Gold-Plated Invective

From Ishmael, snarling away from his lair in the Shetlands:

I was up all night, between here and watching the telly. It was a wee small hours, musical interlude, on Channel Four, firstly a film of Liam Gallagher’s new ensemble, Beardy Eye, playing their new album in the Abbey Road studios. Liam is the truly neanderthal, younger brother from Oasis, a thick, grunting Manchester-Irish fuckpig, dumb as shit, you can hear the wind whistling between his ears, if he was any more stupid he’d have to be watered twice a week; makes Manchester United’s Wayne Potato look like a full Mensa meeting, does Liam. Nothing wrong with stupid. There’s lots of people like Liam, their oil just doesn’t reach the dipstick. He’s not as stupid as he looks, mind, because he looks like he was beaten with the Ugly stick and then ate it, ugly as fucking sin, is Liam Gallagher, ugly as a hatfull of arseholes; if your dog had a face like Liam’s, you’d shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards. Stupid, ugly and nasty, that’s Liam Gallagher, a truculent moron, charmless, graceless and entirely without discernible musical talent, a sign, in fact, of Ruin’s corrosion.

Now that’s scorn and dislike for you.  And it gets worse…


  1. Reminds me of a woman I used to work with, her name was Peggy and we referred to her as Miss Piggy (especially when she wore her hot-pink suit). Ugly as a mud wall, dumber than a bag of hammers, and nasty as a rhino with a hornache. Red hair that looked like she cut it with hedge clippers. If I could find a picture of her it would cure you of your lust for red-heads, but I doubt any camera ever survived the attempt to capture her image. She didn’t even DRESS nicely, all her skirts were obviously self-tailored and she never accounted for her fat arse (to follow the Brit usage in the OP) so they were three inches shorter in back than front. Thankfully they were long enough that a man didn’t risk turning to stone when she had to get into the bottom drawer of the file cabinet.

    I’ve known LOTS of ugly women who were actually very smart, nice, or both. She’s one of the few I’ve known where the ugly went all the way to the core. No inner beauty there. Her only redeeming quality was that if you ground her up small enough she’d make good fertilizer.

    Man, I haven’t thought about her in YEARS.

    Mark D

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