Category: The Worst

Five Worst Occupations

Friday Feature, The Worst

Yup, it’s a return to a Friday feature Of Yore.

And this has nothing to do with your earnings, either, but what it says about you as a person.  Ranked in order of increasing foulness, they are:

  • Professional assassin
  • Rapper
  • TikTok Influencer
  • Sugar Baby
  • Hedge Fund Manager

Feel free to correct me, if you can think of worse.

5 Worst Things To Do At A Funeral

Friday Feature, The Worst

In ascending order of ghastliness:

  • substitute the soundtrack from Oh! Calcutta!  for the traditional funeral music
  • French-kiss the widow / grab the widower’s cock
  • invent a whole bunch of salacious but fictitious stories about the late when delivering the eulogy (e.g. “Fred always said that sex with a woman was okay, but not as good as the real thing”)
  • take group photos, as at a wedding, only with people standing around the open coffin
  • start a “throw the wreath” ceremony, and have Granny catch it.

You suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Notes

Friday Feature, The Worst

…that Amy Coney Barrett could have written on her pad while being interrogated  grilled  questioned by the Senate Democrats.

I’ll start the ball rolling:

  • “Check out Becky’s new beef stew recipe on Facebook.”
  • “If Scalia could see this clownshow, he’d be laughing his ass off.”
  • “# questions that have bothered me:  ___”
  • “Pick up eggs at 7-11 on the way home.”
  • “Also cream.”

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Drunken Regrets

Friday Feature, The Worst

When you wake up with a crippling hangover, and discover the consequences of the previous night’s carousing.  Ranked in order of ascending horror:

  • a wedding ring on your finger, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez lying in bed next to you
  • the ashes of your passport, in your Bucharest hotel room
  • Polaroid pictures of a naked you and the Ukrainian “escort” you met in the bar last night
  • an aching anus and a card with the inscription:  “Thanks for a wonderful evening — Brian Boitano”
  • ownership title documents for a Toyota Prius.

Your suggestions (may be personal or hypothetical) in Comments.

5 Worst RealDoll Models Ever

Friday Feature, The Worst

Ranked in order, from “of very limited appeal” to “you’ve got to be fucking kidding“.  First, for men (all with the vocal function enabled):

  • the “Andrea Dworkin” (retro model)
  • the “Joy Behar”
  • the “Gender Studies Professor”
  • the “Hillary Clinton”
  • the “Taylor Swift”

And for the ladies:

  • the “Brad Pitt” sorry I meant   “Dog The Bounty Hunter”
  • the “Jack Whitehall”
  • the “Jerrold Nadler”
  • the “Harvey Weinstein”
  • the “Piers Morgan”