News Roundup

Bad News

All the news that’s fit to ignore, laugh at, or take as a signal to start the shooting.


…and here I thought it was being caused by militant feministicals.


…nothing like encouraging a culture of snitching to build esprit de corps.


…not the best way to get carpet burns, really.  Key word:  Edinburgh.


…California Gauleiter Gavin Newsom was not available for comment.


…what’s a little thing like “law” when it comes to acting like a dictator?


…key word:  Australia.


…


…given that FC Dallas’s U-15 boys’ team recently beat your gaggle of lesbians 5-2, I wonder how well you  would do against the likes of Lionel Messi, Harry Kane, Ronaldo and Robert Lewandowski, seeing as you want to earn their kind of money?


…strange how it takes a ministerial order for the Brits to do for a year what we do every day Over Here.


…and it’s not even the Babylon Bee.


…funny how everybody calls the U.S. The Great Satan;  and yet when the shit hits the fan, nobody ever calls on the Norwegians or Swedes for assistance.

And now:  Insignifica

   
 

Finally, your ***REAL*** news:


…and for proof of said boo-boo:

Ankles?  Didn’t know she had ’em.

Get well soon, chica!

14 comments

  1. The lesbian footballer can whine all she wants. Two things:

    1) The players on the women’s team are getting paid according to a contract that they agreed to. They were offered a contract with an identical structure to the men’s team, and rejected it.

    2) The U.S. women’s team may win more games than the men’s team, but that doesn’t make them better at their job. Because, whatever the players may think, at the end of the day, pro athletes are entertainers. And the men’s game is much, much better at drawing eyeballs to screens than the women’s game. It’s the same reason why NBA players make, by rough guess, about 100x as much money as their WNBA counterparts. More (lots more) people want to watch their games.

    1. Someone should also remind the lesbian footballer that she doesn’t have a ‘job’ as commonly understood. She’s not bolting doors on F-150s in a factory line, after all. And the only result, ever, if she got her wish is the men would be paid as low as her.

      It never works in the other direction.

      Maybe if they wore bikinis and got into more fights on the field.

    1. “They’re not all lesbians, thankfully”… but it’s the safe way to bet.

  5. ‘an international coalition of ships………………………………’
    That means The United States Navy and nobody else and the good ol’ U.S. TAXPAYER gets
    to pick up the tab ( under threat of incarceration, if necessary ! ).
    ‘Arctic Passage which is increasingly passable due to climate change …..’
    There must be a requirement SOMEWHERE that say ‘climate change’ ( or global warming or whatever buzz words are being used THIS WEEK ) MUST be mentioned in EVERY story. If Biden’s dog farted, the story would contain SOMETHING about the dog’s farts helping to SOLVE ‘climate change’ ( gotta put everything and anything about Biden in a ‘good light !!!)

    1. The one good thing about the lockdowns in the UK, was that for 6 months I didn’t have the climate change hoax rammed down my throat whenever I turned the radio or TV on. Sadly it has come back with a vengeance.

  6. OTHER NEWS, sorta:

    Last evening, the good and well-trained professionals at Stratcom, sent out the following message: ;l;;gmlxzssaw. About a half-hour later, they sent out another message asking everyone to disreguard their previous message.

    Select all that apply:
    A) did they send out the launch code to obliterate the NorKs, and Teheran, while they were at it, but on the wrong system,
    B) was it an accidental “butt-dial” when some General leaned his flabby backside against the launch console,
    C) was it “Bring Your 2 Year-old to work day at Stratcom,”
    D) was Gropin’ Joe typing an essay on “Why I Like Ice Cream.

    1. A follow up: Apparently, the correct answer is C. It seems that someone who brought their little child to work left the little brat alone near an unattended keyboard. If you look at the message and how it appears on a keyboard, it looks just like something a child would type, or a Presidential Pretender would type when describing his favorite ice cream.

  7. About the Harris power grab: Oh, goody! Here’s her first chance to fail spectacularly at the federal level.

    (“Journalists” are already at work writing the articles of her amazing success.)

  8. It looks like the clasp on Salmas’ blue blouse is made from forged titanium. I don’t think anything else that small could be that strong.

  9. Shipping Firms……..Perhaps you need to start hiring crewmen who can defend your multi-million Dollar ships and cargoes, and buy them appropriate weaponry.

    1. Seems to me I read somewhere that unfortunately, some ports will not allow merchant vessels to have arms on board. Damned shame. Those thieving dickheads deserve a nice hot lead surprise.
      I think our Navy should charge the shipping companies and the entities that won’t allow armed merchant ships for patrolling pirate waters. Othewise, fuggemall.

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