From a buddy:
On a related note, I see that pharmacies are reporting that as more and more people are self-isolating, sales of hair dye are going through the roof: proof that some among us have their priorities perfectly straight. (Question: if you’re immured in your house, who the fuck is going to see you anyway?) Some people are too stupid, or vain, to exist.
In other news, I await with interest the headlines which will finally attest to the fact that public schools are not educational institutions but really just State-provided daycare:
Suburban mothers go batshit crazy at having to look after the kiddies 24/7; start drinking Bloody Marys nonstop from 6.30am
Mother stabs teenage son to death after 45th time in a week that he leaves the toilet seat up
Mother tells kids to “do whatever the fuck you want” after trying to homeschool them for four whole days
Your suggestions in Comments.