This Means WAR!

…or maybe it might have, decades ago:

Britain could face a tea shortage in a row over land that was seized from native people in colonial-era Kenya.
A Kenyan governor is demanding £15billion of reparations for land that was ‘stolen’ in the 1930s and has warned of Zimbabwe-style farm grabs if Britain does not pay up.

You could do  all sorts of bad things to Brits… but take away their tea?  How would the island nation function?

Of course, in the good old days when faced with a sticky situation like this, the BritGov would simply have sent a gunboat over to Kenya, and either threatened to or actually shelled a seaport or two, and the Fuzzies would have capitulated, toot sweet.

Nowadays the BritGov has better things to do, like blocking the will of the people to leave the EU;  so the long-suffering Brits, deprived of their beloved tea. will just shrug and go to Costa, Starbucks or Caffè Nero instead.

Sic transit gustatum et bibendum.

Afterthought:  Needless to say, had the “settlers” not taken the land and farmed it, the land wouldn’t look like this:

…but instead like this:

…Kenyans being so good at farming, and all.


  1. You are assuming that the UK is even capable of such a thing. They barely managed in 82 and it has pretty much been downhill from there. I doubt they could even deploy without US support.

  2. I suspect a robustly Anglo-Saxon response. 🙂

    There are plenty of other sources of tea so the Kenyan can go do one.

  3. Were I the responsible party in the British government I would ask the Kenyan asshole how well such policies worked out for the people of Rhodesia and S. Africa.

    Then I would state in no uncertain terms that that sort of blackmail would *not* stand, and that I would be letting the farmers know that should they wish to return their land to the condition under which it was “stolen” and relocate elsewhere I would pay them a reasonable sum for their property, and pay reasonable moving expenses.

    Sink? Let Africa *burn*.

  4. Yeah, how dare we take a sunblasted shithole and turn it into something productive ? Da noive !

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