News Roundup

All the news that isn’t about Afghanistan.


well, women shouldn’t play rugby in the first place, so


fake news, because you’re not allowed to carry a gun in NYFC.  Ditto below:

 
never happened.

And similarly:


doubleplusunpossible, because laws.

And:


because legal gun owners are the cause of all Britain’s crime problems, you see.


I see a job at the Clinton Foundation in his future.


eaten by a bear, was it?  No?  Then it’s “grisly”.  You fucking illiterate assholes.


you mean your parents signed your life away — or maybe they were already at the bank, depositing your money into their accountsHell, they weren’t even around when Justin Bieber popped your teenage cherry.


lol

And on that note, it’s time for SEX NEWS:


key word:  Michigan.


is it so wrong to get a woody when reading this headline?


what’s really funny are the comments in the article.

And just a little INSIGNIFICA:

   

No doubt getting a last-ditch effort for money before the old wailer pops his clogs.

Finally:

Okay, that’s enough Tess.

7 comments

  1. I and my then young daughters actually did see a dove come to a grizzly end. Bear swatted it out of the air and proceeded to eat it. Useful lesson for children about the way the world works.

  2. The dovesplat story reminds of an episode from my radio daze. At my 1st gig we did a weekly proforma public service program with the school district, wherein I’d interview the superintendent or someone he selected. One week it was a 2nd grade teacher who had taken her class on a field trip to a poultry farm, to show our precious future where their food comes from – i.e. The Evils Of Industrial Agriculture.

    Upon conclusion of their tour, Teach demanded that the plant manager liberate one of the innocent chicks into their custody. The demand was complied with and they took it back to class and named it Fluffy or something equally inane. They raised Fluffy and they loved Fluffy. One beautiful spring morning, they took Fluffy outside to bask in the embrace of Mother Earth and Father Sun. And a raptor of some kind (eagle or hawk) snatched fluffy away to the roof of the building and ate it alive in front of Teach and her charges.

    I love a happy ending.

    1. Like that seal kept as a pet, and when released into the wild was promptly devoured by a killer whale in full view of the family.
      You’d have to have a heart of stone…

      1. I think I remember a similar occurrence in the wake of the Prince William oil spill when a rehabbed seal was released to great fanfare; the high school band was there on the beach to help the community celebrate. Wound up serenading orca at mealtime.

  3. Isnt’ Tess Daly a little undernourished for you, Kim? Just proof you have very ecumenical tastes in women, I suppose. As do I, as do I. 😀

    1. It’s a combination of looks and personality in her case, as it is for her perennial co-presenter Claudia Winkelman.

  4. The article about the untimely demise of the dove does at least use the correct tense of ran/run, but it bothers me for the same reason as the article from a couple of days ago about the stunt double who was “ran over”. To my mind, if a person or animal is “run over”, it means they went under the vehicle as it went by. In both of the cases, they were hit, not run over.

    On a tangent, if the dove is a symbol of peace and the bald eagle is a symbol of freedom, what bird symbolizes true love?
    The swallow.

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