5 Worst Things To Discover On A First Date

Ranked in ascending order of awfulness, as always:

For men:

  • She hates guns
  • She worked on Hillary Clinton’s campaign in 2016
  • She’s a militant vegan
  • She has a really fun story about how she acquired her latest(!!) tattoo
  • She owns four cats

(If she checks all five boxes, you may have to kill yourself just to escape the date.)

For women:

  • He still lives with mommy
  • He’s a Muslim
  • He hates guns
  • He thinks Trump is literally worse than Hitler
  • He has to leave the date early to go to an antifa rally

Your own contributions in Comments. Bonus points if you’ve ever discovered these things on an actual first date.


  1. A had a first (and only) date once whose sole topic of conversation during the date was how she’d trashed the cars of guys who dumped her. Thankfully we arrived at the restaurant separately and she didn’t know what kind of car I drove.

    OK, my list:

    She hates men
    She’s a Vegan
    She’s a member of NOW
    She was a Women’s Studies major
    She IS Hillary Clinton

    (an old girlfriend had an AA in Women’s Studies, hard to imagine a worse degree for getting an actual JOB.)

  2. I would think that the actual worst thing you could find out would be:

    1. He’s really a woman.

    1. She’s really a man.

    That is, if you’re a normie.

  3. * She hates guns

    This can be fixed over time if everything else is Ok.

    * She has a really fun story about how she acquired her latest(!!) tattoo

    If you’re looking for something long term, this could be a problem. If you’re looking for something fun she might be. Just wear a condom.

    On the male side:
    * He hates guns

    Then he isn’t really “he” is he?

  4. The wife of almost 25 years hated guns when I met her. That is something that can be fixed.

  5. My darlin wife of now 17 years liked guns (had a 22 pistol AND a 357 with hollow points and knew how to shoot)
    Also 1 cat, two dogs (shelties) and 1 horse (Arabian).
    Now, my arsenal brought down from Wyoming + hers), 6 cats, 3 dogs (German Shepherds) and 6 horses (Arabians).
    So…cats are not a show stopper!

  6. For men:
    she’s married.

    (Yes, for a two year period, i seemed to attract only married women. Super annoying at the time)

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