Living Abroad

Once again we have a list — this time, of “Best Countries To Live In“.

From our perspective, of course, we have to remove the disclaimer, “…unless you want to own a gun”, which would take out pretty much all but the U.S. of A from the results.  Also, the survey also takes into account shit like “environmental consciousness” and similar woke bollocks, so we should probably ignore the whole thing.

But then I wouldn’t have a post for today.  So here’s my take on the whole thing, ignoring the gun issue just this once.

1. Germany — I wouldn’t mind living in Deutschland too much, except that I would get horribly bored by the food after a few months.  The beer’s okay, and I love driving there.  The TV is uniformly terrible, just awful (SNL’s satire “Sprockets” would actually be an improvement), and that bland 80s Europop that seems to blast from every radio station or PA system makes me want to go all Peter Kürten every few weeks or so.  But as long as I could live somewhere like Bad Reichenall or similar in Bavaria, I could probably survive there.

2. Canada — ditto Canuckistan, maybe in Montreal’s Plateau, or out west where the Canuckis are more like Murkins.  The winters might get me down after a while, though;  as much as I like snow and such, you can have too much of a good thing.  And then there’s Pierre Trudeau…

3. JapanKyoto, maybe, rather than Tokyo.  But I have to admit, the language issue would be far more of a hurdle here than in Germany or French Canuckistan. Or even in

4. Italy — definitely, but only in the north, in cities like Torino, Milan or similar, or else in the Como area.  I found Italian surprisingly difficult to understand the last time I was there, but I’m sure I could get the hang of it after a year or so.  And that Northern Italian cuisine… que bella.  Of course, I’d need an Alfa Romeo or Fiat to putter around in.

5. Britishland — of course, but not London.  Somewhere out west or southwest (Hardy country) would do.  A small town like Devizes or Bradford-on-Avon would be excellent.  As long as I could have access to US TV now and then, because like in Europe, the Brit TV offering is dire.

As for the rest of the top ten (excluding Murka):
France:  Midi only
Sweden:  too cold for too long, plus language and Commies
Switzerland:  NO
Australia:  NO.

The rest of the top 20:
Spain:  Southern Med coast only, or maybe Barcelona
Norway:  NO, too many Commies
Netherlands:  Amsterdam, baby.  Oh yes… after Britishland — or maybe even ahead of — I could see myself there.
New Zealand:  NO, see Norway
Finland:  no, see Sweden
Austria:  Vienna, definitely — but with the same reservations as with Germany
Scotland:  Edinburgh, if you put a gun to my head;  otherwise no
Belgium:  no
Ireland:  undecided.  Lotsa Irish around, though, with strange names like Eoin and Aisling
Iceland:  NO.

Sorry, folks:  looks like y’all are stuck with me, right Over Here — oh, and did I mention GUNS?

Try owning that little collection outside Murka…


  1. Well, Pierre is pushing up daisies, but even so, would agree with you he might be better than his alleged spawn, Justin le Fop.

    As to living abroad, I do have an affinity for England but the country I knew from my youth no longer exists and I for one would chafe to the point of going full Guido Fawkes with all the bloody Karens in local councils and Westminster.

    And then there is that little issue of self defense, not allowed in pretty much every country listed except the U.S. of A. So no, we take a stand here lads, not abroad.

  2. What a crock of crap, reading the article this is a socialism scale or something, they think our nation USA, USA, USA has improved because we no longer have Trump and a strong economy with full employment. Going on down the list they put China over Taiwan and how does that work? The Germany I lived in for three years over 50 years ago BM, before Muslims, was a decent place in upper Bavaria, if I could not live in the US at that time I might have picked Germany, now not at all.

    Not every place can be Texas and so far those of us in Texas have managed to hold on to a fair amount of what makes our state a good place to live. As for the rest of the world, government happens and as it grows it becomes more hungry and thanks to the Dems in DC they are feeding it faster than ever. Screw them and ‘Let’s Go Brandon’.

    1. Great point about Germany, BM. Back 40 years ago, there were Turks, but they self-isolated.

      1. In the late 1960’s the Germans brought in a lot of Yugoslavian folks build roads and highways, they guys and the women did low skill labor, kitchen work, laundries, etc. I live in a new high rise apartment building in Erlangen W. Germany and there were about eight Yugoslavian women living several doors down the hall in a one bedroom apartment and on weekend the guys would join them playing loud Slavic music and getting loud and drunk but they follow the rules and by 11pm they would get quiet and they were friendly people with nice smiles and greetings.

  3. Well now, I’m going to say England, of course – United Kingdom (was there ever a misnomer? Everyone hates everyone else, so I guess that’s some kind of equality for you).

    English southern/south western and even south eastern counties are probably best for the kinds of places I know Kim loves – And the beers and ciders too aren’t too shabby.

    London – spit. Even Londoners – if you can find a ‘native’ one that is – hate it. Over priced beer and over aggressive people.

    So what have we got going for us? The weather. Four proper seasons, sometimes all in the same day. What else? Believe it or not, National Pride – we just ignore the numpties in local government and Westminster, and the woke folk are there for entertainment purposes only. History, tons of it, countryside, culture, buildings, music, food – regional food is more than pasties – decent properties (if you can afford to move over here you can afford a decent house, built with proper foundations). A self effacing, and sometimes smutty (yay!) sense of humour. The freedom to be what you want and say what you want to who you want – yep there are consequences but the law protects me as much as it does the whiners and snowflakes.

    Now. The gun thing (no pun intended, Kim). If as said above you can afford to move here, into a decent place, in the southern parts, then buy a farm or smallholding. You’re allowed a gun then. And if you buy a big enough place, several! As Hot Fuzz has it, “everyone’s packing round here. Such as? Farmers. And farmers mums”.

