1. Him: “Your liberal mindset is a turn off.”
    Her: “Blowing your load on my mug is NOT conservative.”

  2. Her: “I’ll bet he’s thinking about that little bitch Stephanie at work!”

    Him: “So if Santa knows who’s naughty and nice, wouldn’t he have known that Rudolph was being bullied?”

  3. It was a stunning reversal: She asked “What’s wrong?” and he didn’t even deign to reply “Nothing.”

  4. He: A threesome is two girls and a guy!
    She: A threesome is two guys and a girl!

  5. And, once again, we see an overage of bed pillows leading to the inevitable downfall of ‘western’ ‘civilization’!


    The excess of bed pillows results in an uncomfortable and unfamiliar — and ultimately, unproductive — out-of-balance relationship!


    As she flounders helplessly, her excessive bed pillows places her in the unenviable dominant position!


    As she attempts to dominate the relationship through an excess of bed pillows — and an excess of verbiage — he wonders if the contents of that bottle of mayonnaise in the fridge would be enough for a nice tuna sandwich… probably!


    With only moments until the universe ‘cocks on its ear’, he cunningly ‘bides his time’ until she needs to take ‘a quick breath’, and then… he successfully makes a grab for those dang pillows!


    He equipped his ‘love chamber’ with an excess pillow just in case — and it is always the case — an over-night ‘guest’ requires some ‘quiet time’!

  6. Her: “What do you mean you don’t know what a ‘bolt carrier group’ is?”

    Him: “I’m sorry. I don’t like guns.”

    Her: “This is Texas. You should have told me before that you were gay.”

  7. Her: But I swear I wasn’t talking about you when I said “limp and shriveled is no way to go thru life.”

    Him: I know you were talking about *OTUS, but did you have to say it at that exact moment?

  8. Her Thinking: “You’re the reason we don’t have kids.”

    Him Thinking: “God its hard watching TV when she stares at me. Her sister doesn’t do this.”

  9. Her: “Honey, I really want this job at the strip club!”

    Him: “Yea but I don’t think I can handle the emasculation of being the bouncer’s boyfriend.”

Comments are closed.