Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Long Waits

Housekeeping

Every so often I come across a meme, cartoon or expression which makes me chortle… except that it is extremely date- or time specific, and can only be posted at a certain time or on a specific date, e.g.

So I have a folder on my system called “Date Specific” which contains all of those, and inside are sub-folders with names like “Tax Day 04-15”, “National Ammo Day 11-19” and so on, in which I keep said objects.

So a couple days ago (May 5) Reader Steve D. (who is, I think, Hispanic) sent me an email which contained the following:

Bravo, Steve.  It took me a minute, of course, because Sinko Da Mayo is amazingly not a date which resonates with me, particularly as it isn’t as relevant to me as dates such as a former South African client’s daughter’s birth date (don’t ask, I never even met her) or the day I first French-kissed a girl (December 17, 1968) and so on.

Anyway.

The only problem (for me, anyway) is that I have to keep a mental note of annual calendar dates so that I can post the appropriate entry — and given my advanced state of age-related mental diffusion, that’s becoming increasingly difficult.

Which sucks, because if I happen to miss the date and fail to post the thing, I have to wait a whole damn year before it becomes relevant again.

Here’s one I missed last July 4th, for instance:

Please forgive this addled old blogger…

News Roundup

Bad News

Better than Scotch?  I think not.  But anyway:


...give us a zip code for the impact area.  Oh, you can’t?  Never mind then.

And in Business News:


...anyone seen what happened to their stock price recently?  Yeah, it went back up to January 2024 levels.


...and guess what?  It’s the only part of Microsoft’s code that actually works as intended.


...because it’s a well-known fact that innovation thrives under a monopoly.
#FuckingLiar

In Police Files:


...what happened to “terminating” or “prosecuting”?


...not a bad start.  Eleven hundred down, eleventy millions to go.

And in Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© news:


...and in other news, the funeral for Irony will be held on Friday.  And still on the topic of Cute Lil’ Animules:


...”horror moment”?  How about “amidst mocking cheers and laughter”?


...missing from the headline:  “Following massive bush fires which destroyed the koalas’ entire food supply and severely burned most of them…”

And in Sex Wars:


...I bet she can differentiate them better than you can, fairy Boy.


...which would be unremarkable except for the fact that Our Wayne was born in Liverpool and played for Manchester United for well over a decade.

And now [drum roll]…

And as we stroll down :

World Cup’s hottest fan looks unrecognizable with dramatic new look as she wears bold F1-themed bra to Miami Grand Prix
...don’t know who she is?  Well, here we see her at the Miami GP:

...and here she was at the World Cup:

 

Gives us a whole new perspective on the word “streetwalker”, huh?

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Does this mean it’s Monday and back-to-work time?

And in our weekly diary:

Back to the usual stuff:

And to end all this with something(s) worth looking at:

Now go and do that stuff you do every Monday morning.  Have one for me while you’re there.

Please Sir, May I Have Another?

Elections, Mocking Furriners

Well, it seems as though our cousins in the Great White Place have decided that a dozen-odd (very odd) years of Justin Castreaux’s “leadership” were not enough, and have elected his replacement Mark Carney as their next Chief Wokist.

Carney, it should be recalled, was the former head of the Bank of England who will be forever remembered as the man who nearly destroyed Britain’s economy during that messy Brexit business.  Prior to that, he was governor of the Bank of Canuckistan, and is widely seen as the reason housing prices rocketed and ordinary Canuckis ended up with higher debt — the highest ever, as it turned out.  (In fairness, his policies enabled Canuckistan to weather the 2008 global recession in terms of its GDP, but at the expense of said Canuckis, who are still trying to deal with high housing costs.  I report, you decide.)

I have told the tale of back when I was still consulting, we independent consultants had a rule never to work with a startup whose principal officers (CEO, CFO or COO) had a Harvard MBA.  Carney doesn’t have one of those, but his degree in Economics comes from the same institution.  Draw your own conclusions.

There’s more, much more, including his assistance in getting South Africa (!) to participate in international bond markets while he was employed by the infamous Goldman Sachs, of the 2008 global crisis fame, although it should be noted that he left GS five years before that.

By the way, his family is a poster-child for ultra-wokery — not that this should be a disqualifier, of course, but it does point to what he comes home to every night.

Anyway, this economics whiz* is the man Canuckis have elected to be their Prime Minister for the foreseeable future, and his first public statement as PM was a strong anti-Trump message, which means that it’s unlikely that Canuckistan will ever become our 51st state.

So in that, at any rate, we Murkins can breathe a sigh of relief.

*Just FYI, the word whiz  is also a euphemism for a stream of piss.