Author: Kim du Toit

Problematic

Wildlife and Hunting

I know, I know:  when shooting a bear out of season, the best advice is “Shoot, Shovel, Shut Up”.

It’s a little difficult to follow that, though, when you and your wife are covered with bear bites and the fucking corpse is lying in your hallway, bleeding into the carpet:

A couple living in Wisconsin said they killed a bear when it attacked them inside their house on Friday, leaving them injured. The incident took place not long after the couple noticed the animal was eating from their bird feeder, the Associated Press (AP) reported Sunday.

Officials with the Taylor County Sheriff’s Office said the incident happened late that night at the residence near Medford, and according to the couple, the bear crashed through a window after they shouted at the animal to scare it away.

“Both the husband and wife were injured before they were able to stab the bear with a kitchen knife. Eventually, the man was able to grab a firearm and kill the animal,” the AP article continued.

A photo showed the bear lying on the floor in a hallway.

Also good advice:  don’t bring a knife to a bear fight.

For those ignorant of Wisconsin, Medford is smack dab in the middle of nowhere the state, and close to a national forest.

Only One?

Funny Stuff

(Note: this whole post was “triggered” by this article)

The open secret among us conservatives is the “one bullet” game in which you are asked, “If you had one shot you could take at someone, with a free pass, who would get the bullet?”

This causes a great deal of reflection among the more thoughtful of us, with much wailing and cursing because the Left offers us, shall we say, an absolute cornucopia of choices.  (And I sympathize:  I myself would need at least a case of 7.62x39mm to lance the various boils on our national and international polity.)

The choice is a tough one, especially where one is presented with a local option — e.g. one of the Soros prosecutors like that asshole in L.A. — or a national one, like Hillary Clinton, or even an international one like the aforementioned Soros, or Bill Gates.  Each of the three categories has much to recommend it, of course, but I would argue against the local option because it’s far too easy for the Left to find a similar, or even worse replacement.

No;  the way forward is a national or international target, provided that the international one is spreading his or her malignity into our own United States (which would exclude the perpetually-horrible Tony Blair, for instance, but make George Soros a front-runner).

Forgive me for being a tad parochial on that point, but given the disproportionate effect that our nation has on the world in general, I think it’s a defensible position.

And I’m not going to play this game here today — it’s far better played in person among friends and fellow conservatives, where spirited arguments can rage (and have done so, I suspect) in favor of each person’s nomination.  And please take note:  I’d rather that nobody played the game in my Comments section too, but I’m not in the business of telling people what they can and can’t write.

I should also point out that among conservatives, “One Bullet” is pretty much a game (albeit, perhaps, in questionable taste).  For the Left, however, the Enemy Elimination List is almost certainly lying in some DHS / FBI bureaucrat’s drawer somewhere, awaiting implementation.

Oops

Religion

The story of the film so far:  you’re the 65-year-old pastor of a Christian congregation, and one day you decide to admit to everyone that a couple of decades back, you were a very bad boy and had an extramarital affair.  All the congregation rises, and you get a standing ovation for your honesty, humility and courage, etc. etc. amen.

Then this happens:

The woman with whom he had conducted the affair ascended the stage, saying the pastor had slept with her when he was 38 and she was 16.

Whoa.  It takes a lot to make my jaw drop nowadays, but this one did.

RFI:  is there a statute of limitations on statutory rape?

Food Roulette

Food & Drink

Apparently, Jif Peanut Butter has been “recalled” by its parent company (who knew?):

The J. M. Smucker Co. is recalling select Jif® peanut butter products sold in the U.S. due to potential Salmonella contamination. Salmonella is an organism which can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections in young children, frail or elderly people, and others with weakened immune systems. Healthy persons infected with Salmonella often experience fever, diarrhea (which may be bloody), nausea, vomiting and abdominal pain. In rare circumstances, infection with Salmonella can result in the organism getting into the bloodstream and producing more severe illnesses such as arterial infections (i.e., infected aneurysms), endocarditis and arthritis.

The recalled peanut butter was distributed nationwide in retail stores and other outlets. Recalled products include the products below with lot codes 1274425 – 2140425. Lot codes are included alongside best-if-used-by date.

Not wanting to deal with salmonella — take it from me, I grew up in Africa, and it’s fucking wicked shit — I inspected the peanut butter supply chez  du Toit (including the emergency hoard).

Every single jar we have falls into the fucking suspect lot code range.  What’s just as interesting is that one of the jars is half-empty, i.e. New Wife and I have been feasting on the lovely stuff for about a month already on our weekend breakfast toast.  With, of course, no ill effects… so far.

Needless to say, the supermarket shelves are already empty of all Jif products, having sent them back to the manufacturer for a refund.

Now:  are said supermarket companies going to refund We The Consumers if we take our unopened jars of Jif à la salmonella  back?

Don’t be silly.  (I tried yesterday, at both Kroger and Sam’s Club and was told to fuck off.  (Not quite what was said, but the outcome was the same nevertheless.)

Maybe if I open-carried my 1911 into Tom Thumb tomorrow, they’ll at least give me a decent hearing?

Watch this space.

Ugly Wheels

Drive Time

Take a look at this bad boy, a 2018 Maserati Gran Turismo MC:

I see a lot of these black wheel rims these days — apparently, all the cool kids are driving them — but I have to tell you all, I think they’re pig-ugly.  Compare those with these:

…and the difference is profound, class vs. crass.  I don’t know who first came up with the black rims thing — which can turn even the exquisite GT into something foul — but they need a kick in the nads, or be flogged for crimes against automotive beauty.

Strange Choices

Food & Drink

In a recent survey, Britishlanders were asked to state their favorite sandwiches, and the results were as follows:

For those Murkins unfamiliar with the term, a “ploughman’s” sandwich (cheese, ham, pickled onions or pickles, chutney, and sourdough bread) has nothing to do with ploughmen nor even farming — it was a marketing term developed in the late 1950s, and the promotion of the Ploughman’s lunch was part of a campaign to promote the sale of cheese in pubs.

As for the other choices:  Murkins will also be surprised by prawn sandwiches, but the Brits use the tiny “cocktail” or “baby” prawns, not the normal large things we eat with hot sauce Over Here.

And there has to be a special place in hell for whoever came up with putting tuna and sweetcorn on a sandwich.