Me Myself I – Page 18 – Splendid Isolation

Getting Taller

March 11, 2020 Kim du Toit Two-Minute Hate

As some comedian once said, the principle behind Daylight Savings Time is the same as the belief that you can get taller by cutting off your head and then standing on it.

[pause to let that visual dissipate]

Let me tell you why I hate this bloody nonsense with a passion.

We have, in our little abode, well over a dozen clocks which do not self-adjust like laptops or smartphones do (I like and collect clocks). This means that twice a year I have to prowl around the house like a hyena seeking a dead zebra, rooting out clocks and changing the damn hour hand or else pushing buttons on electric alarm clocks etc. “Pain in the ass” barely begins to cover it. And somehow, I always manage to miss one, which causes me aggravation later (could be a week later) when I discover the omission.
Because we are an international family, with friends and family scattered all over the globe, I have had to resort to stern measures to keep up with this situation, ergo a wall decoration in the living room:

I think you can see the problem, can’t you? The U.S. and the U.K. change their times on different dates, South Africa only uses one time (gawd knows how much they’d fuck up changing clocks and times… they operate on “African time” as it is), and as for Australia it’s even worse: some states observe DST while others choose not to.

As I am a man of advanced age, little brain and severe deficiency in patience, I think you’ll get where I’m going with this.

I’m always reminded of the classic exchange from Cheech & Chong:

“Hey, hippie… wanna buy a watch?”
“Uuuhhhhh… no, man; I’m not into time.”

Wish I could be that way.

Meanwhile In Texas

March 11, 2020 Kim du Toit Good Stuff

I confess to being a tad parochial when I see headlines like this:

‘Oil price war,’ coronavirus could drive gas prices below $2 gallon

I’ve been paying around $1.85 for over a month — and below $2 since early January. As much as I hope the lower prices won’t blow the fracking industry up, I’m enjoying the benefits of a lower cost of business — so gawd knows how the trucking industry must feel about it.

I note, however, that the godless airline industry — ever quick to raise prices when the gas price spikes — have not yet reduced their fares. Pricks.

Not Much To See Here

February 4, 2020 Kim du Toit Housekeeping

Last Saturday, while doing some routine maintenance on Ye Olde Lappe Toppe, I somehow managed to delete almost all my bookmarks. This means I’ve lost my map to the Internet (which isn’t too much hassle) as well as the shortcuts to every single bit of research I’ve ever done since the world / Internet was young (which is a huge hassle).

The only saving grace (if it can be called that) is that my critical links (banking, rent, taxes etc.) were in a different bookmark folder and were spared destruction.

Fuck.

As such, I’ll be trying to rebuild my online heritage, so to speak, over the next week or two, and thus may take even longer than usual to respond to emails and such than normal. Please bear with me in my Tyme of Troubles:

…and keep sending those entries in for the ULD Rifle.

Also, no chiding me for failing to back up the Bookmarks file — easy in MS Windows (which I haven’t used in about three years), NOT so easy using Chrome, as it turns out.

There are times when I’m so fucking stupid…

[exit, punching self in face]

Policy Changes

January 3, 2020 Kim du Toit Housekeeping

I forgot to post this earlier because New Year Malaise, but here it is.

Firstly: I have always restricted my post times to early morning (around 6am Central). While this will continue — there will always be something for the Early Birds to read — I’m going to spread things out a little, especially when it comes to news and current events. This post is one of them. Next item:

Mostly, I resist reserving certain days for specific topics — other than the Monday Funnies and Friday’s Caption Competitions, of course. These will continue ad infinitum / nauseam.

Starting this weekend, however, the following will become standard:

Saturdays will feature (more or less exclusively) Guy Stuff: guns, cars and tools (actual tools, not Democrat politicians), in varying assortments and combinations. The default will be a Gratuitous Gun Pic. On occasion, however, I might also post something about classical literature, music or fine art. Call it “Kim’s Culture Day”: gun culture, car culture, High Culture, whatever.
Sundays will be devoted, as in days of yore, exclusively to pics of beautiful women. This will be in what I’ve labeled as “Kim’s Sesame Street”, in which there will be sundry pictures of beautiful women of all ages and periods of history, collated by the first letter of their Christian names — e.g. this Sunday could feature Ann-Margret, Amy Adams or Anna Magnani etc., while next Sunday might contain Brigitte Bardot, Barbara Mori, Blaze Starr and so on. The poses will always be sexy but mostly decorous (unless I succumb to Foul Male Lust and show boobs ‘n things).

Neither of the above will prevent me from posting pictures of similar nature during the week, of course, but weekday fare will consist of the usual snarling invective, ill-tempered rants and in general, my habitual shaking of the fist at authority figures, stupid people and Socialists [considerable overlap].

I trust this meets with general approval, but if it doesn’t, c’est la vie, as always.

One thing will not change: I don’t do guest posts, or do link swaps to other websites, so if you’re one of those assholes who loves the content of this place, sees a fit (because of a single article I once wrote) and wants to post something about fashion design, don’t bother. This is a one-man show.

And lastly: tonight’s Friday Night Music (which will not be a weekly fixture) features a musical composer of astonishing talent, except you probably never heard of him.