Category: Funny Stuff

3 Inexplicable Things

3 Inexplicable Things, Funny Stuff

Haven’t had one of these for a while, so here goes:

3 People who should have retired a LONG time ago, but haven’t.

  • Dog The Bounty Hunter — FFS, he’s like 200 years old, still epitomizes White Trash with that trailerpark hairdo and bad-boy-gay clothing which would get him thrown out of any respectable biker gang.  And his schtick is older than my withered ass.

  • Joan Collins — another oldie well past her sell-by date, but still acts and dresses like she’s 25.

  • Nancy Pelosi — this drunken old gargoyle continues to cling to power long after she’s made enough money from it to last four lifetimes, and done more than her fair share to make the U.S. a socialist country.

Feel free to add your suggestions to substitute for the above, but they’d have to be really good to beat this lot.

Choices, Choices

Deep Thoughts, Funny Stuff

Found this at Knuckledragger’s place, and it got me thinking:

If the next meteorite was going to strike a U.S. city, which one would get your vote?

Suggestions in Comments, with a BRIEF rationale.

Unless you nominate Washington D.C., San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Seattle or Portland.  Then no explanation is necessary

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

This Monday, things are looking up…

Let’s dodge the Monday Falling Anvils with a joke or two:

And from Over There in Britishland:

…and back here in Murka:

And back in the U.K… this is Addison Rae Ellis:

She seems nice.  No, I have no idea who she is or what she does, either.

Funny As Hell

Funny Stuff, Men & Women

Apparently, some guy had an argument with his girlfriend, and the next day left her an “I’m sorry” offering of presents, along with a note which made me giggle like a schoolgirl:

“The chocolates are cos I love you.
“The flowers are cos I’m sorry.
“The Tampax is cos I’m still not sure why I’m apologising so I guess you’ll need these any day now.”

Needless to say, some people have failed to see the humor in it because, as we all know, no woman has ever been pre-menstrually irritable.

Of course, it’s only going to make things worse for him, as all experienced men will acknowledge, but it’s worth it.

Oh, and for those who think it’s “passive-aggressive”, what would you think if he’d just plonked down a box of Tampax and his note read, “Take one and call me in the morning.”

Now that’s  aggressive.

Oz Reich (4)

Gummint, Mocking Furriners

Looks as though the worm is starting to turn in Oz:

Wild scenes broke out in Richmond as a group of hooligans clashed with police trying to contain the violent ‘freedom rally’ march.

…with predictable results:

Police arrested 235 people and while most were taken away for breaching health directions, some were charged with assault, riotous behaviour and weapons and drug offences. Each will be fined $5,452, with 193 infringements handed out so far.

Naturally, police blamed the Deplorables:

‘Angry aggressive young males (were) there to fight the police, not to protest about freedoms,’ he told the media late on Saturday.

Then again, I myself might have turned into an “aggressive male” (i.e. man) had I witnessed thuggery such as this:

An elderly woman was shoved to the ground and doused with pepper spray by two policemen during the Melbourne anti-lockdown riot. The woman was bowled over by the two cops before they fired the spray directly on her face as she lay defenceless on the road trying to shield her eyes.

Because this is Oz, public opinion was divided into two camps, i.e. “bastards” and “she deserved it for breaking the law”.

Please join me in a couple minutes’ silence to allow the RCOB to subside.

Note to the various OzGovs:  “breaking the law” means things like murder, robbery and violence towards the undeserving.  Protesting against totalitarian government is NOT breaking the law except in totalitarian countries like Iran and Communist China.

And now, it seems, Australia.