Month: May 2020

This Way To The Killing Pits

Two-Minute Hate

When banks wonder why everyone in the world thinks that “banksters” should be thrown off cliffs en masse, this would be one of the reasons.

From my bank (First National Poundoflesh, LLC) comes this little snippet:

So let me get this straight, you fucking Shylocks:  you institute a bullshit fee for “low debit card usage” (Ignoring the fact that it’s my money you’re sitting on as it earns interest for you), and then you have the unmitigated gall to post tips on how to avoid the fees?

Why not just eliminate the fee to start off with?

Actually, the reason they encourage use of the debit card is, of course, the transaction fee they levy on the retail outlet each time the card is used.

So if you don’t use your debit card that often, what you should do is buy something small (like pack of gum or a single can of Coke) several times a month.  No low usage charge, and practically nothing to the bank for the transaction fee.  Here’s the math:

Monthly low usage charge:  $8
Ten debit card transactions (to avoid the fee) @ (say) $1.50 ea. :  $15
Transaction fee total (@1.75%):  $0.26 income to the bank.

Add this bullshit to the 25,000 other reasons to hate banks.

News Roundup

Bad News

Commentary shorter than Adam Schiff’s dick.


…okay.  As long as they also waive the right to state-sponsored medical care if they catch the Chinkvirus.


…nice to know they’ve fixed the Chinkvirus thing and can start concentrating on important health issues.


…and if there’s a downside to this, I can’t see it.


…which means that the Chinkvirus panic isn’t getting headlines anymore, so journalists must go back to older panic warnings,  And speaking of saving Teh Environment:.


…doesn’t matter, as long as the goal of closing all eeeevil powerplants remains in place.

And for some lighter relief:


…what our parents used to refer to as a “fall-back” career.


…quite possibly the best example of a First World Problem ever.


…although I would have thought that as almost all sharks have teeth that can rip flesh off your bones, the actual brand of death-dealing shark would be fairly irrelevant, here.  Unless, of course, it’s a completely new breed of Chinese Murder Winged Shark.

Hirsutery

Grooming

If ever there’s evidence needed that fashions go in circles, take a look at this foul trend:

We used to call that a “convict” cut (somewhat ironic, as the pic is of Australian Shane Warne) or else a “boarding school” cut — which I remember with loathing — and the last time it was popular was in the 1940s, seen here on George Orwell:

I myself think it looks like shit, regardless of era, but it’s all a question of personal taste;  and if that’s going to be my biggest complaint of the day, we’re not doing too badly.

Anyway, when I think of some of my own hairstyles, worn proudly back when I were a yoot… actually, Warnie’s isn’t so bad.

Slogans

Disaster, Gummint, Mocking Furriners

BritPM Winston Churchill Boris Johnson has decided to take stern measures in Britishland’s struggle against the Nazis the Chinkvirus by issuing… SLOGANS!

…which when translated, comes out to mean this:

I think we Murkins should use the same awful weapon, only directed at our wonderful government:

Or else, if the Gummint doesn’t get the message, a public service message to Red America:

Just kidding, of course.  I would never use so terrible a weapon as a slogan billboard against our beloved Gummint.

Quod Desiderata Est

Bad News, Disaster, Mocking Furriners

That’s Latin for “things to be desired”.

A couple years ago the locals on Spain’s Balearic Islands (Majorca, Ibiza etc.) staged massive demonstrations against the crowds of (mostly British) tourists who invaded the islands each year and partied ’til they puked, literally.

Well, thanks to the Chinkvirus, the islands have gone from this:

…to this:

I guess all those erstwhile Balearic protesters are now seeing the wisdom of that old question:  “Suppose you got exactly what you wanted…”