Category: The Worst

3 Worst Questions

Friday Feature, The Worst

Okay, here’s a participation game which is prompted by this little snippet (no link because reasons):

So, Gentle Readers:  what are the three ugliest, rudest, most impertinent and foul questions you could ask of His Royal Gingerness?

Yeah, I know, nobody gives a shit about this emasculated little Brit woketwerp or his horrible Hollywood slutwife.  Have some fun.  Winner gets a prize TBD.

3 Worst Women

Friday Feature, Gratuitous Chick Pics, The Worst

Here are the three worst kinds of women to be romantically involved with, in no specific order:

  • College professors.  They are used to being treated like gods in the classroom, and they expect you to do the same.  Or they’re fucking headcases who teach one of the “___ Studies” courses.
  • HR career women.  Fortunately, these things are generally unspeakably ugly and your chances of getting involved with one of them are slim, unless you’re a masochist in which case you deserve everything you get.
  • Comedians (we used to call them “comediennes”, but now that’s apparently taboo).  If you want every detail — emotional, sexual, whatever — of your private life to become just another part of her act, date one of these grunts*.

*except for Irish comedienne Aisling Bea, who is totally hot and could say anything about me she wanted, as long as I could do unspeakable things to her young Irish body when she’s not on stage.

Phwoarrrrr…

3 Worst Christmas Presents

Friday Feature, The Worst

…either to give, or to get.  First, the pricey ones:

  • One-way air ticket to New York City
  • Toyota Prius (with 50,000 miles on the clock)
  • Free weekend at the downtown Seattle Holiday Inn

Next, the “Well-Meaning But Still Crap” ones:

  • Gas station pocket knife
  • Cheap Chinese-made car tool set
  • Box of corrosive Warsaw Pact-era mil-surp rifle ammo

Then the cheap-ass ones:

  • $5 gift card for Domino’s Pizza
  • scented candle
  • coffee mug with some shit like “World’s Best [whatever]” printed on it

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Irish Names

Mocking Furriners, The Worst

Too many vowels, too many strange pronunciation rules, too… just too fucking Irish:

  1.  Saoirse (“sear-sha”, or if you want to mess with them, “sasha”)
  2. Ciarán (“kier-ahn”)
  3. Aisling (“ash-ling”)
  4. Eoin (“oh-win”)
  5. Bronagh / Bronaugh (“Broh-na” — with a very slight “ch” at the end, pronounced like the Scottish “loch”) — see also Clodagh.

I think they just have these names to fuck with ordinary English-speaking people, so that they can mock us for not knowing how to pronounce them.  They’re almost as bad as the French.

Wankers.

3 Bad Things

Disaster, The Worst

…about Titanic 5:

  • if they ever find the thing and bring it to the surface, what are the odds that there will be ONE guy alive — who killed all the others right at the beginning so there’d be lots of oxygen left to breathe
  • when you go on an already-dangerous trip in a vessel built by the lowest bidder

…and finally, from MasterCard*:

*okay, maybe not.