Seen somewhere:
I was banging a Persian girl for a while. When we would get sweaty from sexing I swore she smelled like lawnmower exhaust. It had that oil burning with gas mixture kind of smell. I think it may have been from her diet. Now whenever the neighbors are mowing the lawn I get a massive erection. I wish that last part weren’t true. F*** you Pavlov.
Priceless.
I don’t know what gets me more: the tangential reference to Pavlov, the body odor of lawnmower exhaust, or the word “sexing”…
From Stephen Green at Insty:
“Democrats are proving themselves the Kremlin’s more-than-useful idiots.”
As always, not just in this case.
From the Department of the Blindingly Obvious comes this realization from Simon Heffer of the Daily Telegraph:
“This Tory Party is not a conservative party.”
As we say in Texas: “Ya thank?”
What gave you your first clue, Simon? The announcement that the government was going to end combustion engines in cars without having the infrastructure planned to accommodate millions of electric cars? That people can decide for themselves what gender they are, and change their documents accordingly, with the Tory government’s approval? And, and, and… [300 examples of (not-very) Conservative Party policies excluded]
Let us never forget that British citizens were disarmed of their handguns by the Conservative Party, not Labour.
The Conservative Party in the U.K. would be, if seated in our Congress, a party of well-left-of-center Democrats. They couldn’t conserve rainwater in a bucket without spilling most of it.
Seen in a unisex toilet stall not far from here:
“If you’re angry because I left the seat up after taking a pee, have a feminist explain to you why you have exactly the same right as a man to touch the filthy thing.”
Sic semper feministae.
From Johnny Depp:
“Flying commercial would be a fucking nightmare.”
Note the subjunctive: Depp has a private jet. So would anyone with sufficient funds, because TSA.
And yes, I’m familiar with the trenchant and cynical Rich Man’s Maxim: “If it flies, floats or fucks, it’s cheaper to rent than to buy.”
And yes (Part Two), I know that Depp is a fuckup of a human being. Don’t care. He gets the (John) Barrymore Exemption because he’s a brilliant, exceptional actor.
From some unknown British woman, screaming at a random Muslim guy:
“Do you wanna know why I’m being racist? In my own country? Because it’s your race that’s blowing up our fucking nation!”
You know, in a strange way, she makes perfect sense. Look, I know that “Muslim” is not a race — but it’s the Muzzies (and liberal asswipes) who’ve turned it into a racial issue, instead of a religious and/or cultural one. Every time a Muslim screams “racism” when in fact someone is taking issue with their fucking 9th-century death cult, they’re leaving themselves open to shit like this.
And as for the Muslim feeling unsafe in his own country: how exactly do you think British Anglos (for want of a better term) feel, when children get blown up at a pop concert and pedestrians get stabbed outside the Houses of Parliament by Muslim fuckheads? (And they are, most definitely, Muslims, by the way, despite attempts at whitewashing by the liberal media.) Do you think they feel safe? And yes: when you set yourselves up in little Muslim-only ghettoes and neighborhoods where non-Muslim women feel threatened just for wearing a minskirt, when Muslim men set up entire pedophile clubs “because these are infidel girls, so it’s okay”, then how the fuck do you think people are going to treat you? Like one of their own?
Given what Islam has wrought in Britain over the past twenty years, let me tell you: I’m on this woman’s side more than I am on the random Muslim’s.