I think what pisses me off most about modern-day “petty” crime is not the robbery of cell phones from people’s hands, or the theft of cars for the sake of a “joyride”, or even the painting of graffiti on walls — although each one in its own way renders me irritated beyond belief. Try these “petty” crimes, however, and see how they make you feel:
Arsonists destroy 250-year-old oak tree that has stood since George II was on the throne
Hunt for yobs who vandalised model town and brutally kicked a cat in the head as they made their escape
Mindless vandals wreck a charity model railway show
Correction to that last piece: they’re not mindless; they’re amoral, antisocial and spiteful, and their vile actions are those of childish anarchists.
Unlike a lot of people (especially on this website), I don’t think these little shits should go to prison for these crimes — although there’s a lot to be said for taking them out of society for a while.
What’s needed here is for these childish hooligans to be treated like children — but not in the modern manner of making them sit in the Penalty Corner or “grounding” them (whatever that means).
Prison’s too much punishment, they (usually) have no money to pay restitution, and “community service” is a fucking joke when by their actions they have demonstrated that they have no ties to the community whatsoever.
No. We need to bring back flogging, because that ancient punishment is precisely what these kinds of actions call for. We need to catch these assholes, make sure they’re guilty (of course), and then immediately after sentencing lead them off to a punishment cell where they can be given ten lashes with a heavy cane. (And for the feministicals: female miscreants of this nature, although much rarer than their male counterparts, should get the same punishment, except with a light cane. Feel free to insist on equality for the womyns, however; I’m not feeling too charitable at the moment.)
I know, corporal punishment is supposed to be barbaric and all that. Remember, though, that the reason that these horrible people are called “vandals” is because their behavior is of a kind with the ancient and barbaric tribe named Vandals — and we should punish them accordingly.
The hell with them.