1. “Now, just like in Oriental Martial Arts, we bow to each other before we begin the Kata. —
    Oopsie! I stood too close!”

  2. Deadpool soon learns there’s another meaning to the phrase “laying pipe”.

  3. In an earlier cut of the film Deadpool was confused about what it meant to “break the fourth wall”.

    Deadpool is about to be hit where it don’t grow back.

  4. “Redheads come with their own warning label, regardless the upfront good-sense disablers.”

  5. *muffled* “Hi, yes, hello. I’d like two pieces of breast meat, a strawberry shake, and some mayo please.”

  6. The first thing a man notices in a woman is her heart. It’s not his fault her tits are in the way.

  7. This points out the possible benefits of cosplaying. As Ron White said, “You’ve seen one pair, you want to see them all.”

  8. All hail Dead Pool, the least gay super
    hero in the Marvel Cinematic Universe!

  9. I don’t care HOW many punches you took to the face, these DON’T work like steaks!

  10. “Can you hear me now?”
    “Can you hear me now?”
    “Can you hear me now?”
    “Can you hear me now?”

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