This dispatch just in from the Sex Wars:

AI doll manufacturer Realbotix has recently fitted new models with Wi-Fi, enabling high-speed synchronising for voice and animation.
They also stand to benefit from 5G, which is poised to give us vastly superior mobile internet data.
This means sex robots will be able to connect and update without needing to be near an internet router.

And this comment from the Official Tester, Brick Dollbanger [sic]:

[T]his technology will make them so realistic, we won’t be able to tell them apart from humans.

I’m waiting for the “Make me a sandwich” upgrade, which I think will be the tipping point.



  1. Also vulnerable to hacking/virus attacks.
    Ransomware comes to mind. No nookie until paid.

    1. Yeah, the first murder trial involving a hacking sexbot will be lit….. Lizzie Borden 2.0.

  2. On the one hand (see what I did there?) you don’t have to drive her home (or get her to go home) afterward. You can just shove her under the bed until next time.

    On the other hand, she won’t wash herself, so eventually ewwwww. I guess a hose connection at the back of the neck that flushes water thru the required areas for cleaning would be less than realistic, unless you go for a Matrix theme……Then again, Trinity……

    Mark D

  3. (shakes head) Kim, you don’t use your microwave for sex, why would you want your sexbot to make sandwiches? That’s what the cookbot is for.

  4. The wonderful, perceptive, nubile, feminine creature will be so realistic that her camera eyes will take in her immediate environment, process the information through her artificial intelligence and voice the command, love box will remain closed and locked until the grass is mowed, the porch painted and the garage cleaned up.

      1. Yep, but the second time around it has been different, her only requirement making love is that I pick a time when we have time, she wants to be comfortable and says don’t start anything you are not going to take the time to finish. As the years have gone by the frequency has slowed down but we still enjoy each other from time to time here in our 70’s. Who knew, when I was a young man I could never envision making love to a lovely older woman yet, here we are.

  5. The newer models of the real ones can’t assemble a sandwich, so I don’t think that’s a fair requirement in the specifications.

  6. Make me a sandwich? If my GF is capable of walking to the kitchen afterwards then I don’t deserve a sandwich.

    1. Who said anything about afterwards? If it’s in any way realistic it will be instead, or not even that as the bitching over your sandwich will turn her off and she’ll not be in the mood…

  7. Of course that sandwich update will come complete with nagging that you should really be on a more healthy, vegan, diet and that the supermarket was all out of soymilk cheese and vegan ham and mayonaise so you’re not getting your sandwich.

  8. Gee, just think, no more being gallant by rolling onto the wet spot.
    Sandwich? no worry there. Never stayed awake long enough to think of it much less finish one.

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