1. “I couldn’t stop the dog from peeing on the drapes, so I found a different solution”

  2. This was the last time Phil had a dozen of his friends over to watch the game and drink beer in his apartment with only one bathroom.

  3. Fred’s decision to quit smoking was undermined by his wife’s design choices.

  4. I told my wife that I would quit smoking after I finish just a half pack (10), of cigarettes.

  5. I’m surprised nobody so far has made the “do the curtains match the rug” connection.

  6. Joanna Gaines putting this into her client’s home = the 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse.

  7. …but now in our next slide we’ll consider an example of good decorating taste…

  8. Final patriot in former Nation of America protesting with symbols dragged from memory hole. State agents arrested him last week and he is scheduled for execution shortly.

  9. Ladies, in your quest to continually ‘improve’ the decor, you seriously need to cut back on the couch-pillows!

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