And we begin today’s Roundup with someone who really needs to rub one out:
...”stand up against”? We all voted for sick and cruel deportations, you dumb bint.
And another one who needs rubbing out, so to speak:
...nobody cares what you think, you degenerate, corrupt Commie fuck. You’re the American equivalent of Tony Blair: an unwanted has-been, all of whose destructive policies should long ago have been tossed into the gutter where they belonged.
And speaking of Obamas:
…
...because like Hillary Clinton, you only got your (undeserved) fame because you happened to marry someone who went on to become President. Otherwise, you’d still be an anonymous functionary in some Chicago hospital… maybe.
More candidates for the above treatment:
…
From the Department of Irony:
...they don’t hate the speech; genetically, they just have no sense of humor.
#AskRobinWilliams
Some Lawn Order News:
...so just harpoon the motherfucker. Sheesh, do I have to think of everything?
Update: they killed him anyway, with the needle, without any problems.
#JusticeIsDone
7,000-Year-Old Female Corpses Found In Remote Grave
...all clutching papyrus sheets bearing Epstein’s client list, no doubt.
From the Department of Education:
...now if he’d just bonked Mommy, there’d be nothing to report. Dumbass.
...and of course it’s all Hubbeeeee’s fault.
Hot off the #MeeeTwooo presses:
Helen Mirren: The James Bond Movies Are Sexist
...really? What was your first clue, Hel?
And as we plunge ever deeper into the waters of 
...not at all bad for 69 I mean 59 (although 69 would be nice too, if you get my drift):
And some others, just for kicks:
