Glueball Wormening Warning #3,572

Apparently everyone who lives within fifty miles of a beach is soon going to be drowned because of rising sea levels caused by SUVs, the Koch brothers and plastic straws, etc.  At best, yer house is going to float away.

The oceans could swell nearly seven feet by the end of the century – destroying the homes of almost 200 million people, according to new research.
It would wipe out over a million square miles of farming and other food producing lands – having ‘profound consequences for humanity.’
This is over twice as much as previous ‘doomsday’ predictions – suggesting the world really is facing a global warming ‘apocalypse.’
The shock finding is based on a technique called structured expert judgment (SEJ) that pooled the knowledge of 22 climate change specialists.

…none of whom have any kind of agenda or may derive government funding to further their “research”, of course.  [/sarc]

As for “structured expert judgement”:  can anyone think of a better euphemism for average guesswork  than this one?

And here’s where the fun begins.  Apparently, SMOD is now a glacier:

Global sea levels could rise as much as 10ft (3 metres) if the Thwaites Glacier in West Antarctica collapses.
Sea level rises threaten cities from Shanghai to London, to low-lying swathes of Florida or Bangladesh, and to entire nations such as the Maldives.
In the UK, for instance, a rise of 6.7ft (2 metres) or more may cause areas such as Hull, Peterborough, Portsmouth and parts of east London and the Thames Estuary at risk of becoming submerged.
The collapse of the glacier, which could begin with decades, could also submerge major cities such as New York and Sydney.

So, SUVs etc. are going to cause the Thwaites Glacier to melt away and drown us all?  Before we all start to panic, exchange the old F-150 for a Prius and head for the Appalachians, let’s acknowledge that said glacier is melting — just not because of anything we’re doing.  According to the Oracle Watts:

The Thwaites Glacier has been the focus of considerable attention in recent weeks as other groups of researchers found the glacier is on the way to collapse, but more data and computer modeling are needed to determine when the collapse will begin in earnest and at what rate the sea level will increase as it proceeds. The new observations by [University of Texas Institute of Geophysics] will greatly inform these ice sheet modeling efforts.
Using radar techniques to map how water flows under ice sheets, UTIG researchers were able to estimate ice melting rates and thus identify significant sources of geothermal heat under Thwaites Glacier. They found these sources are distributed over a wider area and are much hotter than previously assumed.
The geothermal heat contributed significantly to melting of the underside of the glacier, and it might be a key factor in allowing the ice sheet to slide, affecting the ice sheet’s stability and its contribution to future sea level rise. [my emphasis]
The cause of the variable distribution of heat beneath the glacier is thought to be the movement of magma and associated volcanic activity arising from the rifting of the Earth’s crust beneath the West Antarctic Ice Sheet.

Put simply, for Men Of Simple Brain such as myself:  the Thwaites Glacier is melting, but there’s sweet fuck all anyone can do about it.  Unless swapping the F-150 for a Prius will prevent tectonic plate shift, that is.  (I’m going to shut up now before I give these climate loons any ideas.)

Frankly, any natural event which drowns all of NYFC, Lawn Guyland and Joizee City can’t be all  bad…


  1. “…computer modeling…”

    Remember watching Sat morning cartoons as a kid?
    Then you aged a couple years and found them boring and not real.

    I use a CAD program named AutoCAD everyday and I create computer models on it. The models look very realistic and detailed right down to the keyholes in the doorknobs and the forks in the drawer. Then the female client says she wants a bay window in the kitchen which fucks up the floor framing members in the 2nd floor and the whole thing collapses. One little alteration changed everything.

    Careful with that computer modeling Vern, afterall, it’s JUST a model and never meant to represent reality. Models are pixels but reality can be touched by your fingers.

    1. The thing is that with modelling software like AutoCad if you put in good data you get a solid, real world model of what will happen.

      The *models* that the Catastrophic Anthroprogenic Global Warming folks are pushing are broken in several ways. The first is that even IF the code they wrote was good it doesn’t account adequately for things like…vulcanism, variations in solar input into the system, and may other more minor factors.

      The thing is that if you talk to people who really know how to program at a systems level (not “took a class in college and do websites”, but “spent a lifetime working on mission critical code”) the code that the Warmists use to generate their models is…it’s bad. Really bad. As in “you don’t want this in your webpage, much less your GPS”.

      1. Yup. I was involved with designing supermarket promotion forecasting models which were rejected if below 90% accuracy, at “atomic” (SKUs per customer per transaction) level.
        The models that the climate loons suggest will forecast climate behavior would have been laughed out of the room.

  2. Coastal dwellers cannot move away from the waters rising a miserable 7 feet with 80 years in which to do it? I could do it on my hands and knees.

    If I live that long, and the earth warms as promised, I’m going up to the North West Territories and homesteading a 1000 square mile ranch on suddenly fertile and warm tundra.

    Sane Canadians welcome warming. I have long suspected that Russia does too and those clever buggers always play a long game. Global warming would turn Siberia and the Canadian north into agricultural super-powers.

  3. In these clutch your pearls, Mabel discussions…..I always like to draw attention to a much more interesting TEOTWAWKI scenario….EXPLODING PLANETS ! …..look that sucker up. Then try hard to not laugh at lesser endings.

  4. So… my 1968 Ford pick-up truck, with it’s gas swilling V-8 engine and 4-speed transmission, is somehow causing the magma beneath the South Pole to mix around and well up and melt some damn glacier I’ve never heard of until now.

    Well, pardon the absolute hell out of me, but so what?

    Most of the places listed as being in danger from the increased water levels could use a good flushing, if you ask me.

  5. A seven foot rise in sea level might inconvenience those wealthy enough to afford beach-side property. My little piece of California has an elevation 749 feet and would be a better place to live without the coastal liberals.

  6. Recently, one of our respected legislady types (a 61 yo funeral director) announced she was pushing a bill to allow 14 yos to get vaccinated sans parental consent.

    It is ostensibly about measles outbreaks (and NO ONE ever sees the real vectors inherent in fence jumpers). What it really does is open the doors for Gardasil to be distributed freely, and damn the (intended) consequences.

    They think they know everything and desire absolute control. Freedom has become a mere rhetorical hammer to keep the nails in place.

    I hate them.

  7. Sorry, but back to sea levels…really.

    I really must wonder at the purpose of school. Not “learnin’” or “education” but why a structured program? So kids can be programmed on the panic button.

    We’re not completely helpless in certain aspects, but in grand, global matters, is my plastic straw going to matter? The sun, the moon, the earth, the stars that they all they worship so fervently, will do as they will, my bamboo utensils or not.

    Wiping out a few coastal Blue Holds mightn’t be all that bad. Zeus commanded Poseidon to do as much when he was angered by human excess.

  8. When I was a youngster at school in the 1950’s we had several things that scared us, one was tornado’s which were real and then there was the atom bomb, real but while I have seen several tornados I have yet to see a bomb explosion – duck and cover and we practiced that. Then those in the know in the 1960’s and 70’s told us we were going to have and ice age before the end of the century and the population was going to explode and I never saw that happen we got more people but they did not explode. In the 1980’s going into the 90’s some folks got aids which was bad stuff and the prediction was that aids was spreading fast with both homo and heterosexuals and there were not going to be enough hospital beds and we were all going to die and a few of my homosexual friends did die but the rest of us did not die while the whole wide world was warming up so fast there would never be snow skiing by 2000 and polar bears were dying. Now we have climate change every time it rains or does not rain and on and on with the freak’n gloom and doom and they scare the crap out of kids in school telling them the truth that conservatives don’t want to save the world or something.

    Meanwhile I am glad that the oceans maybe will only rise seven feet in the next 80 years because for some reason the ice will move and by the way, in 1959 I had a man spend about two hours telling my 14 year old self about the fact that the polar ice caps were melting and soon all the major coastal cities would be underwater and the world as we know it would be coming to an end. My feelings about all that then, as they are now are why are you telling me this shit because I couldn’t fix it even if I thought it was real, which I don’t, so go away and leave me and mine alone.

    1. What he said!

      I raise a glass to you, OldTexan, for saying what I’ve been saying for so many of my years, and then one for myself, for being right all those years. Then I’ll raise one to Global Warming.

      Then I think I’ll go sit on the patio and enjoy this fine Spring climate change.

  9. I live in the middle of the usa and have enough bullets to stave off a horde. two not so much but one we should be able to deal with.

    Let it rise. I’ve yet to see any doom and gloom scenario actually work out at the micro level, forget the macro level.

    Don’t spend more than you make and keep stuff for a rainy day. Money, Beans, Band-aids and bullets. Should handle about anything that comes your way.

  10. Going out now to light an unnecessary charcoal fire. Maybe I’ll idle my truck for a few hours, too.


    Minnesotans For Global Warming

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