    As for Scotland and Wales – nice cities, nice coastlines, terrible accents, worse food and in Scotland summer lasts half a day, if you’re lucky. And it’s has midges. And haggis.

    But we have Greggs 😁

  4. I lived (was stationed in) Germany and England….

    Meh. Craptacular weather (the last summer I was stationed in Germany (Eifel region, as far west as possible and not be in Luxembourg) it rained 44 consecutive days. I was flying around looking for the Ark. Not too cold in the winter, which meant….Black Ice. We had a saying, there were those who had slid out on black ice, and those that will. England (RAF Bentwaters) was OK, plain food, acceptable beer, expensive as shit.

    I also lived in Kanukistan (Ontario Oblast, Ottowagrad and environs) for ten years…

    Jebus H. Crackerjacks….half of my patients walked in on Rx antidepressants plus alcohol and/or marijuana. When the weather is nice, it’s tolerable. The weather is nice perhaps 2 days of 7. Not even the cold (that can be invigorating), just the depressing overcast. Out west? Well, BC is run by commies that thought Mao was a pansy. Alberta and Saskatchewan? Not a lot there, but the RCMP will happily steal your guns locked up in a safe for your safety. Mannitoba? Please…Quebec? A bunch of xenophobic racists – as long as you’re willing to spend money there they will tolerate you (much like Paris) but the Quebecois version of French is nothing spoken in, you know, France. The Maritime provinces are poor, poor, poor… Those ‘polite’ Canadians? Passive-aggressive hosers, the lot. Their politeness is a very thin veneer covering psychotic rage.

    If I could not live in the best place on earth (Montana), my second choice might be Portugal. Yes, full of Eurocommies, but the weather is quite acceptable, the food and wine are good, and they drive on the proper side of the road.

    1. I just returned from 10 days in Porto, Portugal. At 64, the hills in the city just about destroyed what’s left of my knees, and the copious port consumption, in between Pastéis de Nata, almost gave me the diabeetus. Took a 2-day aside to Aveiro, where my BIL has a small plot (18 hectares) next to a good sized Quinta. Holy crap—best bread, wine, cheese, seafood and honey I’ve had in 40+ years.

      Plus, everyone had nice shotguns and “sporting” rifles. Sidearms, while not openly shown and visible, were quietly and proudly regarded among friendlies.

      I could live there, at least part-time. That may be more of me wanting to move out of Northern Virginia than living in Portugal. The language problem in both locales is problematic. I’ll never learn passable Portuguese and I can’t abide Libspeak.

        1. They speak Kraut and Frog, I worked with a group of Europeans and it was interesting watching two Swiss folks having a conversation, one speaking German and the other answering French never slowing down their conversation. I your great great grandpa was Swiss and you can live on the interest of your investments you might get along well in Switzerland living modestly.

  5. Hey Kim,
    I’ve been living in Norway the last 16 years. Haven’t had a problem with commies. In fact at this point I would say the dems have gone quite a bit farther left than the workers party here. We’re full on capitalist but with a heavy welfare state. As far as the guns go, no problem owning all the long guns here. As for the pistols, as long as you are an active member of a shooting club there’s no problem. Ammo is pretty spendy of course, as is everything here. The percentage of gun ownership here is about on par with the USA, at about 35% of the population.
    For what it’s worth, I love it here.


    1. I knew that would get you out of the woodwork, Dave.
      All your points are valid, of course, but even if I got round to speaking and reading Norwegian, the media there would get me down as much as our mainstream crap.
      Norway can indulge in its welfare state simply because they can subsidize it with oil. Gawd help them if the oil runs out,

  6. Although I love Montana where I retired (best state in the lower 48 IMHO), I could easily live in the Czech Republic, in spite of only knowing a few words of their rather difficult language. Spent a bit of time there since the Velvet Revolution / breakup of Czechoslovakia. Great people (they like Americans for the most part), great beer, food and not terrible gun laws. Could essentially own everything I currently have. 😎

    1. And yet at 30th, the CR is ranked between Argentina and China, and below a shithole like Russia. Why would that be?
      I suspect the survey’s criteria still more.

  7. I’ve been to a lot of those places and most of them are great places to visit. Live there? Not likely. I like it fine right where I’m at. (Central KY) We get 4 seasons and very little severe weather, unless you consider hot and humid for 3 months severe. Nice people. Low cost of living. Beautiful horses and fast women. Did I mention bourbon? What more could you ask?

  8. Are you people telling me TV is genuinely worse in Europe than here? How? How’s that possible? I figured we were at absolute rock bottom.

    1. Trust me: I defy any American to watch the BBC for longer than an hour or two per night, without having your brain turned to mush after a week. Or less.

    2. It’s worse. We get a VERY slanted idea of what they have, being fed cherry-picked samples of their best stuff. Go over there, and it’s the American shows that are top-rated.

  9. TV in Brit-land? Surely some mistake?

    Here in Brit-land we have access to Amazon Prime TV, Netflix, Apple TV, Disney… not that I watch any of it. Plus we don’t have adverts every 5 minutes.

    As for elsewhere, have you considered Chile? As long as you’re friends with the local police, guns aren’t a problem.

    1. Q,
      I love Chile with a passion. I could live there without any problem at all. I’d even learn Spanish. The problem with them, and all the Third World, is that you’re only one change of government away from having it all turn to shit.
      Not that we’re much different in the U.S., nowadays.

  10. Frankly, Hungary struck me as quite nice when I was there. Austria and Germany are good. (FWIW, I agree with Kim that Vienna is drop-dead gorgeous. Paris run with Teutonic cleanliness.) France? Paris is New York with a French accent – the rest of the country is surprisingly like the U.S. Italy? The “we’ll figure it out as we go along” attitude drives me nuts. (Professional hazard of being a flight tester.)

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