Stuff that makes me laugh
From some horse’s ass in Congress (I know, doesn’t narrow it down much):
“The Donald Trump and MAGA plan for the border: Alligator moats, bombing northern Mexico, shooting migrants in the legs, and electrifying the fence and putting spikes on them.”
Actually, that was MY plan, except he left out the minefields and it was Nile crocodiles, not alligators.
But if Trump wants to take credit for my plan, that’s okay.
Yep.
And baby, it’s going to be cold outside in Britishland:
…i.e., tomorrow:
Good luck, British people.
So let’s look at some dirty news.
...keywords: Washington D.C.
...and of course the teacher “escaped prison”, because female.
...so the little Jock lesbian got at least one thing right… in ten years.
...while millions of starving African villagers could only wish for such a feast.
#TheyStartedTheWar
...so basically, she’s admitting that we’ve already lost our democracy?
...I dunno; after centuries of neutrality, they have to be out of practice at this “war” thing.
...no, I didn’t get that backwards. Relax, Jake; it’s Seattle.
...and no, that’s not a typo. He failed his examinations, because apparently you’re only allowed to rape elderly patients when not wearing uniform.
...keyword: Canada. (Although it’s probably even worse for U.S. college students.)
...because he hasn’t even started menstruating yet.
And as for INSIGNIFICA:
...I know, I know:
Well, at least she’s honest. Unlike all the politicians in the news.
Your thoughts and suggestions in Comments.
Point:
Counterpoint:
Finally, to paraphrase some Big Guy in Government: hammers and sickles aren’t much use against F-16s.
“Dear Dr. Kim:
“I’m a woman of 30 and my friend is 31. We grew up together. She always wanted a threesome and I said I was game with the right person. But it certainly wasn’t at the forefront of my mind. Then when I got together with my boyfriend, who is 33, she made it clear she thought he would be our perfect third person.
“Eventually I agreed to speak to my partner. He was skeptical at first but then we had an evening at our flat and my friend and I worked on him — and we all ended up in bed together.
“Life then went back to normal. But then on Christmas Eve, my friend turned up unannounced. She got a pregnancy test out of her handbag and showed me the positive result. I was horrified when the penny dropped that it was my boyfriend’s baby.
“My boyfriend and I expected her to opt for an abortion. And my boyfriend was willing to pay for it. But she said no. She said she had wanted to be a mum for a long time. She told me that I could hardly get upset because I went along with the threesome, but I thought she was on the Pill.
“Now she keeps sending me pictures of flats or houses we could all rent together!
“What do I do now?”
— Backstabbed, England
Dear Stabbed:
Let me start by telling you that you should probably dump your boyfriend now, while it’s still relatively painless. Because sooner or later your best friend is going to go after him for child support, and get it. Which means he’ll have less money to spend on you. Also, paying child support will make him feel like he’s entitled to visitation and being a part of his kid’s life. Do you honestly want to be part of that little scenario? Best get clear of all that, while you can.
I am not an expert in matters like this, so I consulted a fellow doctor (let’s call him Dr. Knob) who is an expert, having had several such encounters in his time. Here are some lessons to be learned from this — it’s too late in your case, but I’m hoping others will see this and avoid your situation.
This is a messy business (in so many ways) and to be honest, I think that threesomes in general are best postponed until the post-menopausal time, because a) there’s no chance of your predicament taking place, and b) chances are you’ll be sick of having bonked the same person for years, and a little diversion might not be too harmful — or it might.
Be careful out there.
— 