In ascending order of awfulness, proving that the gift-giver doesn’t really care about you.
- A used Barry Manilow “Greatest Hits” CD
- A non-transferable gift voucher for Dick’s Sporting Goods
- Aftershave lotion, when you have a beard
- An invitation to a time-share sales pitch
- A Toyota Prius
And for women:
- Cheap drugstore perfume
- A coffee mug with a “Caution: Bitch” label
- A photo of your husband posing naked with his mistress
- A plug-in room deodorizer
Your suggestions in Comments. Bonus points if you actually got one of them this Christmas.