News Roundup

All the news that’s fit to shorten, like 5′ tall Kylie Minogue.

ahhh there’s nothing like young loveYou may all puke, now.

ChiComs apologize for error;  missile was actually aimed at a Uighur village 200 miles away.

Aberdeen, Glasgow, it doesn’t matter;  nobody south of the River Tweed can understand either of them.

more good news for the anti-gun crowd.

at least he has supporters — unlike you, Mayor Butt-Boy.

change “two-thirds” into “99.999%”, and we’ll all be happy.

good questionEnjoy the fruits of your labors, Minnesoduh assholes.

but is still younger than Willie Nelson’s little swimmers.

from the numbers, “Anywhere else” seems to be the answer.

didn’t Lady Gagging or whatever she calls herself already do this?


  1. I’ve got to disagree with you on prison sentencing: if a prisoner truly repents and reforms then they deserve to get out early.


    It seems that all too often, though, early release is used to keep prison numbers down.

    1. Sorry, but “truly repents” doesn’t belong in a legal code. Do the crime, do the time.

      And that’s especially true of the scumbags we’re talking about.

      1. As George Clooney’s character said in “O Brother, where art thou?” after the other two escaped con idiots are baptized in a river, “Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi’s a little more hard-nosed. Repentance is between you and God.”

        The ones who find religion in prison can sleep soundly knowing they won’t go to hell for what they’ve done, but they’ll still sleep in prison.

  2. Man dumps wife, marries mother-in-law: Poor clod! Are there no taverns in his world where he could run this idea past a bartender before he went all stupid?

    Chinese rocket: To quote Maxwell Smart: “Missed it by that much!”

    Overwhelming gun background checks: I can only hope that the newbie Leftist gun owner wannabies are having as much fun dealing with the bureaucracy as the rest of us. Welcome to Jumping Through the Hoops.

    On Buttigieg: Is he still here? Why? And could someone please explain to me why his fuggily mug is showing up on FOX News more and more often? He reminds me of when the cat forgets to finish burying his business in the box.

    On the question as to where are the police in Minnesota: When you beat a dog often enough that it won’t come near you any more, don’t be surprised when it won’t fetch the stick. Ya dumbasses!

  3. WRT Weegie vs Doric, Doric is a dialect with unique words whereas Weegie is an accent that is totally incomprehensible.

    1. Weegie was a newspaper photographer who sometimes got to the scene of the crime before the police.
      Doric is a style of Greek column Art History professors made up to afflict the students in their survey classes.

  4. And Booty boy says Trump has a low opinion of his supporters?
    For anything a Leftist says, I don’t believe it until I see videotape including 5 minutes before and five minutes after the pull quote.

  5. Good thing the 3 day rule is in the background check law. Otherwise, FBI sabotage of the system is a danger.

  6. Re – Man marries mother in law. Was that Macron you were referencing?

    As to Buttgauge – he is not going away, D apathy party thinks he is future presidential material (excuse me while I go puke), he was mayor of the town I worked in for 20 years and all he did is mess up anything that functioned properly before (roads, parks, community relations, police force etc.)

  7. Does Lady Gag sell many recordings? It seems like 80% of her time is spent making herself into a pseudo news spectacle. If she spent that much effort learning to sing, she wouldn’t have to tour anymore.

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