Here’s something I’d like to try, just to test y’all’s creativity and sense of humor: “Caption This Picture”. (The captions can be as dark, stupid, outrageous or smutty as you want, I don’t care.) If this idea proves to be popular and / or makes me laugh, then I’ll make it a regular feature.
Take a look at the picture below, and add your own caption in Comments.
Ranked in ascending order of foulness, as usual:
- Your ex-wife / ex-husband, accompanied by someone much better-looking than you
- Four old girlfriends / boyfriends (bonus points if it’s your wedding reception)
- A vegan-only buffet
- An Irish folk band on stage
- An alcohol-free bar
Your contributions in Comments.
Ranked in ascending order of awfulness, as always:
- She hates guns
- She worked on Hillary Clinton’s campaign in 2016
- She’s a militant vegan
- She has a really fun story about how she acquired her latest(!!) tattoo
- She owns four cats
(If she checks all five boxes, you may have to kill yourself just to escape the date.)
- He still lives with mommy
- He’s a Muslim
- He hates guns
- He thinks Trump is literally worse than Hitler
- He has to leave the date early to go to an antifa rally
Your own contributions in Comments. Bonus points if you’ve ever discovered these things on an actual first date.
In ascending order of awfulness:
- A scalpel
- a lock of her old boyfriend’s hair
- …and when you’ve had a vasectomy:
– a six-pack of condoms, and/or
– an empty pregnancy test box
- Bill Clinton’s “business” card
Your own suggestions in Comments. And no looking in your wife’s purse, either.
Ranked in ascending order of awfulness:
- CD box set of “Frank Sinatra: The Vegas Years”
- $100 gift card for Crabtree & Evelyn
- DVD box set of Girls
- “No Meat, Ever: A Vegan Cookbook”
- Divorce papers
Your own suggestions in Comments. Bonus points if you’ve ever actually received any of them.
For men or women:
- The seaside (where you’ll soon discover why sandpaper used to be made with beach sand)
- Lena Dunham’s bedroom
- Any public restroom
- On an active movie set or at a frat house party (pretty much the same thing, nowadays)
- Harvey Weinstein’s hotel room
Your suggestions in Comments. Extra points if it’s a place where you actually had sex for the first time.