Pick Your Spot

Say you were involved with some shady people (albeit innocently), but after testifying against their evil asses, the Gummint decides that it would be in your best interests to put you (and, say, your wife, assuming grown- or no kids) into the Witness Protection Program (WitSec) for the rest of your life.  You do have a choice of places to go (but read this little piece first before you make your decision).

Where would you ask to be placed, and why?  What specific town / area, what kind of community, and so on — all need to be considered, and it’s more difficult than you’d think.

Responses, as always, in Comments.  I’ll reveal mine tomorrow in a separate post.


  1. Waco? I’ve never been there, it’s a smallish city, has a University, not too near the coast, and not a liberal enclave. It’s unlikely that I know anyone living there, and (until I wrote this), I doubt anyone would look for me there. Earning a living would be no problem, because I’d retire. I’ll assume it’s close enough to enough decent restaurants to keep my wife happy.

  2. A brand new 1000 square foot cabin on 10 acres of 50% forest and 50% flat farmable land and a 1 acre pond, 50 miles north of Whitefish, Montana, where the closest neighbor is at least 1 mile away. My new name will be Gary Gray and my wifes name will be Mary Gray.

    1. Cath,
      Even in this little enclave of cranky people, yer kinda cranky.

      NOT that there’s anything wrong with this, nor should I even dream of disparaging yer permanent grouchy mood.

  3. This is where it gets hard for someone like me, because with my career specialty, there are only about four locations where I can find profitable employment. Two in California…and I do NOT want to go there.

    Best option would be retirement. In which case I’d probably head for somewhere in Indiana or Kentucky, maybe Ohio. Find a medium-sized town (not a large city) and just try to blend in.

    1. Just a suggestion mind you, but you should reconsider what “profitable employment” means to you. Life isn’t all about money, in fact, after careful consideration over a long time, I came to the conclusion that money has very little to do with what I believe is most important and that is “peace of mind”.

      2 years after reaching that conclusion we sold everything in the suburbia I had lived for 40 years, Cape Coral, Florida, and moved to small acreage in south central Indiana to a red county with less than 15k people. Income dropped 95% but my expenses did too, so all the numbers got way smaller, and I got way smarter on how to live a pleasant peaceful existence among people that seem to have similar ideals.

      In any particular place, the larger gov’t gets the less liveable the place becomes. What causes larger gov’t? More people. As population increases so does the gov’t. After all, gov’t exists under the mantra that all people every where MUST be controlled. And amazingly and unbelievably most people believe they must be controlled. For reason that I’ll never understand, they think of that entanglement as security. This is the reason a great culling needs to occur.

  4. Someplace generally warm, where excellent brisket can be found pretty easily, plenty of cigars, whisky, a 50+ acre property with no HoA restrictions, and not another soul around within about 10 miles in any direction. Bonus if it could be equipped with high-speed Internet, of course.

    1. And you think the FedGov would give you all that? Your innocence is quite touching…

  5. I wouldn’t mind finding some retired lighthouse somewhere (great lakes or ocean). They tend to be secluded in out of the way locations. Bonus points for high speed internet access so I could continue with a career. A medium sized city nearby (< 200 miles) where my bride and I can catch the occasional bit of culture (concert, symphony, theater, etc.) and the kids can get some educational opportunities (museums, academic competitions) that I didn't have growing up in the sticks.

  6. > What specific town / area, what kind of community,

    Wellington New Zealand.

    I can participate in shooting sports down there, get a job in the IT sector, it’s FAR away from people who would do me harm.

    Second choice would be to proactively solve the problem.

  7. I’d be back to the water.

    Fifty-two foot Irwin Ketch, 1983 or newer, due to advantageous construction differences post ’82.

    That’s a boat large enough to have enormous tankage, attendant range under power, stowage, spares, tools and *ahem* ship’s defenses.

    Plus, a boat that size can regularly click off over 200 miles per day, under sail. Appropriately rigged, I can single hand these, and have. They can get a bit tricky around the docks, but a modern bow-thruster is a god-send, there.

    Up n’ down the Gulf Coast, radiating out from Pensacola, FL, are innumerable inlets, small marinas, towns, anchorages.

    Good food to be found in all, and high speed ‘net, too.

    And if need be, the “bug out plan” can go global. These are truly SEA worthy boats, with quite a few hulls having logged multiple circumnavigations.

    Being the bloodthirsty bastards we are, I might even be able to generate income by booking “Q-Ship” cruises for a half-dozen suitable* types, and sailing into known pirate waters.

    * and suitably equipped.

    Where it’s always open season.

    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

    1. And you think the BritGov would give you all that? You’re not even Muslim, nor transgendered.

  8. I would of course ask to be placed in New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, or one of the many other major democrat controlled cities with which I have had past associations! Safe places!

    Please don’t send me somewhere not in a Big Democrat Controlled City!

    (Of course then they’d change policy…)

    We’re close to old enough to retire; I would ask for a place that either has a large workshop/garage or room for us to put one up preferably in a climate that isn’t ridiculously frigid in winter or sweltering for most of summer. Not asking for San Diego weather, just avoiding extremes.

    Apartment isn’t going to cut it.

    Would they make me give up my project car, I wonder…

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