australian small business owner says she lost about $50,000 after Instagram suspended her accounts over what she describes as an innocent photo of three dogs.
Rochelle Marinato, managing director at Pilates World Australia, recently received an email from Instagram’s parent company Meta stating her accounts had been suspended because the image breached community guidelines relating to ‘child sexual exploitation, abuse and nudity’.
The photo had been mistakenly flagged by an AI moderator which confused the image of the dogs with those of children.
She appealed the decision and sent 22 emails to Meta, but received no assistance from the global tech giant, which owns Instagram, Facebook, Threads, Messenger and WhatsApp.
Ms Marinato claimed her story was just one of many and that the problem was widespread.
She also said it was impossible to talk to a human at Meta to explain her situation.
‘I couldn’t get a human to look at it. Clearly any human that looks at this photo is going to know it’s completely innocent,’ she said.
‘You can’t contact a human at Meta. There’s no phone number, there’s no email, there’s nothing and you’re literally left in the dark.’
To paraphrase Insty: And Skynet smirks.