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Growing Skin

Feminazis, Men & Women, Sports

…and I’m not talking about that skin, either.

One of the nicest things about the game of golf is that it’s a gentle one — no bodies crashing against each other, no feats of strength, no slam-dunks or soaring home runs:  just quiet, delicate and deliberate movements.

Which also applies to the subtle art of gamesmanship.  No in-your-face screaming “Bring It On!”, chest-thumping or trying to put your opponent off his shot;  just quiet, subtle digs designed to get inside his head to make him change his game, to his disadvantage or your advantage.

I remember once mis-hitting a drive which just managed to stay on the fairway, but only went for about 150 yards — whereupon my opponent asked disingenuously:  “Does your husband also play golf?” implying, of course, that I hit like a girl.

And before anyone thinks that this kind of remark is in any way demeaning to women — it isn’t, because the fact of the matter is that women can’t hit the ball as far as a man can, which is why all golf courses have a “Ladies Tee” in each hole, usually many yards closer to the fairway and green than those used by men.

So when Tiger Woods (47) surreptitiously handed his opponent Justin Thomas (29) a tampon after his drive had traveled further than the younger man’s, everyone knew exactly what he was doing:  teasing Thomas, and playing a little gamesmanship.

Did I say everyone?   Perish the thought.  Of course, Feministicals International went berserk, calling Woods a misogynist and his actions “demeaning” and “disrespectful” to Womyns Everywhere.  FFS, here’s some rancid cow’s take:

She then queried if he was implying ‘periods are embarrassing or shameful or a sign of weakness?’

No he didn’t do that, dumbass.  He was teasing his buddy, and nothing more.  It’s a golfing tradition which goes back probably over a hundred years.  Oh gawd, I can hear the cries now:  “Well, it’s a tradition that has no place in today’s game!”

Fuck you, Sheila.  If you want us to take you seriously, stop getting so upset by something so unimportant.

Stop acting like a little girl, in other words, and grow some skin.

So these humorless fucks — girlymen and womyns alike — are going to try to take Tiger down (again) for being such a pig.

Fortunately, there’s one woman with a bit of commonsense:  Paige Spirinac, who uttered the immortal words:

‘If anyone tries to cancel Tiger over this, we riot!’

…adding the priceless (and true) comment:

‘It’s funny!”

For that down-to-earth attitude, young Paige gets more than just a mention:

Clearly, she understands the situation and has the perfect response:

‘Instead of women being outraged by Tiger and the tampon, I would love for them to actually provide ideas to help,’ she tweeted. ‘ For example I would have [Tampax] team up with the PGA tour to run a campaign where they provide free feminine products at golf courses.  Most don’t actually have them and during long rounds it can be a problem for us.’

Turning outrage into marketing — now that’s a Real Woman’s response.

Question Answered

Deep Thoughts

…the question being: “Kim, are you really that old-fashioned?”  upon reading the following:


…and realizing that I last used the phrase in a conversation with my sister as late as last year — with both of us understanding its meaning precisely.  (So did New Wife, by the way, when I asked her if she understood it.  She still uses it, occasionally.)

It is, by the way, a wonderful expression in that it acknowledges a feeling (melancholy) without taking it too seriously (i.e. by giving it a self-deprecating nickname).

Also by the way, I much prefer “melancholy” over “depression”.  Depression is a longtime (and potentially life-threatening) illness, whereas melancholy is just an attack of the blahs, easily remedied by the purchase of a new gun, reading a good book or listening to anything not composed by Igor Stravinsky or John Cage.

Speed Bump #2,701

Grammar Nazism

I heartily agree with the sentiment, but:

Is it “Males Out Of Female Jails” or “Men Out Of Women’s Jails”?

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS

(Given the fact that “male” and “female” are adjectives FFS, the truly correct terminology in the former would be “Male Prisoners Out Of Female Jails” (which scans really nicely) — but that wouldn’t fit on the sign, would it, and by all means let’s not allow linguistic clarity and rhythm to crowd the real estate.)

Another gin, Kim?  Why yes, I think I will.

News Roundup

Bad News

Sponsored by:

And on that pungent note, here’s the real smelly stuff:


...not that she should have been arrested in the first place, but this DID happen in Airstrip One, after all.

From the Dept. Of Irony:


...on the bright side, it wasn’t crucifixion.

...but for those of us who’ve been paying attention, it’s turning out EXACTLY as we expected.


…AK, Glock, howitzers, they’re all the same to him, the demented old fucker.  And speaking of which:


...if it’s fake news, can fake medical tests be far behind? 


...so:  back to your bedtime triple espressos, then.


...to prove that all appearances to the contrary, she ISN’T Billy Idol?


...key word:  France.


...2% of the population, 2% of the commercials.  What to complain about?


...now THAT’S going to hit them hard, so to speak.  And speaking of ejaculations:


...the medical equivalent of drive-through restaurants.

And from INSIGNIFICA:

   

...because as any fule kno, if they’re NOT old enough to bleed...


...who she? you ask.

Here’s the fun part, though.  Once you get past the carefully-styled and artfully-posed pics, what you really get is something a little… errrr plumper:

 

Fake news, in other words.