Tag: Things of beauty

Art, music, whatever

When Does It Become Obscene?

Fashion

Surfing on a bellyboard along the waves of Teh Intarwebz, I was struck by something, and not for the first time.

Readers of this corner will of course be familiar with golf hottie Paige Spirinac, who possesses quite possibly one of the best female bodies around, as evidenced in these pics:

Now here’s the thing.  While young Paige’s derrière is by no means underrepresented, it’s not by any means over-large, e.g.

So why have huge buttocks become a thing?

Maybe the trend started with screechy pop star Jennifer Lopez:

… and was amplified [sic]  by the awful Kim Kardashian (who has never been slow to ride a trend, so to speak):

It seems, however, that this trend has no upper limit — and I speak not of all-over fatties like Lizzo, but of “Playboy models” like this one:

It’s been decades since I looked at a Playboy, but if this is the trend of their models, it will be decades more before I do it again, if ever.  Horrible.

Another example is “plus-size” model Ashley Graham, who despite having an exquisitely-beautiful face, has a backside that would fill a school bus:

Among African tribes, a large pair of buttocks is a feature of attractiveness, because it speaks not only of fertility but also of the owner thereof being well nourished (a source of pride for their husbands as providers).

But that’s in Africa.  We live in the West, and have a European standard of beauty.  And I speak not of ultra-skinnies and the like (that being more a creation of homosexual fashion designers), but of women who have proportional statistics.

Here’s actress Sasha Alexander, for instance, who has what I would consider a decent set of proportions:

Note:  no inflated breasts, nor a bulbous backside.  Another example?  Sure, why not?  Here’s the rather Mumsy-looking Laura Hamilton, who in in her forties and has two kids:

Let me say in summary that I’m not asking for women to strive for some impossible ideal of beauty:  anything but.

What I’m asking for is proportion, and not grotesqueries.

And yes, I’m familiar with the contradiction of all the above, considering that  pneumatic sexagenarian Carol Vorderman often appears on my back porch:

…as does the equally-balloony Kelly Brook:

What can I say?  I’m a sucker for a pretty face.

Model Failure

Fashion

Yesterday I received another one of those email ads trying to get me to spend more money.  I was about to junk it, when something caught my eye, to wit, this:

Great Aphrodite’s bleeding eyeballs, when did models turn away from being beautiful and into heffalumps like the above?

Yeah I know, “body positivity” and all that Womynz Issues stuff, but seriously?

Here’s something for the Fashion Industry to ponder.  Somewhere between this:

… and this:

…is a happy medium — basically, a women not emaciated or boyish, and not a fucking blimp either, but a woman who looks more like a happy medium, i.e. not like this:

…but more like this: 

The latter girl, by the way, is not a model, but just a random pic of an ordinary person taken from a newspaper — with an acceptably-pretty face, and a decent-but-not-perfect body.  That, I would suggest, is more of a happy medium than what we’re having shoved in our faces today.

Fuck their “body positivity” and all that jive.  If I’m going to be persuaded to buy something, I just want to see it presented in an agreeable form.

And this from a man who actually prefers zaftig  women over skinnies.  But I have my limits, and modern advertising has stepped well over them.  Here’s the latest such offering:

I love Miriam Margolyes beyond words… but as a model?  No.

If I want to see ugly women, I’ll go to WalMart.

Different List

Good Stuff

The Daily Mail  has published its list of the Top 39 (?) Beautiful Moments of the last one hundred years.  Of course, a lot of the things they celebrate are among the events I’d have added to my list of the worst moments in the past century (e.g. election of Obama), but there ya go.

Here’s my list of beautiful moments (since Jan 1, 1923, in chronological order).

  1. 1923: Calvin Coolidge inaugurated
  2. 1940: Battle of Britain
  3. 1945:  VE- and VJ Day
  4. 1947: AK-47 first submitted for USSR military trials
  5. 1963: getting my first air rifle (birthday present)
  6. 1964: Beatles release A Hard Day’s Night  album
  7. 1967: Beatles release Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band  album
  8. 1968: first Shakespearean acting gig (in Hamlet)
  9. 1968: French-kissed a girl for the first time
  10. 1969: Moon landing with Neil Armstrong / Buzz Aldrin
  11. 1970: bought my first beer (age 15, Castle Inn, Hillbrow, Jhb)
  12. 1971: lost my virginity
  13. 1971: first played on stage to an audience (rhythm guitar)
  14. 1971: member of team competing on S.A. schools’ radio quiz (we won)
  15. 1971: graduated St. John’s College (First)
  16. 1972: arrested during anti-apartheid demonstration
  17. 1972: bought my first two centerfire guns (Mauser 98K, Llama XI 9mm pistol)
  18. 1973: first professional music gig
  19. 1974: co-founded Pussyfoot Show Band (later Atlantic Show Band)
  20. 1976: bought a Rickenbacker 4001S bass guitar
  21. 1979: first apartment (solo)
  22. 1979: joined A.C. Nielsen
  23. 1980: Ronald Reagan elected
  24. 1980: Borg-McEnroe Wimbledon final
  25. 1981: Hill Street Blues first episode aired
  26. 1981: slept with four different women over a single weekend
  27. 1982: first marriage
  28. 1982: visited America for the first time
  29. 1983: first extramarital fling
  30. 1984: first presentation to the Board of a major client
  31. 1985: bought my first computer (Apple IIe)
  32. 1986: emigrated to America
  33. 1989: Berlin Wall came down
  34. 1989: birth of the Son&Heir
  35. 1997: my first trip to London
  36. 1999: published my first novel (Vienna Days)
  37. 2015: B.A. degree (summa ) in Western European History (UNT)
  38. 2016: Donald Trump elected
  39. 2017: met New Wife again, after over 40 years apart